Tough Love.....

jamespir

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

The OP will have lost Child Benefit and Child tax Credit when he left education.

so the only reason she was forcing him to go to college and is now punishing him because he chose to get a job is to fill her own pockets :mad::mad::mad:

i don't see why you could not have helped on his first day unless you were secretly hoping he would get the sack and then you'd persuade him to go back to college

Molly41

I absolutely reject that criticism. I did not force my son to go to college - it was his choice. I have supported him unconditionally and just feel that he will narrow his options. I happen to think education is the way forward, particularly for him with his problems. What a horrid judgemental person you are. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Molly41

Well we spent a couple of hours in discussions and planning his journey and I have given him the bus times and train times all printed out on a spreadsheet. There are some days that he cant get home as the last train and bus have left before he finishes. I cant go and collect him that late at night so not sure what will happen. I have given him the money for his train fare and bus fare (£15) a day. Im trying to support him as best I can!

pusscat

How about helping him to pay for his CBT/few lessons and getting him a scooter?

That way he has far less planning to do - he just has to learn the route.

Learning to ride gives teens a great sense of pride, maturity and independance - might be worth a look!

Puss
xx

If you live in an area that is covered by "Wheels to work" schemes then give them a call. This is North Yorkshires, but there are quite a few - just google. http://www.wheels2work.co.uk/

jamespir

Molly41 wrote: »

I absolutely reject that criticism. I did not force my son to go to college - it was his choice. I have supported him unconditionally and just feel that he will narrow his options. I happen to think education is the way forward, particularly for him with his problems. What a horrid judgemental person you are. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

so you dont need to worry bout the 100 pounds you claim to have lost then

fair enough if you think im judgmental (im not ) but youre the one who mentioned ive lost 100 pounds

elona

The money coming into the house has gone down by £100 a month and she is continuing to feed, clothe him , put a roof over his head, provide heating , electricity, laundry service etc and is paying £15 a day for transport for him.

That's £75 a week and £300 a month - together with the £100 a month no longer coming in - a grand total of £400 for her to provide.

If jamespir had to find a £100 a week extra because of someone else's decision, I think he might be disconcerted too.

Molly41

Many thanks Elona for spelling it out for Jamespir. It really upsets me that someone could think Im just money grabbing - but i guess its the way his mind works x

oystercatcher

Hi Molly,
My two youngest boys chose to go to sixth form at a school which was a few miles away and we got them mopeds. It made a huge difference to my life that they were independent.
One of them has dyspraxia and it took him three tries to pass the CBT (all included in the original £100 fee) I was really pleased that they refused to pass him until they felt he was safe. It has given him a huge sense of achievement too.
I'm not sure if you think his ADD may make him too impulsive and dangerous on a motorbike but it's worth considering and then after working for a while he may be able to afford to learn to drive.

I was disappointed my eldest didn't chose to go to uni but in fact he is really happy working and this was definitely the right choice for him.
There's loads of time for them to go back to education if they feel they want to later and if it's their choice they are more likely to work hard and do well.

Hugs

Molly41

Hi Oystercatcher,
Lovely to hear from you and hope you are doing ok! He has such a poor attention span that I think a scooter might not be the best option. He has put off learning to drive so many times and has said that it frightens him - which is a relief in many respects cos he has some insight and I would hate for him to be on of those horrific statistics! Im hoping he will learn to drive when he feels mature enough to cope with the demands of the road. Im sure things will pan out but its been a roller-coaster of a weekend!

jamespir

elona wrote: »

The money coming into the house has gone down by £100 a month and she is continuing to feed, clothe him , put a roof over his head, provide heating , electricity, laundry service etc and is paying £15 a day for transport for him.

That's £75 a week and £300 a month - together with the £100 a month no longer coming in - a grand total of £400 for her to provide.

If jamespir had to find a £100 a week extra because of someone else's decision, I think he might be disconcerted too.

but its only till he gets his wage she doesn't have to feed him or clothe him though hes old enough to work that one out himself

but the rest of the stuff theyd be paying for anyway whethere he was there or not or dont they use electricity when he's out or have the heaters on