Nursery Problem---Please advise

Janepig

I've been thinking about this since I read it earlier - couldn't think of an adequate reply earlier. My DD is in the last month of being at a day nursery before starting school and DS is going there next month. I've never seen anything like you described but that doesn't mean it doesn't go on, I just hope it doesn't and my gut feeling tells me that the staff there are fine. When DD was in the baby room she went through a phase of biting and whenever I picked her up and she'd bitten another child during the day I'd always be told - although I don't know what I was supposed to do about it, she was too young to be told off hours after the event. She was also bitten once herself which was pointed out to me as soon as I collected her, but I wasn't told which child did it - rightly enough. Anyway, my point being I've always been happy with DD being where she is, and I've always said to DH that if I thought for one minute that she was being mistreated or was miserable then I would take her from there straight away - my job isn't worth putting her somewhere awful. Also one of the reasons I chose a day nursery rather than childminder is because I hope that if there was mistreatment then one of the other staff could speak up whereas if a childminder was mistreating a child then no-one would know. Obviously acknowledging that the vast majority of childminders would never harm a child. And I also agree with the post that mentioned the low pay. Most of the staff where DD is do a fantastic job, and for an absolute pittance.

Jxx

Dormouse

johnlizzy wrote:

One particularly nasty group of teenage girls used to play a version of bowling, scoring points with how many children could be knocked over by throwing balls or teddies at them.

:eek: :eek: :eek: That's really shocking. :mad:

Oh no, my little boy's about to start nursery and I really shouldn't have started reading this thread...

amanda40

I have had my chid at both a private nursery and a council one I would plump for council evry time. The staff there were a more varied age group, a few had kids of their own, were fully trained nursery nurses with first aid training and were more interested in childs welfare. Private nursery was staffed by mostley 17/18 years old, who were just passing time. Very few were trained and only one had first aid cert. They spent their day watching wedding videos, looking at each others holiday snaps, while the kids just got on with it! The council one was more structures and more like a nursery than the private creche.

misty

I would complain to Ofsted as well as the nursery manager. They inspect nurseries as well schools and colleges. They have to act on every complaint - and this will have more impact on the nursery and how it is run and managed. I would not be happy simply to request your child did not go in that class - what if your child remained in another class and their assistant was off and this assistant covered their class? it happens. They must have policies in place for disciplining children - ask to see them.

Nurseries are notorious low paid - and they can exploit young (usually) girls -that's not to say that some of them aren't really motivated and good with the kids.

Complain. Also - You can request from Ofsted details of any other complaints made against the nursery - they will reply within a certain amount of time - and you could see if there is any pattern or any other serious complaints - again see their website.

http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/publications/index.cfm?fuseaction=pubs.displayfile&id=2841&type=pdf

dora37

Just to reassure.....DD will be leaving a private nursery next week to start school full time in September. She has attended part time for nearly 3 years.

The reason I picked this nursery was down to gut feeling, I didn't look at any OFSTED reports at any of the nurseries I checked out, just used instinct...it had such a lovely atmosphere and the staff had a great balance of elder ladies, mums and younger girls.

In the 3 years, there has not been a high turnover of staff, which has added to the sense of community...yet it is a private nursery.

They had their 'leavers disco' a couple of weeks ago - the nursery laid on a huge buffet, disco and entertainer. The children all received a personalised engraved medal with their name and the nursery and the date, a certificate and a gardening pack and it was all free!

You can get good private nurseries....just some research required and more importantly trust your instinct!

conradmum

If I had witnessed this at my son's nursery I would have removed him there and then. I recently changed his nursery because I found out how badly the staff were treated, even though I few complaints about my son's care. If you can't trust in your children's care 100%, you can't have any peace of mind, can you? I'd always be wondering what was being said/done to him.
My advice is to move nurseries - now. Complain if you want to, but surely your priority has to be your confidence in the standard of care? And now that's been shaken.

Janepig

dora37 wrote:

Just to reassure.....DD will be leaving a private nursery next week to start school full time in September. She has attended part time for nearly 3 years.

The reason I picked this nursery was down to gut feeling, I didn't look at any OFSTED reports at any of the nurseries I checked out, just used instinct...it had such a lovely atmosphere and the staff had a great balance of elder ladies, mums and younger girls.

In the 3 years, there has not been a high turnover of staff, which has added to the sense of community...yet it is a private nursery.

They had their 'leavers disco' a couple of weeks ago - the nursery laid on a huge buffet, disco and entertainer. The children all received a personalised engraved medal with their name and the nursery and the date, a certificate and a gardening pack and it was all free!

You can get good private nurseries....just some research required and more importantly trust your instinct!

Thanks for that - my feeling about my daughter's nursery was exactly that - my gut instinct was that it was/is a good place. However, everytime I read anything negative about nurseries it just shakes my confidence a little bit, and with DS going there next month (DD starts school then) I'm really worried this time round, don't ask me why. Luckily DH is taking him on his first three days otherwise they would literally have to tear him off me, which is stupid because I know the staff and they are all amazing, he's been in there afew times when I've picked DD up and they all make such a fuss of him and were really excited when he was born etc....

Jxx

tigertiger_3

omg! I am amazed by some of the posts here! While we are at work we want to know that our children are being looked after and cared for...not being shouted at and humiliated! Im lucky my family looks after ours for us to work, although nursery does have lots of advantages. I know not all nurseries have these unfortunate attitudes thank heavens!!
I hope everything works out for those of you in these circumstances and would advise anyone not to tolerate this kind of behaviour and report it to everyone that will listen including Ofsted xx tt

ooobedoo

I know this is a really old thread but I thought I would offer my thoughts. My son went to nursery from 6 months old, we went round and found the environment really nice and calming, small but run like a family. The manager tells you when your child has been a little ****, also when they have been good.

He was in the same nursery till the owner/manager left to work somewhere else, new people where completely shocking, I didn't want to leave him but I didn't want to disrupt him either. In the end I had a phone call from one of the other mum's, she had rang the bell, no answer and tried the door and it was open and my son was on his own in the foyer with a door not locked. I was livid, she had shouted at my friends daughter so we took the kids out that day, took them to the the old manager and knew instantly that I would be happy not only with the manager who had looked after myh son and my friends daughter. It took ages for him to settle down after the new providers had been so crap basically. If you think it's wrong then it probabley is.

He is so much happier and I know he is safe knowing the managers way of doing things.

Motherof1

UPDATE:

Since I posted this thread we let our daughter finish her time in the toddler class. I spoke to Ofsted and they have now changed the way they do things...before you could complain direct but now you have to give a written complaint to the nursery and they are required to respond in writing. I did this but was still not satisfied with the response. We were lucky that her grandmother was visiting from South Africa for 3 weeks so she was able to look after her. We found a new nursery which has webcams as well. So while at work I will be able to see what she's doing and how the staff are etc. She starts there on Monday and I hope everything will be okay. I phoned her previous nursery and said that she wont be coming back but they are saying that I signed a contract which requires 1 months notice in writing. Yes that would be fine but given this problem I said I wasn't going to put her at risk in the pre-school class! They will probably try to persue me for the months fees but until then.....I am concentrating on settling her into the new one. Incidentally the manager at the new one told me that two more staff from the baby room at the other nursery are also leaving! Says something doesn't it.

Thanks again for all your advice....I would have preferred not to upset her surroundings by moving her (just as ooobedoo). To be honest I can't believe they are allowed to stay open with the amount of complaints against them and for the very reason they failed there Ofsted report in every area!

Cheers