I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

White_Sapphire

We got a few engagement gifts, but they weren't solicited at all. The majority of people didn't get us anything and I don't think any the less of them for it. If you genuinely want to get a couple an engagement present then fine but I think it's incredibly rude for a couple to expect them, as though it's some sort of payment for being invited to the engagement party.

Swinstie73

laurarobby wrote: »

engagment gifts???? we had card but only about 3 and no gifts... i didnt no you would get them. weve never bought any for anyone either. we planned to have a party but i got pregnant instead lol... just give them a card why are you expected to get a engagement gift... and no doubt a wedding gift. x

I know, we never expected any gifts for our engagement, the few ones we did get were from my mum and sisters, was quite embarrassed getting them as we didn't get engaged just to get presents. Think I was more annoyed at her asking me as she had yet to even say congratulations to us, I'd have been happy with the acknowledgement.

We'll probably end up getting vouchers or something, wouldn't want to be talked about

ellay864

I've never really got the whole engagement gift thing...didn't get any (on either engagement!) and wouldnt have expected them. We didn't do party either, but even when I've been to engagement parties it's not usually been expected to get pressies, though I'd always take a bottle of something anyway. The one that stood out for me was when a guy I worked with came into work towards the end of October and saidthat him and his gf were getting engaged at the end of December...to me that seemed odd, once one has proposed and the other has said yes, doesn't that mean you're engaged to be married? Another colleague also commented on that and he said that yes he had propsed etc but they were going to properly get engaged in December for her birthday and for the party...and it was made very clear that gifts were expected from those who were fortunate enough to be invited (I wasn't, didn't cry too much over it!)
I don't expect wedding gifts though I know some people will want to get us something and that's fine if they want to...but I think I'd have also been a bit embarrassed to get engagement ones tbh

White_Sapphire

I really don't understand the "we're planning to get engaged" thing either! Either you've decided to marry, in which case you're engaged (whether there's a ring and a romantic proposal story or not), or you have not. The engagement is not the big event! We did have an engagement party, but it was a fairly casual do for friends, a lot of whom we don't see that often, to meet each other, and we both enjoy parties! We certainly did not expect presents from anyone.

laura2481

I am a Bridezilla and my confession is... I just had to hold back from throtteling my h2be as just now, when I said we need to pick what readings we are having and who to ask to read them, he said we had never decided to have readings. This is when we have had the conversation at least twice already! And now he is saying all reading sound trite and naff. aaaargh!

twirlypinky

We didn't get engagement presents and didn't expect any. I have to say, the whole idea irritates me a little bit. We've been invited to an engagement party and i'm sure we're expected to bring a gift, but i can't help but think, er hello, we're also engaged, where's our gift?

nykied

When I was in the shop picking out my ring, the girl serving me asked if we were having a party. I was like, 'An egagement party?'. When she replied yes, I said (incredulously) that people don't have those any more.

victoriamarie

I'm a bridezilla and my confessions are:

I deliberately wanted my wedding to be before OH's best friends. Not because I wanted to "get there first" but because our budget is less than half of theirs and I didn't want to worry about any part of my wedding being inferior beforehand.

Feel terrible saying this one - every time a couple split up (where we didn't know the other half very well) we are secretly relieved that it's one less person to pay for.


And my current rants:

Why does everyone suddenly think it's acceptable to mention my weight and what I can and can't eat, just because I'm getting married? Apart from a short period 8 years ago where I lived off Macdonalds and vodka for 3 months I have never been over a size 10, so how will the odd pizza and cake now make me look fat in my (already too big) wedding dress?

My MOH - chose her because we have been best friends since childhood. She isn't girly in the slightest, hasn't a clue about weddings and has basically done nothing to help. I am even planning my own hen do! I have spoken to her about this and she said she feels awful about it and wants to help out but I feel like it is always me who initiates everything. My wedding is 4 months away and I know if I didn't organise anything with her during that time she would never mention it again.

Swinstie73

Oh don't even get me started on weight! My family and OH are fine about my weight although I do want to lose a few pounds for myself but people at work are always making comments, infact one right now has shouted over that I've no willpower because I'm eating a scone, !!!!!! has it got to do with them what I'm eating. Eating it because forgot some of my lunch so having my usual morning porridge for lunch instead, oh yeah and same here was max 9 stone up until a few years ago, so what if I'm now 10 stone, I'm 37 now not 17, argh! OK so that was more of a weight than wedding rant, but I'm on a roll.

White_Sapphire

victoriamarie wrote: »

I'm a bridezilla and my confessions are:

I deliberately wanted my wedding to be before OH's best friends. Not because I wanted to "get there first" but because our budget is less than half of theirs and I didn't want to worry about any part of my wedding being inferior beforehand.


Feel terrible saying this one - every time a couple split up (where we didn't know the other half very well) we are secretly relieved that it's one less person to pay for.


And my current rants:

Why does everyone suddenly think it's acceptable to mention my weight and what I can and can't eat, just because I'm getting married? Apart from a short period 8 years ago where I lived off Macdonalds and vodka for 3 months I have never been over a size 10, so how will the odd pizza and cake now make me look fat in my (already too big) wedding dress?

My MOH - chose her because we have been best friends since childhood. She isn't girly in the slightest, hasn't a clue about weddings and has basically done nothing to help. I am even planning my own hen do! I have spoken to her about this and she said she feels awful about it and wants to help out but I feel like it is always me who initiates everything. My wedding is 4 months away and I know if I didn't organise anything with her during that time she would never mention it again.

I would love it if mine and H2B's wedding could be before his sister's, but there's no way it's going to happen!! No idea what their budget is but suffice to say that they both have very good jobs and I'm a student who works part-time in a shop on minimum wage

That is breathtakingly rude of people to make comments about what you're eating! I'd probably say exactly what you asked at the beginning of that paragraph, loudly, to the world at large. Or if we were alone, ask them directly, looking them straight in the eye. If that doesn't shame them nothing will.

Re your MOH - if she doesn't know anything about weddings and what is expected of her then give her a list of specific tasks to do. She clearly wants to help but is worried she will get something wrong!

x