'Kicking' children out at 16...view please

angelicmary85

I think the 'kick them out at 16' thing is because at 16 you are supposed to be classed as an adult...I'm guessing that if you can have sex legally/have a baby/get married at 16, you are seen as being able to look after yourself.

squirrelchops

Yes angelicmary I agree....I was thinking about that. You can also leave school, work full time etc and hence be doing what 'adults' do. Yet to get a tenancy on a flat which one may do as an adult who is working for example you have to be 18. It feels to be there is a catch 22 situation.

Should the law therefore be changed to 16 as when parental responsiblity ends?

Icanandwillsavemoney

squirrelchops wrote: »

Hi all,


Given that by law children are children until 18 and heve there remains a parental responsibility until 18 I was wondering where the view of 'kicking' childrne out at 16 has come from?

You comment interest me in that you say children are chiuldren until they are 18. I agree with this however, I am one of those Mum's that threw her child out at 16.

My DS became very difficult from the age of 12, and over the period of 4 years he made the life of my DD and myself pretty unbearable. I knocked, shouted and cried for help from any and every service apparently available to no avail. Social Services did little to help over the 4 years however and once DS had tured 16, they really didn't want to know... the day came when we as a family could take no more and I asked him to leave. I also advised him to seek help from SS which he did... low and behold, all the support and help that we needed as a family until over 4 years came running to help!

DS was placed in supported accomodation, was given counseling and support.

Longer story short, DS is now an amazing 18 year old, he has turned his life and attitude around. Instead of heading to prison, he is now headed to university in September. He even thanked me for taking the action of asking him to leave as it made him realise just how awful he had become.

I am very proud of what he has achieved and we as a family now have a great relationship.

Sooooo if children are children until 18, the care system should support you at age 16 and not try to wriggle out of supporting those families that so desperately need it. I would have much prefered long term support that did not culminate in my asking him to leave just to get him the help and support he was so desperate for.

Icanandwillsavemoney

squirrelchops wrote: »

Yes angelicmary I agree....I was thinking about that. You can also leave school, work full time etc and hence be doing what 'adults' do. Yet to get a tenancy on a flat which one may do as an adult who is working for example you have to be 18. It feels to be there is a catch 22 situation.

Should the law therefore be changed to 16 as when parental responsiblity ends?

I think you ahve something there about the law. If it was set at 16 or 18, it would provide a clear guideline to parents, housing and also SS too.

angelicmary85

squirrelchops wrote: »

Yes angelicmary I agree....I was thinking about that. You can also leave school, work full time etc and hence be doing what 'adults' do. Yet to get a tenancy on a flat which one may do as an adult who is working for example you have to be 18. It feels to be there is a catch 22 situation.

Should the law therefore be changed to 16 as when parental responsiblity ends?

You also can't drive, buy fags or drink until you are older...it seems a bit messed up!

I think parental responsibility should end at 18...parents should always keep their door open to their kids until they are 100% ready to 'face' the world alone (although - I do joke about kicking mine out at 16 :rotfl:)

squirrelchops

Thanks icanandwillsavemoney...

So in your experience once your DS reached 16 you found SS basically didn't 'want to know' until he presented to them himself as homeless??

Also what made 16 the defining age for you to 'kick' him out and not 15 or 17??

Sorry to be nosey and I am no way being judgemental as your experience is very similar to many young people I work with. Your comments have been really useful as I am just trying to unpick the whole suppor or lack of it for our 16-18 year olds.

Thanks

squirrelchops

The thing as well is that if you have been a 'looked after child' ie cared for by the state for a certain period of time including your 16th birthday then SS have to retain responsiblity for you until 18. So hence again the state sees their responsiblity until 18.

This whole concept is getting me very confused!!! BUT it is also giving me a lot to think about and question.

LJM

at 16 they are still children and classed as children until they are 18. i am a mum myself to 2 girls and i wouldnt dream of kicking out my children i personally dont understand why some peeps do,no matter how old they are they are still your children which as a parent we all know the responsibilities that came with it and that you are in it for life

pigpen

squirrelchops wrote: »

Hi thanks for that pigpen.

But why 16...that is my real question I suppose. What as a parent means that 16 is seen as the marker of when children can be asked to leave and not 18 when, in the eyes of the law parental responsiblity ends?

thanks

Because if they are 15, SS get involved and want to cause hassle for you with your other children which isn't warranted usually.

Because they can legally live alone and have reasonable income at 16.. though if the parents could some would allow them to leave at 10!!

Because the 16 year olds often WANT to live alone at 16.. they think it is better than having to abide by the house rules! Mainly because they think they know everything and the parents are there to make their lives miserable an are stupid and know nothing.

What is more important than letting them go is.. letting them know they can come back.

jackieb

angelicmary85 wrote: »

You also can't drive, buy fags or drink until you are older...it seems a bit messed up!

I think parental responsibility should end at 18...parents should always keep their door open to their kids until they are 100% ready to 'face' the world alone (although - I do joke about kicking mine out at 16 :rotfl:)

I still have a 26yo at home! (and a 21yo, 17yo and 14yo ) The only reason the eldest is still here is because he's saving for a house, but he's looking to buy this year. It would be nice to get the house to myself now and again though - I think that won't be happening for a good while yet, even when the eldest goes.