sister taking the pi$$

tiamai_d

If she has already mentioned trying to have another baby, then your nephew is not the only one at risk.

Please contact SS, I wish you all the very best.

kendalls_cave

I have a severe form of bipolar, and when I lived alone my flat was never a mess. quite the opposite. my inkling is that she maybe have some form of a mental health issue cos of her drug taking (seen friends with it) not the other way round. HTH

meritaten

gizmo111 wrote: »

There is no issue in them spending a weekend together - the Op says that it is to get them used to living together - this cannot happen if at all until she finds out what involvement SS have with him. I'm not telling her what to do it is entirely up to her , but skirting around the issue will not help the boy at all.

the OP isnt SKIRTING around the issue at all!! she is addressing it and taking action to help both her sister and her nephew! havent you read the whole thread?

floss2

gizmo111, please could you shuffle along to here....!

Mupette

concerned43 wrote: »

thanks again for your advice..my head is spinning. Sister picked him up at 5pm and said she had cleaned her house. I am going to speak to her Friday - at work 'till then and hopefully i will have a clear head by then. I also booked a doctor's appointment for her (two weeks time). I plan to go with her to the appointment so she will not be able to pull the wool over my eyes. I have also arranged to have my nephew stay over the bank holiday weekend to see how my son and he get on living under one roof.

The symptoms you described are also symptoms of being on speed, if she has bipolar then fair enough. she can then start getting the help she needs.

If it's drugs and she's using bipolar as a cop out, i wouldn't like to be in her shoes

[Deleted User]

Oh dear, sitting in here with tears in my eyes.. two kids being neglected and treated abysmally (followed the link above).., and then I thought if I have tears in my eyes how on earth do the kids being treated this way fee?. I remember how I felt in my difficult situation as a child.., and theirs is far far worse.

misgrace

Concerned, I have read this thread from start to finish, and I think you are amazing, and you want to do the right thing.
Go with your gut instinct, you know your sister better than we do, you know the real score, and deep down I feel that you know that your nephew hasnt got a cats chance in hell if he stays with her.

You can give him the chance, you can determine his little life and make it better, whatever you do with regards to your nephew can shape his future, and I know you will do the right thing.

I feel though that you must inform the proper authorities, even if it means getting sister into trouble, so be it, a boys life is the most important thing that matters.

Please let us know how things go, and i am praying for a happy outcome, you are one in a million.:T:T:T

concerned43

Gizmo - not everything is in black and white. I need to take the whole family logistics into consideration and consider the ramifications of informing SS. When it somes to SS action I could see the authorities moving my nephew to his granparents, rather than me - as they are a married couple, financially secure with more than enough room for their granson (he already has a bedroom there). However my nephew does not like being with them and would not want to live with them. They also hate my sister and would not encourage a relationship between mother and son, although she is a sh** mother - she is the only mother he has... I also doubt that I would get to see him! I am not skirting around the issue and am not stupid when it comes to my sister's promises...but I don't go running into a situation with size 11 boots, re-acting before thinking things through. I am a person who will protect my nephew while I think, plan and assess the consequences of any action I may take.

delain

Another vote for speed

The next time your sister is talking away like that and unable to be quiet, ask her to prove she is not on speed by eating something very dry, ie a digestive biscuit. She will refuse, but she will actively seem afraid of putting something dry in her mouth.

Signs of speed use include:
-talking non stop about anything at all (often complete rubbish)
-huge outbreaks of spots on the face
-smelling bad (they'll stay awake for days and it seems like one day so they wont realise or care it's been a week since they last washed)
-Unable to eat dry things or looking visibly afraid when it's mentioned
-huge bags under the eyes (from not sleeping)
-rapid weight loss
-bad breath, if they're on speed they won't want to put a toothbrush in their mouth

Also the fact that she summoned up the energy to clean her house could mean she took a large amount of speed to do it (I had a friend who would do this) rather than she made the effort for her son.

I would have said if you asked for a meeting with social services and explained to them how you are basically his main carer atm and how much you would like to offer him a loving home they should see that you have his best interests at heart and liase with you from the start.

[Deleted User]

It is definitely a difficult situation and u are right to look at what could happen. I hope that the fact that he spends so much time with u would count help in any assessments that were done of either family.