Nursery Problem---Please advise

Motherof1

Black-saturn:

Well what you said is true to a degree....but in an ideal world most of us would love to sit at home with our kids! It doesn't mean that because we go to work that we don't care for and love them. I love my daughter so much but for financial reasons I work part time....it's very hard in this day and age to get buy on a single income. I wish everyone would stop making working mother's feel guilty. If your chosen nursery doesn't feel right then it probably isn't just take your kids out and look for something better.

blessings3

looby75

I just so agree - Damed if you do and damed if you donn't

Scientifically the ''evidence'' swings both ways - Studies have shown children who go to nursery between 2-3 are actually brighter by aged key stage 2 than children totally home cared for, but they can also be more agressive Other studies have show depression among 3 year old home cared for in a significant number of poorer homes - one of the reasons Sure Start was started

What I really hate is the religiouse zeal of some stay at home mums who can see no other path - only they are the saved and have seen the light

finc

mcelhinney wrote:

and generally its not an option because parents arent prepared to give up the flash cars and holidays

Unless you've got a crystal ball and psychic powers I really don't know how you can seriously make that statement.

There's more to being a parent than being in your child's presence 24 hours a day. They need to eat, have a stable home and a roof over their head as well.

I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months as financially I had no choice unless I didn't mind unnecessarily claiming benefits. If I could have just about managed to live without returning to work I would have been a SAHM. There were definitely no flashy cars or holidays, just nice healthy mortgage payments and nutritious food to eat.

I now am a SAHM for my son as financially we are better off (sort of) but just about make ends meet. However in 2 weeks time he will be going to a playschool for 2 mornings a week without me. This doesn't mean my son is unloved, neglected or anything else you think of children who are put into childcare. He will be having a healthy balance of independance and time with me. Children also need to learn social skills which nurseries etc are great for. :mad:

beautifulgorgeous_2

Children need to be with other children away from Mum before they go to full time school wether Mum works outside the home or not IMO.

littlemissfrugal

why why why does it always end up the same argument - its gets really boring - those who think mums who go to work are neglecting their children ought to look deeper into childrens issues and see that bad parents are bad parents wether they work or not - what about some sahm who sit round all day smoking and drinking tea while the kids watch telly - i know some (related to one) just because they stay at home doesn't make them a good mum.
Also has for the financial issue - just a thought even if childcare does eat up a large amount of salary by earning you are making NI contributions in order to get a state pension (if it still exists by retirement) i am in the position of because i had a gap to stay at home with No 1 DD i have a shortfall to pay and guess what i can't afford it unless i work!

P.S Mother of 1 how did you get on with the lastminute childcare? its a tough position to be in

Claudie

No one ever thought my DH loved our children less than I did when he returned to work full time.

There is enough guilt in this world and why make assumptions about families you don't know?

How about a group hug?!

And as a matter of interest - I have not worked - worked full time and worked part time - always felt guilty for something. Now have v lovely well adjusted children, well imho anyway

Sarahsaver

regarding the OP i would not send my kids there, rather be broke than have my kids mistreated like that.

Motherof1

Hi littlemissfrugal,

I phoned the boss this morning and explained that I didn't have any childcare. One thing for sure is this has been a complete mess! I went to see a pre-school in the area this morning and a childminder. Both seem nice. Unfortunately, although my little one is funded for the sessions I still have to pay the childminder even if she's at the pre-school. She did say this was because she would be responsible for her during that time. She should be starting there tomorrow and hopefully it will go smoothly so I can go back to work tomorrow or Wednesday. I will have a lot to catch up on. I have never left her with a childminder and I hope this is the right choice considering my nursery scenarious.

I completely agree with your post. It's completely out of order for some people to point fingers at those of us who have to work whether it's full time or part time. It's not easy managing everything but without the money we would really be in dire straights.....I also know someone who sits at home and claims to be the perfect parent....but the kids watch TV all day! Far from educational I would say.

Cheers.

trickytrolleys

I dont actually have a problem with mothers who go to work, although i chose not to - what i dont like is mothers who claim they do it for the kids when the money they earn doesnt make any real difference to their finances, if people could be honest like blessings then it wouldnt anno me so much.

My daughter attended mother and toddlers groups, then she went to playschool two morning a week which gradually increased to four, she then started part time school which then became full time school so she spent plenty of time with other children and is a well adjusted litle girl who is enjoying school immensely, but I will be honest and say that there is no way on this earth that i would hane her over to a childminder or nursery as i just dont trust them one little bit, most SAHM do not keep their kids locked in all day watching TV, there can be just as much interaction without having to go to nursery.

Rachie_B

<sigh> same old !!!!!! different day

god the amount of SAHM / working mum "debates" ive seen in the months since i joined here !

motherof1 glad you managed to find childcare and hope your little one settles ok