Nursery Problem---Please advise

Motherof1

Hi All, I would appreciate some help and guidance with this one please.

Today, I turned up at my daughters nursery 20 minutes late. She is in the Toddler Room. While walking in I noticed that the preschool children were playing outside. There are two carers in this room but one of them did not see me....hope this is all making sense...

I then noticed a little boy smack another little boy...then all of a sudden the one carer SCREAMED at him...making the other kid cry. She demanded to know why he did this while grabbing his arm telling him to get away and get insisde....still screaming so loud at him...she pushed him and he went inside crying.

After seeing this I was so livid....I didnt care that the manager was on her luch break so I complained to her and she said she would speak to that girl. My daughter is due to go to that class in a few weeks (she will be 3 on 23 August) and I am so angry with this girl for treating the children like that. We entrust our kids to nurseries or childminders because we have to work and ofcourse we dont want our kids to be scared to death to go there.

My daughter is already having day visits to this class and I'm dreading her being there full time. My question is this? Could I request for her to stay in Toddlers (maybe they could do preschool activites with her)? I know that if I had seen her do this to my little girl I would probably slapped her. As she did this today.....how do I know what else goes on when I'm not around.

I'm sorry for this being such a long post....but I am fuming mad and I want something more done than I talking to....It seemed to me that she probably has a problem controlling her temper.......

Is there anything else I can do or anywhere I can go....basically I dont think this girl should be working around kids....I certainly dont want her around mine...

My daughter attends nursery only part time while I'm at work. She enjoys her Toddler class and the girls in there are nice...I have got to know them really well. She starts junior school next Septemeber so I hope I wont have to move her because of that girl.

Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks again.

scoobydo_2

Hi sorry to hear about your problem , I am trained in childcare and was on placement in a day nursery .A placement I hated as I saw so so much that troubled me , kids being shouted at or ignored while staff chatted .I am now a childminder and never shout at or humiliate a child I feel so stongly that if a parent wanted a web cam set up in my home so they could log on and see how there child is I would have no objection .
Personally I would talk to the nursery manager also put your observation and complaint in writing ( all records have to be kept ) if your not happy with the responds contact ofsted . I have this complaints policy in action in my home where I mind . As part of a childminding network we are required to let parents know about how to complain if they aren't happy .

Good luck

seven-day-weekend

I certainly don't approve of the person's behaviour, but it's probably all to do with money (I assume it's a private nursery that needs to make a profit?).

If you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

Is there not a nursery attached to a local Infant or Primary School you could send her to?

fsdss

years ago when i was a student, i was placed in nurserys for baby experience, and i saw a similar occurrance however the girl involved forcibly slammed a 13month old baby on a beanbag and screamed at her. Forgetting that i was years older than her (and wiser), and worked in a Social services childrens dept at the time, i tore a strip off her and reported her to the manager. i wish that i had reported her to the local authority as recently when looking at nurseries for my baby i saw that she was in charge of the baby room at one particular nursery.
i walked out of this nursery and expressed my disgust at the managers choice of management.

unfortunatley nurseries are full of young adults who are on the minimum wage, and often intelligence levels of those employed are not of a high standard. ( i'm not saying that all employees an unintelligent, its just that the wages attract these type of people) and these few people mar the rest of the good workers / carers that are doing their vocational job

hankc35

For about 5 years when I was skint I worked as a nursery school photographer, I reckon I have been to about 250 nurseries and pre schools, usually spending over 5 hours on each visit. IMHO from an outsiders view they are generally staffed by min wage 18-25 yr olds, but I have never witnessed anything like you saw and generally they do care well for the children. I would look to move your child into a different nursery as the one you have your child in is obviously below par if it accepts this sort of behaviour.

The only thing that did cross my mind is that possibly the child you saw punished is a child who is possibly showing regular violence towards other children, if this is the case maybe a short sharp shock is what the child needs, after all you dont want that child thinking its ok to hit your child, do you?

jiblets1

My advice would be to talk to the manager again about how concerned you are and see how much faith she instils.
As a teacher, I have been present at various situations where I felt the adult's behaviour was inappropriate. Theoretically, this situation has been raised by you, and as such should have been already dealt with by the manager. Unfortunately this isn't always the case. Talking with him/her again should confirm or allay (sp?) any fears you have.

Of course your other option is to take your child to another nursery. You will now how possible this is.
I would also suggest tactfully asking around the other parents to see if they have any such suspicions.

johnlizzy

hi
this is my first post and wanted to write as i found my myself in a very similar position.
When I was a student nursery nurse I worked in three nursery and they were all as you described. Children were regularly humiliated, shouted at and shoved about. One particularly nasty group of teenage girls used to play a version of bowling, scoring points with how many children could be knocked over by throwing balls or teddies at them.
Once i finished I got a job at a small kindergarten which had a good mixture of ages working there, people who have children of their own, and that had a much better vibe, children were atcually happy there. Unfortunatley nurseries attract young unqualified girls and this creates !!!!!iness. All I can suggest is you move her to a nursery run by a school. I don't think they will allow you to keep a child in the toddler room as this will upset the ratios and spoil profit (as children get older they can employ less staff).

the_other_mce

On my daughters first day at pre school a (large!) thug hit her in the face with a 'tonka type' lorry -full force. He was quietly told 'we don't do that here' and left to get on with it. My daughter was disturbed by this ( as well as very bruised and upset) and never settled at nursery because she didn't feel safe.I had to take her out after four weeks and she only went for 2 hours twice a week. The boy had ADHD, violent tendancies and should never have been allowed to attend the pre-school (he had already been chucked out of two pre-schools and he was only 3 years old - his mother didn't tell the nursery staff about that!) I think that the staff need to be a bit firmer with some children. My daughter still talks about 'the boy' and although people said she would never settle in big school if I took her out - she was fine. I can't comment on your case because I wasn't there but I would have been a bit happier if the child had at least been told told off, and so would my daughter.
Sorry to rant but this has bugged me for four years now...... maybe the girl in your case had seen too much bad behaviour..... would you want your daughter to mix with the other boy if his behaviour goes unchecked?

Rachie_B

IMO its easy, if you are un any way unhappy about the level of care / behaviour of staff in the nursery then take her out

its not worth the worry / pain caused to you or your daughter i dont think

i did this when i wasnt happy about my eldest sons Childminder when i went back to college

i am an ex nursery nurse and im afraid i too have seen this kind of behaviour in day nurseries

Rachie_B

the_other_mce wrote:

On my daughters first day at pre school a (large!) thug hit her in the face with a 'tonka type' lorry -full force. He was quietly told 'we don't do that here' and left to get on with it. My daughter was disturbed by this ( as well as very bruised and upset) and never settled at nursery because she didn't feel safe.I had to take her out after four weeks and she only went for 2 hours twice a week. The boy had ADHD, violent tendancies and should never have been allowed to attend the pre-school (he had already been chucked out of two pre-schools and he was only 3 years old - his mother didn't tell the nursery staff about that!) I think that the staff need to be a bit firmer with some children. My daughter still talks about 'the boy' and although people said she would never settle in big school if I took her out - she was fine. I can't comment on your case because I wasn't there but I would have been a bit happier if the child had at least been told told off, and so would my daughter.
Sorry to rant but this has bugged me for four years now...... maybe the girl in your case had seen too much bad behaviour..... would you want your daughter to mix with the other boy if his behaviour goes unchecked?

i can understand why you werent happy,no one likes to see their child hit by another child

it sounds to me like the nursery in Q didnt know how to deal with a child with ADHD but you have to remember, he was 3 !!! many "normal" 3 yr olds hit / throw toys etc

the fact he had ADHD means nothing IMO and its not a case of being "firmer" with him

bobsa1

I would put a complaint in writing to the nursery and state you want a written response. I would also move nurseries, either private or school nursery but I would move.

Once you have lost confidence with your childcare it cannot be regained. sorry if it isn't a lot of comfort but this will happen again.