How to come to terms with a termination.

ceridwen

pigpen wrote: »

depends on whether you think of it as 'a baby' or not..

and.....for once...I agree with Pigpen.

Personally..I think its absolutely "insane" to let "Mother Nature" make such an important decision for you.

It is NOT...absolutely NOT...for Mother Nature to do such a thing...

The person themselves decides...end of...

Humphrey10

leos-mummy wrote: »

An apology if i caused offense or upset

You deliberately derailed a thread started by someone asking for help, causing the thread to be closed. Of course you should apologise!

thatgirlsam

leos-mummy wrote: »

An apology if i caused offense or upset but not an apology for my viewpoint... we have to remain true to ourselves otherwise we would all be robots programmed in the same way

No-one is asking you to apologise for your viewpoint - Just be careful though.. I have to say that a lot of people wouldn't agree with maybe some aspects of your life and I hope that people don't air their views to you in the same way

leos-mummy

I am a decent person i know this because the people who matter to me believe i am... people on the internet dont matter. il never know who u are and nor will u know me. we have different opinions on a subject thats as far as it goes, i certainly wont be loosing any sleep over it

all the best..

leos-mummy

Humphrey10 wrote: »

You deliberately derailed a thread started by someone asking for help, causing the thread to be closed. Of course you should apologise!

Err i dont c anyone here askin me to apologise i done it of my own back because i am a nice person i probably could have presented my views more sensitively. i wasnt the only person on the forum defering from the original question so shouldnt be made a scapegoat. the OP has got the answers she needs. thread is closed, end of!

ceridwen

McKneff wrote: »

You have no idea what any others of us have gone through pigpen.
It is a life changing decision, maybe not as major as having the baby but
life 'as usual' has gone forever. You have to live with what you have done,
find a way of accepting it and move on, but it will never be forgotten.

If you managed to convince yourself that it was no different to choosing a pairof shoes then God help you.

Let me ask you one thing, what were your actual views before hand.

Well...for what its worth...stop being so bl**dy sanctimonious....why the **** SHOULD one's life be determined by an "accident" created by ones body?:mad::eek::mad::eek::mad::eek:

WE decide - end of.....

thatgirlsam

leos-mummy wrote: »

I am a decent person i know this because the people who matter to me believe i am... people on the internet dont matter. il never know who u are and nor will u know me. we have different opinions on a subject thats as far as it goes, i certainly wont be loosing any sleep over it

all the best..

Maybe you are decent, who knows

We can only judge from what you post on here...

leos-mummy

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Maybe you are decent, who knows

We can only judge from what you post on here...

I realise that and will certainly try and be more sensitive in future. Perhaps i would have came across a nicer person on a subject that didnt bring great emotion such as gardening lol

ceridwen

viktory wrote: »

To some. Not everyone that has had a termination suffers heartrending guilt and anguish.

Well - I guess it really boils down to whether peeps think "I am the one that makes all the major decisions about MY life - and my body is NOT NOT NOT going to make them for me" camp or no.

I must admit that I personally am in the "I" am the one that makes such important decisions about my life - and I am NOT going to let my body go ahead and make a decision that is MINE and MINE alone to make.

I guess it really does boil down to what our basic viewpoint is personally about life - ie whether we let Life happen to us (ie our body gets to make OUR decisions for us) or we insist that WE (and we alone) get to make the major decisions about our life.

I am personally in the "I - and I alone - will make all the major decisions about my life" camp - but I am well aware that some people will let their body/fate/Life decide for them...

Horses for courses I guess - but I know that personally I absolutely insist that I and I alone will make all major decisions about my Life...so I do find it very difficult to understand others letting other factors decide their Life for them.....

MoneySavingMamma

I think it's fair that Leos-mummy has an opinion, she should have posted once stating her views.

Yes she was over the top & a bit harsh, but the situation can be upsetting to people whose beliefs are very pro-life.

I do think it was unacceptable to continue the pro-life rant over several posts, but I also think it is unacceptable for others to attack her parenting, the fact that she was on here rather than playing with her child. I love my son to bits, andplay with him lots, but I come on here & have a natter etc. We all do, otherwise these threads would be less than 20% of what they are! Doesn't make me a bad mum, we'd go insane if we played baby/child games every second our child does!

I would say I am 70% pro-life & 30% pro-choice, if that make sense!

Abortions must not be taken lightly, but if you need one, do it, get over it & make it push you to make the most out of your life.

I believe abortions should be available, after appropriate councelling.

They should not be an option thought about before the s-e-x, as in 'I can still do it, if I get in trouble I can always get an abortion' !! (this does happen in SOME cases)

It should also not be used if it's 'a bit inconvienient' to have a baby. I know of a situation where someone had one, then chose to get pregnant a year later. Nothing had changed financially or otherwise in their lives.

I also read a magazine debate on the subject where a woman quite freely admitted to 4 abortions, one at uni, one a year into her 1st job, 1 just before her wedding & one where she jst couldn't be bothered with motherhood yet. 4 TIMES! BUY A PACKET OF RUBBERS!

Also when I got pregnant at 18, I was told by the clinic that I must have an abortion, theres no way I could be a mother, it's very hard! Err.. yes I know, I had baby siblings. I was bright and in a relationship, there was no way I was having one, but she put the doubt in my mind. I had the baby, it was hard but the best decision of my life!

But in support of them, if I had got pregnant within a year or two I would have seriously considered one. (Most likely in fact) I could never have coped & had PND. I would have done this slightly for me, but mostly for my sons quality of life. Another child would have over stretched me & OH mentally, physically & financially (Having a child young did put us on a rocky patch) I would not have been such a good mum to my son & he would not have turned out as well as he has today. One bright & well rounded son is better than 3 miserable, naughty children being brought up by a single mum. (This would of been the outcome of my situation, but I KNOW some single mums can bring 3 up perfectly!)

I think drunks, drug addicts, or people who have mental problems not allowing them to care for their child should definately have the choice. I think its the best option for most (not all) under 18s.

Also I didn't want children & never planned to have any in my life, but I fell in love with my son & he changed my life.



Back in relation to the OP, you did what was right for you. You need to now make something out of that choice - achieve something, work hard and save money up. By using this to fuel you ambition, determination to make a great life for yourself, you can then add a baby to you life & it will be a better life for this child.

Good luck to those being in any situation, before or after termination.