I'm going to kill my husband to be!!

sunshine_shell

WHY WON'T HE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING WITH ME!!!!

He wants to get married in May/June/July next year because that when there'll be no football which is fine, means there won't be any distractions.

But that is it, thats all he'll say, total brick wall!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: I try and ask him questions, talk to him about it all and he won't give me an answer just 'I don't know' I know he has this crippling fear of standing up infront of everyone and talking but i'm getting ready to kill him and not wanting to marry him.

Please help me cure his fear of talking, i'm a teacher so i don't have this problem and i don't know what to say to him, does the Registrar (sp??) make him repeat after them or can he just say 'i do' at the end? i know he won't do a grooms speech and he's turned down being a best man because he is so scared.

Dizzie77

Oh dear Shell....
I am guessing that you want a big wedding?

Would you be able to do the ceremony bit just in front of your closest friends and family? Would he cope with that?
Does he take an interest in anything remotely weddingish??

wanttogetwed

Think it's a man thing - my OH just wants to know where he should be and when. Saying that I was moaning other day because my football team is playing a big game the day we get married. I've just got on with it - he knows what he has to do on the day and has no idea about decorations so I am quite happy for him to do the 'man stuff'.

sunshine_shell

I wanted a big white wedding he wanted gretna and 2 witnesses so we are having a registery office, but he just isn't interested at all except the honeymoon. I just want to cry but i know it would wind him up into even more of a state. what am i going to do??!!!

p.s I love football but i wouldn't want anything to distract from our big day!!

Kittendreich

It is still quite a long way away and most blokes just don't get the big build up to weddings. Mine is in 4 weeks and my other half is only just getting his head round the fact that we have to do any organising at all! If it is important to you to chat about it lots now - why not have 'wedding night' - a night a week that he promises to talk about the wedding...in return for you (trying!) not talking about it the rest of the time?

If you know he hates talking in public...don't make him do it...it is his wedding too. I think you can have basic vows that you agree to at the end and don't have to repeat all the bits - your registrar will let you know what is possible.

floss2

We try to keep wedding tasks & talk to one weekend a month, so we dont get too bogged down with it. Would that work?

serenawell

sunshine_shell wrote: »

I wanted a big white wedding he wanted gretna and 2 witnesses so we are having a registery office, but he just isn't interested at all except the honeymoon. I just want to cry but i know it would wind him up into even more of a state. what am i going to do??!!!

p.s I love football but i wouldn't want anything to distract from our big day!!

My wedding is on a football day, at my football club on the last home game of the season. Some of the players are even walking me out on the pitch in my wedding dress

Stephb1986_2

Hmmmm I already want to kill my H2B but nothing wedding related lmao

Other than that the planning has really come to a halt I'm just not in the mood for it right now and he's got me to the stage where I will just book it and tell him to turn up which is not how I wanted it I wanted us to plan together and both of us have something we want. AHHHH MEN!

Steph xx

sazzyb

I think it's an inherent bloke thing tbh, like many others have said. Mine thinks it can all be sorted a couple of weeks before the wedding. He comes up with no ideas and says he doesn't mind but actually despite his lack of interest and refusal to share ideas, he doesn't agree with any of mine - very annoying!!

ktownkid

Your husband to be sounds like my twin brother. Have the fear of talking in front of large group and have decline best man because of this.
Have recently done a comunication and assertiveness night class which has helped.
Good luck, planing to get hitched next year too.

Lexxi

Could you get one of the self help type books, would he read it? A course sounds like a good idea. Also, could you do the speech? Weddings I've been to the bride has done a speech the groom has stood with her, or he could give out the thank you presents.
My OH has got the wedding down to church, dress, cars, the only input is the things he wont budge on so he's getting those jobs