Inappropriate behaviour from a child in dd's class. How would you feel?

vaio

thatgirlsam wrote: »

i have a horrible feeling even at 45 they find it funny .. i have had my head trapped under the duvet while a fully grown man blows off.........

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

The answer is to stay away from hotels that have male chambermaids

thatgirlsam

the fascination with the penis is something a male never grows out of !

bertiebots

jamespir wrote: »

dont be silly my childs five and hes not being abused and hes shown his willy to some girls + boys it's what kids do

although i have told him off and he hasnt done it again

I dont think anyone is being silly to mention sexual abuse as a cause for inappropriate behaviour because it does happen. The most likely cause is that he is just being a daft little boy and for his sake lets hope that is all it is (but the fact that he is touching is a red flag.)

Having 2 ds's myself I am all too aware how hilarious they find wobbly/dangly bits and certain noises:rotfl: ......and no they never grow out of it!

NAR

thatgirlsam wrote: »

the fascination with the penis is something a male never grows out of !

And a female does?

thatgirlsam

NAR wrote: »

And a female does?

well i don't find them as fascinating as their owners do

me ex used to flap his in my face and wiggle his hips so it bounced up and down and say things like ' yeh baby look what i got'

and expect me to find it funny

thatgirlsam

bertiebots wrote: »

I dont think anyone is being silly to mention sexual abuse as a cause for inappropriate behaviour because it does happen. The most likely cause is that he is just being a daft little boy and for his sake lets hope that is all it is (but the fact that he is touching is a red flag.)

Having 2 ds's myself I am all too aware how hilarious they find wobbly/dangly bits and certain noises:rotfl: ......and no they never grow out of it!

maybe not silly but it is a bit sad that it is the first thing people think of , and the conclusion they jump to - when this behaviour is NORMAL

jamespir

bertiebots wrote: »

I dont think anyone is being silly to mention sexual abuse as a cause for inappropriate behaviour because it does happen. The most likely cause is that he is just being a daft little boy and for his sake lets hope that is all it is (but the fact that he is touching is a red flag.)

Having 2 ds's myself I am all too aware how hilarious they find wobbly/dangly bits and certain noises:rotfl: ......and no they never grow out of it!

this place makes me laugh

it seems if a man is spending money and not giving it to his wife hes controlling and a domestic abuser

now a child show's girls his willy and kisses them(normal childish behaviour) he's being abused

we do have some rather paranoid people on here

jamespir

thatgirlsam wrote: »

well i don't find them as fascinating as their owners do

me ex used to flap his in my face and wiggle his hips so it bounced up and down and say things like ' yeh baby look what i got'

and expect me to find it funny

im must be the only man thats not fascinated by my penis

gingin_2

Thank you so much everyone. I am so much calmer. I think it was a case of coming straight home and stewing on my own.

I knew I would some good perspective here. :T

miss_independent

I'm a teacher and training as an Educational Psychologist. It is normal at this age to be interested in your own body and how they differ from the opposite sex and, provided there is no abuse going on, there will be nothing sexual in it. Warning signs would be if he was using overtly sexual terms, enacting sexual activity or becoming violent/forceful at the same time (i.e demanding that another child touch him etc). When you say that he is touching girls, what do you mean? Do you mean he is touching or attempting to touch them in inappropriate ways or is he merely trying to hold their hand, hug them, kiss them?

Even though a preoccupation with genitalia is normal at 5 or 6, it is important for children to learn boundaries and what is appropriate behavior especially once they are at school. From a teaching point of view, I don't believe it should be my responsibility (as an Educational Psychologist, if a child was referred to me with a problem with inappropriate sexual behaviour, then it would become my responsibility) but first and foremost this education should come from the parents. It could well be that the parents are unaware of this behavior and in that case, the child's teacher should make them aware. It may be that as a parent you may have to ask the teacher if they could speak to the parents about talking to the child about stopping exposing himself. It will be a very delicate situation for the teacher to be in and no doubt they will have to consult the head teacher too.

Overall, I wouldn't be too concerned although I can understand that it must be unpleasant for you as a parent of a little girl who you want to protect. But the child probably has no idea that this behaviour is inappropriate if he has never been taught that it is. I can distinctly recall a little boy whom I was friends with and I showing each other our "bits" and can remember a group of us all getting naked and doing the same in the wendy house when I was about 5 and my mother going mad at me! In primary school, I had "boyfriends" and we would kiss each other and we all played kiss chase. In fact, I got my front two teeth knocked out playing kiss chase when a little boy stuck his tongue in my mouth trying to copy his teenage sister who did the same with her boyfriend. We were severely reprimanded and told we "were dirty" and the whole class was banned from playing kiss chase again. There is a distinct danger when trying to educate children about what is not appropriate that we make them feel dirty or ashamed about their bodies because we as adults are make sexual inferences about what is not actually sexual behaviour. Five/Six year olds do not understand sex, what little they may know about sex they will find very funny and silly. Just saying the word "sex" or "willy" is hysterical to them and so they may say it over and over again.
Please try not to worry and also, as hard as it may be, try not to get too upset about it in front of your daughter as she will pick up on your behaviour. You may want to merely say "Wasn't that a silly thing for X to do?" and discuss ways that she can deal with it, i.e walk away, tell a teacher. As for the dancing at the party, I teach dancing and there is nothing a five year old boy likes to do more than shake his bum! When the children do freestyle dance in class, I'm always shocked at how provocative some of their dancing is but alot of them have been influenced by what they see in music videos, all the little girls try to dance like the !!!!!cat Dolls and so on. I will never forget going to a ballroom/latin dance event at Blackpool Tower and, in the social dancing part where anyone could get up and dance seeing a girl who was about six trying to renact the Argentine Tango with a little boy she just met, it started out quite cute but then they ended up on the floor and it looked like they were humping each other - you have never seen so many horrified adults or two sets of parents run and separate their kids as fast as theirs did! But it was just kids playing and although if it was my daughter I too would be horrified, I think sometimes we just have to step back, take a deep breath and think of how to deal with this calmly without giving the kids mixed messages or making them feel like they have done something terrible when they don't understand what they are doing in the first place. If handled wrong a child could go from loving their body so much they see noting wrong with showing it too the whole world, to ending up feeling that part of their body is "wrong" or "dirty" and develop self-esteem problems or worse as a result. So, it is a good job this boy seems to have "lovely" parents as you say as if they are too harsh with him there could be lasting problems.

I hope that this problem is sorted soon and that you don't have to go through anymore worry with it. But as I say, my first step would be to approach the teacher, be frank about how you feel and ask her if she could perhaps have a tactful word with the parents. Good Luck.