Inappropriate behaviour from a child in dd's class. How would you feel?

gingin_2

I heard from another Mum that one of the boys in dd's class was behaving inappropriately with the girls. Kissing, showing his willy, touching the girls. I didn't really want to get too involved in the conversation, as I knew nothing about it from dd so left it there.

OH picked DD up from a party a few weeks ago and said without knowing any of the background that this child was behaving very strangely in front of her, dancing in her face and touching her.

Today, this child has flashed his willy at my daughter and I am quite upset I was helping out in the class at the time and did hear the teacher (who I think is excellent) admonishing him and also saying that she would have to tell the head, which I am satisfied with, but it's not the first time he has done it.

I am upset for dd because she is a very quiet child and hates to make a fuss - the teacher only knew because another child told her - not my daughter. I'm don't think dd will be that upset about it, she has a brother (although he doesn't flash his willy at her!) so is used to boys but equally I wish she would have told the teacher herself.

I guess I am posting here to save myself from getting worked up for the rest of the day. How would you feel? Am I over-reacting? The children are 5 and 6, so I am assuming the child is not getting a sexual kick out of it, but it's just not on. What should the school be doing, if anything, to deal with it?

I would be grateful for any opinions

thorsoak

In your position, I would be talking to the head herself. It may well be that this little boy is behaving in this way as he has learned it from a sibling/other child - or it may even be the case that he has been sexually molested by an adult - which is horrendous

gingin_2

Yes, I guess I will.

I know it's naive thing to say but his parents are lovely - I would have said he was the least likely to be exposed to abuse. My gut instinct says this is not the case but I know I could be wrong.

bertiebots

Inappropriate sexual behaviour in a child can be a sign of sexual abuse so I would second what thorsoak said and discuss this with the school head. Of course this little boy could just be doing this because it provokes a reaction but either way it needs resolving. I am sure the school will have some policy in place to sort this out.
I would be unhappy too if this was my child (as it is obviously upsetting her) so I dont think you are overreacting!

itsallinthemind

I'd be careful not to alarm your DD, after all at 5/6 they know no different

I'd simply have a word with the teacher and ask them what is being done as obviously this behaviour needs to be dealt with. However I can not see it being fixed immediately, I should imagine the boy simply thinks it hilarious and like all inapropriate behaviour and habits it is going to take some time to get through to him. So I think there will only be a fine balance between the question of "Is the school doing enough" and how long is it acceptable for a child to unlearn bad behaviour?

itsallinthemind

My brother used to do things like this, he was not abused, just thought it was funny as he found it got a reaction!

I'm sure that the school are trained on how to deal with any potential concerns

jamespir

just have a chat to the teacher

jamespir

thorsoak wrote: »

In your position, I would be talking to the head herself. It may well be that this little boy is behaving in this way as he has learned it from a sibling/other child - or it may even be the case that he has been sexually molested by an adult - which is horrendous

dont be silly my childs five and hes not being abused and hes shown his willy to some girls + boys it's what kids do

although i have told him off and he hasnt done it again

thatgirlsam

its probably just a silly little boy !

aww he is only 5 you say ?

i would say thats quite a normal thing for a young boy , my son is 4 and shows me and my dd who is 10 his willy and bum , talks about poo and wee a lot and thinks willies are hilarious in general !

i have spoken to him and said please keep your willy private and word to that effect , but becuase my dd laughed at him once he thinks flsahing his willy will make her laugh

to my knowledge he has not done this at school , but please don't read too much into it

some boys are very silly at this age

gingin_2

itsallinthemind wrote: »

I'd be careful not to alarm your DD, after all at 5/6 they know no different

I'd simply have a word with the teacher and ask them what is being done as obviously this behaviour needs to be dealt with. However I can not see it being fixed immediately, I should imagine the boy simply thinks it hilarious and like all inapropriate behaviour and habits it is going to take some time to get through to him. So I think there will only be a fine balance between the question of "Is the school doing enough" and how long is it acceptable for a child to unlearn bad behaviour?

Thank you.

I'm sat here getting myself worked up because it's my daughter but if I had read this thread as an observer, I would have probably have written the same as you. That's why the different perspectives you can get here are great.

I am confident the teacher will deal with it, she has taught both of my children and my son had his "moments" at that age and she always handled it brilliantly.

itsallinthemind

Do you see an abused young girl?
Or a child being a child?

This is classed as a funny picture. It would not be funny is there was any chance the child was acting this way due to sexual abuse.