sister taking the pi$$

concerned43

delain - sounds like my sister :-(

daska

concerned43 wrote: »

When it somes to SS action I could see the authorities moving my nephew to his granparents, rather than me - as they are a married couple, financially secure with more than enough room for their granson (he already has a bedroom there). However my nephew does not like being with them and would not want to live with them. They also hate my sister and would not encourage a relationship between mother and son, although she is a sh** mother - she is the only mother he has... I also doubt that I would get to see him!

I think you have to see further than the pound signs. A good social worker will look carefully at all these aspects and may find the grandparent's fall short of the mark.

delain

I think if you approached SS about what is going on and that YOU are willing to give your nephew a LOVING and SAFE home, and that you are worried and that if he was to come to you, you would consider moving to have room for him then it is very unlikely that they will turn you down if they decide he needs to leave his mum.

gizmo111

concerned43 wrote: »

Gizmo - not everything is in black and white. I need to take the whole family logistics into consideration and consider the ramifications of informing SS. When it somes to SS action I could see the authorities moving my nephew to his granparents, rather than me - as they are a married couple, financially secure with more than enough room for their granson (he already has a bedroom there). However my nephew does not like being with them and would not want to live with them. They also hate my sister and would not encourage a relationship between mother and son, although she is a sh** mother - she is the only mother he has... I also doubt that I would get to see him! I am not skirting around the issue and am not stupid when it comes to my sister's promises...but I don't go running into a situation with size 11 boots, re-acting before thinking things through. I am a person who will protect my nephew while I think, plan and assess the consequences of any action I may take.

Social services have no power to remove a child unless the parents agree or they havea court order. Only police have the power to remove without either of these. If your nephew was removed - and you are a long long way down the line before this would happen and if it was decided after assessments and talking to the child that he should be with his grandparents then the local authority has a duty to promote conatct with the family, you included. What I do know is that if you let this linger and something happens or someone gets that referal in before you and it comes to light that you didn't mention your concerns, which lets face it are serious then your ability to be a protective adult for your nephew would be seriously questioned.

daska

gizmo111 wrote: »

What I do know is that if you let this linger and something happens or someone gets that referal in before you and it comes to light that you didn't mention your concerns, which lets face it are serious then your ability to be a protective adult for your nephew would be seriously questioned.

Absolutely, we bumped into this one early on. When SS gave DSD into our care they told us that if they ever found that we had allowed DSD to return to her mother they would remove her immediately and oppose any attempt by us to gain residency. A concept we have never been able to get DSDs mother to comprehend. She always banged on about SS being on our side ROFLMAO NOT!