Tough Love.....

Molly41

Oh about 15 miles ! He has literally just texted me for a lift.....oh and he also said he is going to college tomorrow....:T:T:T

jellyhead

jamespir wrote: »

so the only reason she was forcing him to go to college and is now punishing him because he chose to get a job is to fill her own pockets :mad::mad::mad:

Unfair, as others have pointed out.

also, she wouldn't continue getting money for him anyway. The academic year is almost over, and if he went to uni he'd be sorting himself out, she wouldn't get child benefit etc. anyway.

If I understood correctly he is almost at the end of a course, so naturally a parent would be upset if the child drops out. Education is important and gives people more options.

She only mentioned the money as a reason why she HAS to ask him for board money and why she cannot fund his travel for him.

She thinks that this particular job isn't do-able, and it's the easter holidays so there's still time to get her son back into education if that is the choice he eventually makes.

carolan78

Molly41 wrote: »

Oh about 15 miles ! He has literally just texted me for a lift.....oh and he also said he is going to college tomorrow....:T:T:T

That's great news seems the tough love worked :j

Molly41

Yes hopefully. Thanks for all your comments and wise words - its been a tough few days!

jellyhead

or maybe he got the sack

Molly41

He said it was his last shift. He was honest with them and said that he had not thought it through. He also didnt tell them he had to have two weeks off as he having a knee op on Thursday. Im going to help him find part-time to fit in with college. Oh its hard this mothering - I thought it would get easier as they got older :eek: (oh and I have organised a lift for him)!!!!!

jellyhead

only joking

my son's not diagnosed yet but was statemented for primary and has been 'different' from birth. It's hard to know how to support them without making them rely on you for support too much. I've been talking to teachers at high school recently about it - how much responsibility should he be taking for his own bag, homework etc. and how much of his organisation should I be helping him with. ho hum ...

We've just had a row about his homework that's 3 weeks late. He's had detention today and will do every day until it's handed in, yet it's my fault because I'm 'stupid' for thinking that homework matters and it's my fault that he's angry at me, because I am trying to 'ruin his life' by suggesting that his friend lends him the worksheets he needs - because 'obviously' the 30 second walk to his friends house is 'impossible', and i'm just 'dumb' for thinking that the homework needs doing...... and relax .... lol!

oystercatcher

Molly41 wrote: »

Oh about 15 miles ! He has literally just texted me for a lift.....oh and he also said he is going to college tomorrow....:T:T:T

Is that so he can have a rest instead of working ?

My 20 year old now laughs and tells me I was right when I told him he'd miss being at school !

Molly41

jellyhead wrote: »

only joking

my son's not diagnosed yet but was statemented for primary and has been 'different' from birth. It's hard to know how to support them without making them rely on you for support too much. I've been talking to teachers at high school recently about it - how much responsibility should he be taking for his own bag, homework etc. and how much of his organisation should I be helping him with. ho hum ...

We've just had a row about his homework that's 3 weeks late. He's had detention today and will do every day until it's handed in, yet it's my fault because I'm 'stupid' for thinking that homework matters and it's my fault that he's angry at me, because I am trying to 'ruin his life' by suggesting that his friend lends him the worksheets he needs - because 'obviously' the 30 second walk to his friends house is 'impossible', and i'm just 'dumb' for thinking that the homework needs doing...... and relax .... lol!

I think you have to help them organise themselves and learn the skills but its not easy teaching them. It took my son 12 years to learn to do his duvet for example. I used to think he was just being awkward but he wasn't. There are a couple of posts earlier by Mazinmouse which has given me real insight and might help you too. x

jellyhead

I've been reading some of the comments on this thread and thinking it could be me you're talking about. Over the past year I've diagnosed myself with dyspraxia, ADD and autism just by reading this forum lol!

My son was assessed for ADHD at 6 and was borderline, but didn't really need a diagnosis. At the time I thought he would be diagnosed with dyspraxia, aspergers or both, as did the speech therapist, occupational therapist, behaviour psychologist, school SENCO etc.

Without a diagnosis it feels even harder to find that fine line between helping and babying him. But then, I suppose it's different for everyone, as shown by the differing opinions in your thread