How to come to terms with a termination.

heretolearn_2

Actually, Marie Stopes is a charity. They provide abortions as part of what they do, but there is no business or ethical interest there in providing more or less abortions, so they are probably about as impartial as you can get.

They offer excellent free post-abortion counselling if you have had an abortion there.

I don't know what they offer if you had your abortion elsewhere.

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

There's a huge difference between losing a much wanted baby and terminating an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy.

Adoption is not the easy solution you suggest. Pregnancy and labour are risky and life threatening experiences, dealing with the emotions involved in adoption are usually much tougher and much longer lasting than after abortion, for the child too.

I did say that there was a difference, but in both cases (when you regret the abortion), you are mourning the loss. In any case, it was in response to pigpen message that did link the two.

I also never said that adotion was easy, far from it, but it is ONE option left that someone who has lost a baby doesn't have. As for to say that dealing with the emotions of adoption is much tougher than that of an abortion, I would like to know how you come to this conclusion....

FBaby

heretolearn wrote: »

Actually, Marie Stopes is a charity. They provide abortions as part of what they do, but there is no business or ethical interest there in providing more or less abortions, so they are probably about as impartial as you can get.

They offer excellent free post-abortion counselling if you have had an abortion there.

I don't know what they offer if you had your abortion elsewhere.

I don't have experience of Marie Stopes, but I do of BPAS and I do agree that their counselling is totally impartial. They have to be as they have been taken to court before by ladies having had a change of mind and blaming the organisation for not counselling them appropriately. It is not uncommon, part of the grief, but these organisations do have to protect themselves.

Ravenlady_2

Thank you for the messages sent by members if the forum, I am sad to say there was a few nasty ones telling me i deserved it all and should burn in hell, thanks. Freak.

Since I posted the first post, the pain didnt shift and ended up being diagnosed with PTSD, had a emotional breakdown, been on a lot of anti-depressants, my relationship nearly crumbled a few times and to be honest I have no idea how it survived.

6 months after the termination I got engaged to my OH and very recently gave birth to a beautiful little boy!

I know a lot of people are thinking what was the point of having the termination if i was just going to have another baby, well I cant answer that, i think i only went along with it to make OH happy and in the end went to emotional hell whilst he didn't actually have a clue !!!!!! just happened.

however my son is lucky to be here as my cervix wont hold another pregnancy, it barely held him due to the amount of treatment i had.

FBaby

i think many won't have pick up that your thread was started over a year ago, I didn't!!! So please to hear that even though you went through hell, you came out of it and had a lovely baby. Your relationship probably survived because you were meant to be together, but you were not to know that at the time.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Sorry to hear you had some backlash. To be expected, maybe? But certainly not deserved. x

pozalina

Congratulations on the birth of your son. I hope he is helping with the healing process.

leos-mummy

So for people who dont know Im the girl who caused lots of arguements on a previous thread about abortion. I am still of the same opinion and always will be no matter how strong a case the opposing side gives. However, I realise that there is a certain way to present my arguements and apologise if I caused offense... although such a strong subject often brings great emotion.

To the OP I am very sorry to learn of what your going through and wont pretend to know what its like because I don't. This simply strengthens my belief that abortion isn't a decision to be taken lightly if not at all. It does affect peoples lives and emotions and can certainly not be compared with the 'removal of a tumor' as was presented to me on a previous thread. I reccomend you seek help from a counsellor, you could maybe research others available aside from NHS ones to see if you can get an earlier appointment, some charities may offer there services for free. I seen a counsellor for a few months once to do with something unrelated but it really helped me to open up to someone. And remember if you don't like him/her then you dont have to stay... they are there to listen to make you feel bad. I wish you all the best in the future and you will be in my prayers.

To the lady on page one of this thread who told of her ordeal regarding her abortion... I too am very sorry to hear about this. I am of the opinion that sometimes young people are not given the best care in hospitals as i felt this myself when i was in hospital and a few insensitive comments can really have an affect on you. Although the majority of doctors and nurses are absolutely brilliant and cannot be faulted there are certainly a few who would benefit from learning better social skills.

And finally, for all those who complained about my poor grammar and my use of 'txt speak' on the previous thread I hope this post is a bit more to your liking. And before anyone kicks of yes this is the same poster. I am not a 'silly little girl' I am educated and can type full sentences when I want to

Much love to all xoxo

leos-mummy

Oh just read you recently had a baby boy... congratulations

'Mothers hold their childrens hands for a while... their hearts forever'

Torry_Quine

Kimberley82 wrote: »

How is it rubbing salt in the wound? they are a business not a charity.

Having to pay for an abortion and then pay again afterwards when you have problems.

heretolearn wrote: »

Actually, Marie Stopes is a charity. They provide abortions as part of what they do, but there is no business or ethical interest there in providing more or less abortions, so they are probably about as impartial as you can get.

They offer excellent free post-abortion counselling if you have had an abortion there.

I don't know what they offer if you had your abortion elsewhere.

Not from the experience of women I know, Marie Stopes tend to think that any problems are minor and only last for a short time.

FBaby wrote: »

I don't have experience of Marie Stopes, but I do of BPAS and I do agree that their counselling is totally impartial. They have to be as they have been taken to court before by ladies having had a change of mind and blaming the organisation for not counselling them appropriately. It is not uncommon, part of the grief, but these organisations do have to protect themselves.

Hadn't heard about court cases.