Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

WestieFan

I think my kids would have been in care within a month if I had left them behind.

He had never changed a nappy, and never really helped with any of the daily care of them. He also developed a profound deafness between 9pm and 8am.

In over 10 years they have not had as much as a birthday or Christmas card. So no, it never entered my head to leave them behind.

mandi

Spendless wrote:

mandi-How do you feel about posting how much IS for a SP with 2 kids is and what is and isn't included in this?

When tabloid headlines hit the press inevitably they say something like parent on benefits claim ££££ but inevitably they are large families and often in receipt of DLA too (which they would get if working, I think I'm right in saying this is not a means tested benefit????).

Could you work from home perhaps?

Thanks for your brilliant( & some sad replies becles, Black Saturn, Westie, and anyone ive missed). :T Im quite suprised we havent been given an almighty telling off ( yet)

Spendless,

My business idea, was working from home.. Which would give me all the flexibility I need..to look after my son, and means I could also rearrange my work in the event that hes ill/or injured ( he was off school for 7 weeks last year)

Ive thought about part time work to fund the advertising for my business, but as mentioned in the thread, its not simple to come off IS,and if I do I will then loose other benefits, and have to fund an advertising bill of £150.00 a month.. any money I earn will then be taken into acount, and my benefits, reduced accordingly.. Believe me Ive tried.. I worked really hard last summer, and received nothing financially in return

I really hate being in this position, as a trained nurse, and an experienced Estate Agent.. I feel as though Im wasting my life..

I think if school holidays were reduced in the summer, it would help lots of lone parents.. No employer will give you 6 weeks off work, plus time off for your children when they are ill etc.. and I cant baim them.. I wouldnt








Happy Birthday Margaret, :bdaycake: :bdaycake: :bdaycake:

looby75

taxi97w wrote:

Enough of this defensiveness already!
The lady protesteth too much me thinketh.
Don't start on me... or I'll just leave u to it.
My point is, as someone else has said, I think, no I know, I'm worse off being in work.

I protest too much by stating my situation sorry but I didn't realise you had a crystal ball and a inside view to my life, if I had known that I wouldn't have bothered replying to another posters question about how much a single parent on benefits receives...I could have just left it to you to post for me :rolleyes:

As for starting on you, how the heck is replying to your post is starting on you???

looby75

jooles5a wrote:

Looby, some chemists do a free dispensing and drop off service - they pick up the prescription from your docs and sort it out for you - may be worth enquiring about at a few chemists.

Thanks unfortunately that isn't really an option here, when my ds needs meds it's usually antibiotics so he only gets them when he visits the gp...then the nearest chemist is another bus ride away. The drop off thing is only for regular repeat prescriptions. But thanks for the suggestion though

Sarahsaver

westernpromise wrote:

As a matter of interest, did anyone who's left their fella and become a SP at any point contemplate leaving without the kids and letting him deal?

I got him to leave the house under police escort and I still in the back of my mind dread anything happening to me and him coming back to claim 'his' kids. My son is still having problems because of the way his father treated him and me, and I have terrible guilt sometimes that I didn't get out of the situation sooner.

I used to have to phone him to get him out of bed when I worked full time and he worked an afternoon shift. It broke my heart to leave the house my babies just woke up and their own father wouldn't get out of bed to see to them. He worked too just different hours. Being a single parent after that was a doddle.
If he had been good enough a father to leave the kids with him, then we may have still been together.

Read any copy of the daily mail and single mothers are 'scrounging' if they don't work and 'abandoning their kids' if they do go to work :rolleyes:

Oh and when you are 'just at home with the kids' don't bother studying if you are on DLA or INCAP as they will take even 3 hours study a week to mean that theres absolutely nothing wrong with you...

looby75

krisskross wrote:

I personally can imagine nothing more soul destroying than being at home alone all the time with no money to do anything. We are social animals, we need interaction with other adults. Work fulfils this function admirably.

I may have no money but I am certainly not at home all day alone, (except when my ds is ill and we can't go out) When he is at school I am busy out and about, I do shopping for one of my elderly neighbours who isn't steady on her feet, I have friends with young children who I can call in for a coffee with and other friends who work shifts so I have plenty of social interaction with people. I loved working before my ex left and yes it was great to have adult time but I'm just as able to get my social interaction now I'm not working.

seven-day-weekend

margaretclare wrote:

Hi Mandi

Margaret (it's my 71st birthday today)

Hey! Happy Birthday to You!

Murtle

black-saturn wrote:

Feel sorry for your oldest child with that burden.

Personally I think that's a terrible thing to say. Some children don't mind doing things for others, it the way they've been brought up. Some do, that's the way they were brought up to. But to call your siblings a burden is harsh.

black-saturn

Sarahsaver wrote:

My son is still having problems because of the way his father treated him and me

My DD1 is the same. Theres no way shes emotionally ready to be left with a childminder, after school club or on her own. People don't realise what some of these children have been through.

Smiley_Mum

Prior to being a single parent, I had a good job and had never claimed benefits ever, had always supported myself. I was a victim of DA whilst pregnant. I left pronto, was left very much on my own and I managed to sort out a flat for myself, take care of a 16 month old, whilst dealing with a very abusive ex etc That was a while ago, I have looked into going to college and today have sent for information on a variety of courses. I'm hoping I can do something by open learning from home. If I have to attend college then I'd only be able to go in the morning as afternoons would fall during school pick up time. I had a rare evening to myself the other week, 1st one since oldest son was a baby, he's 7 now.

I get so annoyed at people who look down their noses at single parents, particularly when they don't know a persons circumstances etc. My ex doesn't pay maintenance, although he has a second family now, I feel if he couldn't afford to take care of the first, then he shouldn't have gotten started on a second. I don't drink, I don't smoke, evenings out are extremely rare. I think the world of my kids and I do my best to be mum, dad, teacher, etc etc to them. Part of me feels tremendous guilt about what happened and I wish that their father would get his act together but I think I'm expecting miracles on that front, so I do my utmost for them to be happy and so far I think I've done a good job.