I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Enchantica

Swinstie73 wrote: »

Hi all,

I've had a few minor bridezilla moments but as the wedding is getting nearer (3 weeks tomorrow), I've had a major one. Out of the 120 people invited in the evening (we over-invited by 20 incase some didn't come), 23 are coming, 21 aren't coming (and probably more to boot) and 76 haven't even bothered to reply!!! The rsvp date is tomorrow, I know I should've put an earlier date but even putting my phone number and address on the invite hasn't made anyone reply.

The bus I was hiring has been changed from a 49 (the biggest but cheapest I could get) to a 33 seater already and I'm changing it to a 24 seater on Monday. Maybe will only need a taxi at this rate.

Also, my mum met one of my cousins who made out she was coming but then sent a regret - all because no doubt, her precious son and daughter weren't invited - as were other second cousins. Out of the 60 I had to invite, 30 were family, what do they think I had no-one else to invite. Wish we had ran away as planned. And breathe......

That's awful that 76 haven't bothered to reply Swinstie!! I think that's really really rude.

Hadley1

BLUis wrote: »

Not a bridezilla moment, but no where else to rant.

Get OUT of my office and stop pestering me. you stupid, stupid c0w.

I hate you, I have talked to ACAS about you and I am seriously thinking about bashing your head in with your new printer.

SO much better!!!

Hey

As long as you feel better - sweetie.

I have those sorts of days. Hope today is better.

SoyaBunny

I have a mumzilla, does that count?

My finacee and i got engaged just this year
2 months after the engagement my mother threw a tantrum at my OH (poor OH - a most mild mannered lovely man) and accused us of excluding her from our wedding plans despite the fact that they were actually non existent at the time, she had been away on holiday for a month, and we had no date, had no idea of a venue, and the only thing we did was do a bit of wedding dress shopping to see what was out there (and she was there everytime!). She than decided she would not attend my wedding due to this much to my dismay and refused to talk to us for a month.
We reconciled but now it feels like I'm walking on egg shells and everytime she's not happy with anything she shouts and upsets me quite a lot. She's even had a go at me regarding who i've chosen for my bridesmaids or even the fact that I'm paying for their dresses, which should not matter to her as although she had originally given me money towards the wedding, she then decided she wanted it back!

Thank God my OH's family are wonderful and supportive, but with how my mum is it feels like I can't include my MIL as much as I would like to (as when I included my MIL when I went wedding dress shopping twice, my mother got angry and said it encroached on her time with me).

I asked my mum the other day "You keep saying you weren't involved in the wedding planning, what is it that you didn't do that you have liked to have done?"
Her reply was "I don't know."

::sigh::

White_Sapphire

SoyaBunny wrote: »

I have a mumzilla, does that count?

My finacee and i got engaged just this year
2 months after the engagement my mother threw a tantrum at my OH (poor OH - a most mild mannered lovely man) and accused us of excluding her from our wedding plans despite the fact that they were actually non existent at the time, she had been away on holiday for a month, and we had no date, had no idea of a venue, and the only thing we did was do a bit of wedding dress shopping to see what was out there (and she was there everytime!). She than decided she would not attend my wedding due to this much to my dismay and refused to talk to us for a month.
We reconciled but now it feels like I'm walking on egg shells and everytime she's not happy with anything she shouts and upsets me quite a lot. She's even had a go at me regarding who i've chosen for my bridesmaids or even the fact that I'm paying for their dresses, which should not matter to her as although she had originally given me money towards the wedding, she then decided she wanted it back!

Thank God my OH's family are wonderful and supportive, but with how my mum is it feels like I can't include my MIL as much as I would like to (as when I included my MIL when I went wedding dress shopping twice, my mother got angry and said it encroached on her time with me).

I asked my mum the other day "You keep saying you weren't involved in the wedding planning, what is it that you didn't do that you have liked to have done?"
Her reply was "I don't know."

::sigh::

Oh hun, I'm so sorry that your mum is being so unreasonable. I haven't got any advice to offer, but I know from reading this forum (and this thread in particular) that you're not alone in having to deal with difficult relatives.

Weddings can bring out the worst in people, as well as the best.

x

spanishmagpies

SoyaBunny wrote: »

I have a mumzilla, does that count?

My finacee and i got engaged just this year
2 months after the engagement my mother threw a tantrum at my OH (poor OH - a most mild mannered lovely man) and accused us of excluding her from our wedding plans despite the fact that they were actually non existent at the time, she had been away on holiday for a month, and we had no date, had no idea of a venue, and the only thing we did was do a bit of wedding dress shopping to see what was out there (and she was there everytime!). She than decided she would not attend my wedding due to this much to my dismay and refused to talk to us for a month.
We reconciled but now it feels like I'm walking on egg shells and everytime she's not happy with anything she shouts and upsets me quite a lot. She's even had a go at me regarding who i've chosen for my bridesmaids or even the fact that I'm paying for their dresses, which should not matter to her as although she had originally given me money towards the wedding, she then decided she wanted it back!

Thank God my OH's family are wonderful and supportive, but with how my mum is it feels like I can't include my MIL as much as I would like to (as when I included my MIL when I went wedding dress shopping twice, my mother got angry and said it encroached on her time with me).

I asked my mum the other day "You keep saying you weren't involved in the wedding planning, what is it that you didn't do that you have liked to have done?"
Her reply was "I don't know."

::sigh::

I feel so sorry for you....you have a year to go and this should be a joyous time for you. You sound very considerate. However, I think to save more pain and upset in the longer term you need to sit down with your mum and a real heart to heart, tears and everything...anger shown if need be. Tell her she is making you very unhappy and that this can't go on. She will cause problems with you and your OH and you risk upsetting your mother in law who has done nothing wrong. Ask her if there is one thing in particular that she would like to be involved in planning and then restrict her to that.

I think she has had a bit of a tantrum and needs controlled like a child does. Maybe she doesn't know what the boundaries are. Everyone knows that children are happier with boundaries and perhaps you need to take over the role of adult here.

I hope that helps

TamVilla80

I've been married for 2 weeks now, can I still have a bridezilla rant?

As some of you may already now, I was supposed to be getting married in June but postponed it 2 weeks before as my dad was poorly. Unfortunatly he passed away in June and I was utterly heartbroken. We had a few problems with suppliers so had to rebook the wedding before we lost any more money, but ultimately I was dreading getting married without my lovely dad to give me away. We decided the only way I was going to be able to do it was to change it, I only wanted to have very close family there as I couldnt face all those people there when my dad wasnt. Everyone understood this completely and was lovely about it, except my supposedly best friend / bridesmaid. I should also explain that after my dad died, she was the most unhelpful friend possible, just text me random texts about the funeral next door to her 2 days after my dad died and was the only friend who didnt send me or mum cards or flowers. There is more than that, but its too long to go in to.
The date we had picked for the wedding was the day she was returning from holiday (we had a choice of 2 dates and the other one she was away for) but as she was getting home at lunchtime, I thought she would turn up for the evening part which everyone was of course invited to. Wedding day happened, it was a hard day especially for me and my mum, but we had a brilliant day and I'm so glad to have married the man that my dad approved of and who has been an absolute rock for me over the last 5 months. No sign of friend on the day but whatever, we had a lovely day with our nearest and dearest that did turn up. A week later she text me to say she didnt turn up because she was knackered after her holiday and then 2 days after that she turns up at the door with an unwrapped present that still has the date of my first wedding on (the one I didnt have because my dad died). Tbh I couldnt bring myself to say thank you (which is probably a bit childish on my behalf, but would anyone else say thank you for a late unwrapped present with the wrong date?) so didnt text her for a few days. Yesterday morning she text to say that she feels like I've got the hump with her because she has done something wrong, she doesnt know what but she is sorry. So, after agonising all day, I sent her an email saying how her lack of support since my dad died was hurtful considering how I always listened to her problems, how not even making the efffort to come to our wedding was noticed, and how an unwrapped present with the wrong date on was not really appreciated.

She has completely just gone mental saying how I didnt make her feel welcome after my dad died - sorry, spend most days heartbroken and crying on the sofa after my beloved dad died, I was a bit preoccupied with my heart breaking and mourning to even notice what day it was, never mind worrying about what anyone else was doing! I can appreciate it is difficult to know what to say to people after they have lost someone, but everyone else managed it. Then, how she felt unwelcome if she had come to the wedding as everyone would be looking at her 'the demoted bridesmaid who was now just a guest' - it was our wedding day, most people wouldnt even know who she was and it was our wedding day, I would like to think that everyone would be looking at us! and how dare she say 'just a guest' - no one was just a number at our wedding, we had people that we wanted to share our day with.

I've spend hours listening to her moan about her silly work and lack of boyfriend problems, and when I have one problem (my dad dying, quite a major problem), she was no help whatsoever and has managed to make the whole thing about her. I've suddenly realised with amazing hindsight just how selfish she can be, which is a shame as she can be a lovely person, but it feels like she only wanted to be my friend when it suited her. My dad passing away has made me realise just how precious life is, and I would rather devote my time and energy to my friends and family who want to have a grown up relationship.

Grr rant over - thanks for the therapy!

TamVilla80

Sorry, just realised how long that was!

MaggieBaking

Urgh, what a horror she is. I'm sorry, but her present just takes the cake!! What was it out of interest?

If it were me I'd just send her an email saying that you don't wish to argue any more and that you want to quieten down things with her till time has healed you a little bit. Whether or not you pick up contact with her again you can decide later.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, but I'm sure he was there with you on the day regardless I hope you had a lovely time and congratulations on your newly wed status!!

TamVilla80

Thanks Maggie x The last message I sent her was the I didnt want to get into an arguement and that we should just leave it for now and see how we go. At the moment, to be honest, I couldnt be bothered if I don't. The last few months have shown my real friends and I would rather spend any spare time I have with them instead. The present was a picture of a camper van (we had one for the wedding) with the date on the number plate. It would actually have been a nice present if it wasnt for the fact that everytime I look at it it reminds me of the wedding we never had!

Me and my brother had a pear cider on the day for my dad, and mum took a locket with my dads picture in, so he was there with us It was hard to think that he should have been there to give me away but we still had a brilliant day (although a bit sad) and we are enjoying being Mr & Mrs at last x

MaggieBaking

I'll be honest with you, I'd have binned the present! The pear cider sounds yummy, and the locket was a lovely touch