I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Brighton_belle

BugglyB wrote: »

Oh good for you jtr. Your oh sounds lovely and I think in time you will reap the benefits for your great attitude towards him. You know any time you need to vent you can come on here

^^^this. Really happy for you jtr how this crisis is panning out and that you have both reaffirmed your love for each other, and he has assured you he does want to marry you:j:j. Your understanding and his apreciation of that will just increase you bond in the end.
I'm so excited that you are bringing your wedding forward!:D I am sure there are a number of us on here who will cheering extra loud on your day:T.

MrsDrink

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I am sure there are a number of us on here who will cheering extra loud on your day:T.

Most definitely!! And lots of real life raising of glasses at the time of your ceremony from us lot

heartbreak_star

Woah! I've missed a lot while I was away!

Jtr, just had a look through your posts - I'm glad your crisis is sorting out and the support you've had here was immense!

Those of you whos OH's are having female best men - really, just chill. I was a best man for a male friend, and was engaged to him before he met his current wife. I did occasionally tease her a little, but in good humour as we got on well, and sometimes she would call me to rant about him as she knew I would understand. I would NEVER have mentioned our past in my speech, that's just rude, and managed to gloss over it by explaining we met at uni and it's all a drunken blur. Believe me, she'll be bricking it even more than a male best man would - try to get to know her rather than grumbling maybe? And whichever one of you ladies wouldn't let her on the stag night...shame on you, especially if you wouldn't invite her on your hen do, as I think a previous thread of mine bluntly stated.

The best man is bound by a set of unspoken rules, especially about the speech - if there is a past, it won't be mentioned in the same way that (for example) the groom's habit of teabagging his drunken mates wouldn't be. All will be well, and if it isn't, hell it's only a joke, don't let it ruin your day.

Good luck for all your weddings - promise you the best man speech jokes will just be of the "he's a silly git isn't he" ilk

HBS x

stir_crazy

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Those of you whos OH's are having female best men - really, just chill. I was a best man for a male friend, and was engaged to him before he met his current wife. I did occasionally tease her a little, but in good humour as we got on well, and sometimes she would call me to rant about him as she knew I would understand. I would NEVER have mentioned our past in my speech, that's just rude, and managed to gloss over it by explaining we met at uni and it's all a drunken blur. Believe me, she'll be bricking it even more than a male best man would - try to get to know her rather than grumbling maybe? And whichever one of you ladies wouldn't let her on the stag night...shame on you, especially if you wouldn't invite her on your hen do, as I think a previous thread of mine bluntly stated.

Maybe I am closed minded enough to feel relief when my OH turned down his friends request to go on the stag do. However, you dont know me personally or know my circumstances, only those that I chose to share on this forum. So to say "shame on me" is being extremely patronising. You're entitled to an opinion on this forum, not an insult.

You say about being a best man for a man you were once engaged to, and how there are unwritten rules to being best men. Is one of them lying about how you met? Surely his family and wife must have thought it was a bit strange that you had to gloss over the fact that you had an intimate relationship with him before he got married (however long before).

Oh and just to add - teasing the new girlfriend just isn't cool.

heartbreak_star

I got to know her well before I even mentioned our past despite the fact he occasionally cracked jokes about it, and if she'd been in any way offended I would have stopped, believe me - it was more "jeez, you do well to put up with him, I never could" kind of thing. It was actually his now-wife that suggested me as best man.

I just think it's a bit mean to stop his close friend from going on the stag do. Especially (and correct me if I'm wrong) if you wouldn't invite her to the hen do. However, I think we discussed our relative opinions on that to death on my stag-do thread.

I never lied about how we met. I said we met at university, which was completely true - we met through an internet talker and were mates for a long time before we got together. I explained all of this in my speech. ("I met X at uni, and we've pretty much annoyed each other ever since." is a brief quote from it) Those who knew we were together knew, those who didn't had no real reason to as we had been split up for a good 12 years before he wed.

Do you have trouble accepting your OH is friends with women, and his ex-girlfriends in particular? It's just you appear very hostile!

And also, just to add - maybe my "shame on you" was a bit harsh...but so is implying I lied at one of the few moments in my life where I felt valued and honoured. Thanks.

Some women (men, not so much in my experience) seem to be very against changing traditions when it comes to weddings. It bemuses me.

HBS x

heartbreak_star

Okay, lunch and chill time.

I hope all your Bridezilla moments work out for the best and your weddings go beautifully. Jtr - keep us posted

HBS x

stir_crazy

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I just think it's a bit mean to stop his close friend from going on the stag do. Especially (and correct me if I'm wrong) if you wouldn't invite her to the hen do. However, I think we discussed our relative opinions on that to death on my stag-do thread.

Do you have trouble accepting your OH is friends with women, and his ex-girlfriends in particular? It's just you appear very hostile!

And also, just to add - maybe my "shame on you" was a bit harsh...but so is implying I lied at one of the moments in my life where I felt valued and honoured. Thanks.

Some women (men, not so much in my experience) seem to be very against changing traditions when it comes to weddings. It bemuses me.

HBS x

It was my OH who stopped her going, as he is quite tradtional- the first I knew of it was when he phoned me to tell me about it. I just said that I felt relief and that I would have had a word if he had considered letting her go. This is because I feel that stag do's are for men, and hen do's are for women. Not PC I grant you, but it is tradition.

As for appearing hostile - a perceived insult will tend to get my back up. I apologise for saying that you lied, although that is the way that it came across to me when you said you had to gloss over the way you met.

I have no problem with my OH being friends with women. We have many mutual friends of both sexes. I do have a problem if his ex girlfriend decides to flaunt it in my face that she's been there before me. In my mind, his past is his past, it should stay that way.

I fail to see why you should be bemused. Some people like tradition.

heartbreak_star

Flaunting it is a bit rubbish, to be honest. There's no need for it - if I was you I'd assume she's jealous

I did wonder if you'd had a word to make her not go on the stag do, but if it was his choice then that certainly works!

Apology totally accepted Right, I am actually going for my lunch now *chuckles*

HBS x

moreofthegoodstuff

Has anyone been luckily enough to have day guests invite other people on your behalf? I'm getting really annoyed with this! My fianc!'s brother has taken it apon himself to invite his girlfriend to our wedding without asking and has been really funny with us because we won't change the seating plan so she can come in the day (we have said she can come to the night do!) his brother is trying to make us feel bad but really it's his problem; clearly he has invited her and now doesn't know how to tell her she isn't invited to the whole thing. I don't mind but during the wedding planning he has asked us about invitations for three different girls!!! It's not a party, why should someone who has only been around for a month on and off come to a sit down meal!!

jtr2803

Just a little update from me for all those who read through my saga!

The photographer has replied and is perfectly happy to change our booking with no charges so that's more good news. I called the registry office this morning to see what times they had and the answer was - all of them :j. I thought I would lose the £20 booking fee but she said if one of us goes in in person with some ID they can change it then for free so as it stands, we won't lose anything .

The only person who hasn't come back to me is the hair and make up lady but I haven't paid her a deposit and if she can't do it there are plenty of others. Have text OH and told him and asked what he thinks so hopefully we will make a concrete decision fairly soon. OH told his mum of our new plans last night and she said as long as she gets an invite she is happy, phew.