ARGH!!! Husband with money and attitude!

74jax

jamespir wrote: »

you slapped him and now your crying becasue he walked out what do you expect if hed have hit you i can guarantee you'd be on the phone to the police


SERIOIUSLY you need to calm down hes already agreed to pay the bills

as for yout holiday can you not do stuff where you dont have to spend money and just relax and enjoy yourself

I totally agree. You slapped him and he walked away. He couldn't have stayed or things would have got even more heated.

I'd suggest relate, you need a third person if you can't talk to each other.

What happened to everything was ok and you were on the sofa happy??

What on earth are you doing paying for aholiday you can't afford. You have been made redundant, you need to cut back on everything, every none essential. how will you be on holiday? will you even be talking? if you feel you need a break you pay for youself to have a few days away - go visit friends but don't spend money on a holiday, I'm sorry but this just doesn't make sence. Are you trying to pretend a holiday will fix things and will be all lovely and rosy?

jamespir

confusedroast wrote: »

I would not be on the phone to the police if he hit me I would be packing my bags even though its my flat (only just got his name on the mortgage)

ITs half board in maldives and we dont plan on doing anything apart from relax and spend quality time with dd - I dont even know if we will be going - I know he would have walked out to calm down and take a breather I have no doubt he will be back soon

either way you both being silly my advice would be to apologize for hitting him later and then for the next few days dont even mention the M word untill he gets paid on thursday

74jax

confusedroast wrote: »

ITs half board in maldives and we dont plan on doing anything apart from relax and spend quality time with dd - I dont even know if we will be going - I know he would have walked out to calm down and take a breather I have no doubt he will be back soon

You have got to be kidding me................ can't you spend 'quality time' with your daughter at home????? free??????????

Lotus-eater

confusedroast wrote: »

He HAS said he will let me have all the money I need for bills and mortgage and food etc and he will have to survive on whats left, I have said I will pay £60 towards bills

I put his name on the mortgage last month and it cost me £300 for solicitor fees and documents and £275 for the mortgage broker

So he'll let you have the money YOU need to pay the bills, that's good of him.

!!!!!!, does he even realise he is supporting a family, do you even realise he is your husband?

I don't know, this whole situation sound so bizarre. Another kid in this situation is crazy, I can't see the two of you lasting long the way you are going.
Either the two of you realise you have to work and pull together, as a family, or continue living separate lives, while living together. I don't think that either of you respect the other one.

I can't see you telling him this, if you are, you're hiding it well.

Steel_2

confusedroast wrote: »

Well I stood up to him and look where its got me - he shouted at me, in my face, he called me a slag and that he hated me and boo hoo poor me for finding everything so difficult -
So I slapped him

I have never ever lashed out at him but my blood was boiling - I lost it then - You ALWAYS raise your voice at me when there is a problem, you never want to talk so come on lets have it out then lets shout at the top of our voices and give the neighbours something to talk about and degrade and lose respect for each other - this is how you always carry on (I am screaming and crying at thispoint), does this help now? Now that I have lost it for once?! Is this what you want? I have told you for the last 5 months that I will NOT have any money coming in anymore and I cant pay anything and you have still just spent all your money, still got me to bail you out (if you want the bigger picture he told me he still had the £300 I gave him at xmas, he owes 3 friends £100 each, I paid for the last 2 holidays when I was working, he lied to me again and again sayinghe had money, he waited til I booked the holiday then told me he didnt have any money)

He walked out on me, I havent stopped crying since 9am, I DO NOT have PND, this has been going on for months and I am now glad that I have lost it cos its been driving me nuts

He HAS said he will let me have all the money I need for bills and mortgage and food etc and he will have to survive on whats left, I have said I will pay £60 towards bills

I put his name on the mortgage last month and it cost me £300 for solicitor fees and documents and £275 for the mortgage broker

Where has he gone now? Is he at work?

Take lots of deep breaths and sit down with a cup of tea.

You've made you point. He will now pay the bills.

You need to apologise for hitting him when you see him. And you need to thank him for agreeing to pay the bills.

It shouldn't have come to this, but now it has things will change. He's had a shock this morning and your reaction has shocked you too no doubt.

Take it quietly and take it slowly from now on. Baby steps.

the_cat

confusedroast wrote: »

I would not be on the phone to the police if he hit me I would be packing my bags even though its my flat (only just got his name on the mortgage)

/QUOTE]

It's not your flat though is it, if you've put his name on the mortgage?

valos_mummy

My ex was an a*se with money; he earned about £500 more a month (net) than I did and still peed it up the wall whilst I tried to get the bills paid. It took it's toll (obviously, he's an ex!) and was one of the many many reasons I kicked him out.

Now, I'm not saying kick him out. But he does need to understand that you being SAHM = him being provider for the WHOLE family. He wants you to stay and be mum, then that's the deal. You can't magic money out of thin air and bills need to be paid. He can't have his cake and eat it.

I read OPs last post as hubbie only agreeing to pay money for bills/mortgage/food after she'd given him a right b*ll*cking.

I'd be hopping mad too, putting his name on the mortgage and paying £575 for it yourself with NO contribution from him when you have no wage anymore? Wrong. Lying to your wife about having money and only fessing up once she'd booked you a holiday? Wrong.

And no, I don't agree with slapping whether ye be male or female. But then saying that you hate your wife and calling her a slag isn't exactly first class behaviour either. My ex did that whenever I asked him about money, called me all the names under the sun because he got found out and didn't like it :mad:

Any

Steel wrote: »

You've made you point. He will now pay the bills.

You need to apologise for hitting him when you see him. And you need to thank him for agreeing to pay the bills.

!!!!!!???? He called her slag and she has to appologise? Hell I know I woulnd't appologise first (unless he appologised for the slag).

Agree with the rest though...

74jax

confusedroast wrote: »

I would not be on the phone to the police if he hit me I would be packing my bags even though its my flat (only just got his name on the mortgage)

I am so confused. Isn't it both your homes?? owned together?? or has it not gone through yet?

Even if it hasn't gone through, if he lives there is it not classed as his home??

I need another coffee.............

Steel_2

Any wrote: »

!!!!!!???? He called her slag and she has to appologise? Hell I know I woulnd't appologise first (unless he appologised for the slag).

Agree with the rest though...

She hit him. She had a choice. You. Do. Not. Hit. People. There is NO justification. You do not use violence to win an argument regardless of what someone says.

And if you do this routinely Any, if you think that's acceptable to belt someone over a few words, you have a serious problem.