I'm going to kill my husband to be!!

Emmypenny

richardvc wrote: »

Can I give you a bloke's perception of his wedding day -
BTW, I wish you (the OP) luck and have no idea how to coax your fiance round but please remember you are marrying him because you are in love with him and nothing to do with a ceremony.

I'd agreed with you there Richard (although I'd say "wedding" rather than "ceremony" - that's the only bit you HAVE to do to get officially married!)

I know what you mean about your points 1 & 2 but I don't think it's necessarily true. It's certainly what you're encouraged to believe as a bloke and if your bride is obsessing over the colour of toilet roll (or whatever!) then it's easy enough to just let her get on with it and stay out of the way.

However if you look at it as an awesome party where all your friends and family who you care about are there to see you celebrate an important day in your life, would you just want to turn up and have no say in what happened, what music was played, and what you had to wear?

richardvc

Emmypenny wrote: »

However if you look at it as an awesome party where all your friends and family who you care about are there to see you celebrate an important day in your life, would you just want to turn up and have no say in what happened, what music was played, and what you had to wear?

I did the above and that's why I enjoyed my wedding day but too many brides are too obsessed with themselves and seem to forget that it is a celebration of the couple and not just the bride.

BTW, liked your loo roll line !

Alyssa_C_2

Emmypenny wrote: »

I know what you mean about your points 1 & 2 but I don't think it's necessarily true.

would you just want to turn up and have no say in what happened, what music was played, and what you had to wear?

This is my issue, it's not all about me and what I want, it's all about us as a couple and what we want. I have made this clear when people say it's my day. I firmly correct them, it's Our day!
I want it to be right for him as well. I'm marrying him and always want to make him happy. I'm gonna stop with the loving gushy stuff now before you all leave and throw up. :rotfl:

Dinah93

sunshine_shell wrote: »

The only thing i actually want is to do is go to Australia for 3 weeks for our honeymoon and funnily enough he doesn't want to do that :mad:

Know the feeling - I wanted a big honeymoon (in our case a week 5* in Dubai and 2 weeks in a 4* water villa in the Maldives) and he wanted a big family wedding - so we're having 180 people!

I really feel for you love, it must be so hard, I can't really offer advice unfortunately as mine has been an absolute dream with it, keen to be involved, excited to help in the decisions, suggesting ideas and generally making the process a lot easier than it would be alone.

If he's made certain key decisions, such as having the marque etc, I find it really hard to understand without knowing him why he'd be so scared now.

sandiep

Sorry, haven't read all posts, so sorry if this duplicates.

Have you considered having a small, quiet wedding. Somewhere that's a bit indulgent just for you and your very close family, and then a rip roaring weekend party/reception over the weekend afterwards.

We did this. Wedding at Dalhousie Castle for 10, and then we hired out the local pub/hotel in our village, had loads of friends up to stay and had a big wedding party.

All very relaxed at both bits. And he can just enjoy the party, knowing that he's already done the wedding bit, and just talk to people one on one, and avoid the whole public statement thing.

(And you get to wear your wedding dress twice!!)

richardvc

sandiep wrote: »

(And you get to wear your wedding dress twice!!)

Surely this isn't the point of getting married !!

Apologies Sandiep this is nothing personal and your wedding sounded great but in my earlier post my comment was that the dress (I'm paraphrasing here) seems to be as big a part as the act of getting married.

Sandiep, one of my friends got married there and the photos were fabulous !

Eric_Pisch

sunshine_shell wrote: »

I wish it was that easy with him, but he's telling me i'm forcing him to do stuff he doesn't want to do and i'm not!! He's the one who invited his whole family pushing our guest list from 17 to over 30 :eek: , he's the one who wanted a bloody marquee instead of the nice small room i was going to hire. He's the one that thinks he's the only one bobbing their pants about this, he thinks because i'm a teacher and i talk to kids all day i'll be fine about it all and i'm not.

The only thing i actually want is to do is go to Australia for 3 weeks for our honeymoon and funnily enough he doesn't want to do that :mad:

a good slap to put him in his place will sort that

tbh if hes not obedient and compliant at this stage ....

Emmypenny

Alyssa - I too keep having to explain to outsiders that it's about us, not me. In fact my fella teases me by saying "it's YOUR day" when he knows it winds me up! In reality we've discussed things together, and there are some things that have surprised me that he wants, like flowers - which don't bother me in the slightest!

Richard - Wearing your dress twice is about value for money! We might be visiting several relatives in various parts of the country that can't make the wedding and I fully intend to re-use any dress I have as much as possible. I'll be spending money to find one that makes me look great - why would I not want to wear it all the time?! However I'd quite happily spend just as much (or more) on getting my fella a great suit that he felt comfortable and confident in.

Eric - Let's not encourage the OP to resort to violence - after all the name of this thread is inflammatory enough!

richardvc

Emmypenny wrote: »

Richard - Wearing your dress twice is about value for money!

Proper MSE stuff it could be argued then !

sunshine_shell

Well, we've had a calm weekend and no fighting and its been lovely!! I don't really want to kill him, just really frustrated at his mood swings about our wedding. Because it is about us, not just me and i find it hard that he isn't as excited as me about it!