ARGH!!! Husband with money and attitude!

*Louise*

an1179 wrote: »

My OH is not complete unless he has an overdraft I have tried explaining that he is paying more in charges than we get interest on the same amount. Every time I pay it off with our savings (which I save) he runs up another overdraft..

Stop paying it off for him.


If he won't cancel the O/D, let it stay overdrawn - he can't use it then....

an1179

*Louise* wrote: »

Stop paying it off for him.


If he won't cancel the O/D, let it stay overdrawn - he can't use it then....

Yes I have stopped doing that after the last attempt. Can't get my head around the mentality

jakem_2

kaya wrote: »

i cant believe that people who are married still have his n hers bank accounts and savings in this day and age !!!!!
we share all our money and savings, always have done, we dont have an individual income as we are a couple, we have household income, you must all have serious trust issues going on inside your relationships, if you dont trust each other with something as simple as finances what chance do you have for a long term relationship?

Your are one of the lucky ones, as my OH is as tight as a ducks whatsit, and he earns heaps more than more, and sometimes when I have no work, he doesnt even offer me a penny, this and other things are the contributing factor to me starting divorce proceedings.

if you dont trust each other with something as simple as finances what chance do you have for a long term relationship?[/QUOTE]

Exactly, I didnt see the writing on the wall.

To the OP, I cant really offer you much advice, as I am in a similar situation, but you really need to make a decision as it will only get worse like my relationship did.

I wish you all the best andhope you sort things out.

confusedroast

Erm my goodness how this post has rolled....and not necessaily in the right direction...why does everyone keep using the D word (Divorce)

I had a VERY late one last night so husband let me sleep in this morning whilst he attended to dd

Got up and he had a hot cup of tea and a bacon and egg baguette ready for me! Yummy!

We spoe about my night then he said he was sorry he went off the handle, he is highly pressurised at work (they are just about to go through redundancies) and that with me holding th pure strings he is finding it hard, I apologised for maybe coming across as a bit like his mum and giving him his card like its pocket money.
I asked him what would he do to make it better, he said that as far as he was concerned we were happy, the most important tjing is that the mortgage and bills get paid and then food, anything else is great to have left over and now he can see where the money is going he knows he can have £2-300 left over at the end of the month and that he can get out of his overdraft.
He said he wanted to buy me flowers but couldnt even do that a I would want to know why he wanted his card, I suggested that if we take the mortgage and bills out and a big food shop and some money aside for car petrol and food then he could have his card and that moeny left over had to last AND some had to be saved
We have agreed to do this, everything (as always btw all the divorce haters) is fine and dandy and we spent the rest of the day cuddling up on the sofa as it was raining, just dropped him off to his mates, they are not going out as dont have money but will have a few beers in and then starting gold at 7am tomorrow to finish by midday, just put darling daughter down to bed and about to make some dinner and then get an early night!

Kay_Peel

Ah, so that's all right then. He's rolled over, let you rub his tummy and promised to be a good boy. He can have his card back when all the big deductions have been taken out. Problem solved.









Why do I get a b-a-a-d feeling about the post from the OP?

wigglebeena

Maybe she's the one seeing clearly. I hope so. I would rather other people were happy, than that I was right.

JoJoB

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Ah, so that's all right then. He's rolled over, let you rub his tummy and promised to be a good boy. He can have his card back when all the big deductions have been taken out. Problem solved.

Why do I get a b-a-a-d feeling about the post from the OP?

Just a bit patronising. Every relationship has its problems and conflicts - sometimes they are worked through and resolved after coming to a head. Sometimes the problems run too deep and the relationship can't survive - but only the two people in the relationship can really know where they are at.

I do know what you mean though, and maybe OP needs to be a bit firmer, but only she really knows her own situation.

Tread carefully though OP, and maybe look at building up an "exit fund" in case things turn sour quickly.

confusedroast

1. I am most definately NOT a pushover
2. THere is no point in me attacking my husband and being too firm, he will only attack back - cant fight fire with fire and then where does that leave us...?
3. Our marriage is about communication and I intend in keeping it that way
4. IF he spends this money then more fool him, he knows the consequences now and I dont think I have to spell it out again
5. I took advice fom here and have used it the best way I can, eg have seen that maybe I have over nagged and we have only just started to try this method but upon talking him he did feel like I was playing mum with the money and I most certainly dont want THAT happening to our marriage
6. He has already forgoed going out tonight and golf tomorrow is now cheaper as he has got two more mates to play which means the cost goes down (at this golf course apparently)
7. He gets paid Thursday - I reckon after tomorrow he will still have around £80 left which is better than NOTHING AND better than going anymore into overdraft

ChrisCobra

This post smells. Troll food needs to be stopped immediately.

confusedroast

ChrisCobra wrote: »

This post smells. Troll food needs to be stopped immediately.

Sorry I dont understand what do you mean by troll?