Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

taxi97w

bulchy wrote:

As the OP hasnt said what her actual income is, how do you know she is better off than you?
Sue

Yes, sorry. I'm comparing our situation to what looby75 said.

chugalug

lush_walrus wrote:

Mandi,

I can see your point and have sympathy for your situation, but you havent really helped your arguement for not working. For anyone who is a working parent the idea that someone with a child of 12 is unable to work AT ALL is quite ludicrous to be honest.

It may be that it is difficult for you to find work, or difficult to find work that encompass school hours but it can't possibly be that just because you have two children over 12 you can not work!

TBH it's harder finding childcare for older children than it is for younger children. My youngest is 11 this year so can still go to the summer clubs but next year they may or may not accept him. I don't think its right to leave a 12 year old on their own all day while you work but what else do you do??

I have to say I agree with the OP. When I was a single parent there were no tax credits - in fact you couldn't claim childcare at all. I had a good job when my first marriage ended but had to give it up. It was a choice of paying the childcare or the mortgage, I couldn't do both. I asked social services for help but because I wasn't a 'problem family' I was told to stay at home and look after my own children. So I gave up my job. It was hard on IS but to compensate I had lots of time with my children who are now 19 and 20. No-one can give that precious time back once it's gone so I'm glad now.

My youngest hasn't had that because I've always worked. I never wanted to be put in the position of being on benefits again and can't see that anyone would choose it. It's usually the lesser of two evils!!!!

Single parents should be admired - most of us just want the best for our children and do that the best way we can however hard it is.

iwanttosave_2

God have times changed that much? I was left to look after my brother while my mum went out to work when I was 12, I think I started to look after myself atabout 10 years old.

larmy16

Been on benefits years ago and now work. Not a great difference in standard of living. It is still scrimp scrimp scrimp. Rising costs in fuel, gas. electricity and that darned council tax all add to the stress. It hits us all on the lower income end.

I believe the tax system is very ungenerous too. Keeps you almost at benefit level. While I do not condone people not wanting to work, I can quite understand their reasoning. It costs money to get to and from work, either transport or running a car. Don't know the answer though - just keep grinding on!:D

looby75

taxi97w wrote:

Yes, sorry. I'm comparing our situation to what looby75 said.

I posted what money I have coming into the house, not how much I have going out.

As I said I was left debts to pay by my ex, debts which he ran up but I was foolish enough to allow to be put in my name thinking that marriage actually meant as much to him as it did to me. Obviously not because he ran off with someone 14 years younger than him and left me with the kids and the bills.

You have no idea how much better off I am or not than you, so please don't jump to conclusions.

looby75

taxi97w wrote:

I would welcome a thread about working peoples' state of affairs- because from what you've said, OP, you're better off than us- (my working household), yet you're complaining?

Seeing as you were replying to me and not the OP,

At the end of most weeks I have to rob peter to pay paul, I have no money for luxuries and if anything goes wrong in the house I am up that well known creek without a paddle. I have recently been without a fridge freezer for over 8 weeks because my old one, bought when I got married almost 14 years ago, broke and if it hadn't been for the generosity of my sil's family I would still be managing without one.

I got married at 18 and supported my husband through university and then his career. I have worked part time whenever it was an option, but as soon as my husband left this was no longer an option. I have no childcare at all and a son who can be right as rain in the morning when I send him to school but burning up and in pain with a ear infection by lunch time. What employer is going to be happy with me upping sticks to look after him every 3-4 weeks or so.

As I said in my post, I'm not complaining about the level of benefits I receive, I am very grateful for every penny, but I do complain when people seem to think that I am living the high life, just because I get "all that money" in my bank every week. It is very very hard being a single mum on benefits, just as it is very very hard being a working parent on a low wage. I don't assume that people who work are rolling in it and have money to throw away so why do so many people assume I do?


Its unfair stereotyping and I will continue to complain loudly until the stereotypes are broken.

singlehouseholder

Hmm,I predict a riot.

loopy-loo73

iwanttosave wrote:

God have times changed that much? I was left to look after my brother while my mum went out to work when I was 12, I think I started to look after myself atabout 10 years old.

YES :eek:
Times have changed a huge amount.
While it was fine for me to look after my younger sister & go out to play all day long, i wouldn't dream of leaving my daughter alone while i went to work.
It's not that i don't trust her but i don't trust other people.
I'm lucky, when i left my ex i had a lot of family support and although i claimed benefits for a while i had my mum to help when i went back to work full time. She now looks after my DD in the school holidays & breakfast/after school club does the job during term-time.
I think all single parents should be commended for doing their very best for their kids in really difficult circumstances.
I'm engaged now with a wonderful OH and am looking for a term time job so i can get back some time with my daughter before she's too old & doesn't want mum hanging round anymore!
Lou.

taxi97w

looby75 wrote:

As I said in my post, I'm not complaining about the level of benefits I receive, I am very grateful for every penny, but I do complain when people seem to think that I am living the high life,...
I don't assume that people who work are rolling in it and have money to throw away so why do so many people assume I do?
Its unfair stereotyping and I will continue to complain loudly until the stereotypes are broken.

Enough of this defensiveness already!
The lady protesteth too much me thinketh.
Don't start on me... or I'll just leave u to it.
My point is, as someone else has said, I think, no I know, I'm worse off being in work.

black-saturn

iwanttosave wrote:

God have times changed that much? I was left to look after my brother while my mum went out to work when I was 12, I think I started to look after myself atabout 10 years old.

I looked after myself from 8 years old when my mum went to work full-time. It doesn't mean I think it's right for my children to do the same now.