Am I being hard done by? Warning Rant Ahead

lauren_1

Your family sound like mine, but to get so enraged over it does show a lot of imaturity. Its only £1000 but not even you know the exact figure your mum spent on your sister and neither should you as its none of your business. Be grateful for what you are given and remember why exactly you have this money...your grandad.

tesuhoha

You said you were a measly third so do you know how much the 4th sibling got? Maybe she is only giving you that £3500 because she wants to give your children the other £3500 as a gift to her grandchildren.

roses

I think you've got your susms wrong there, what kind of car insurance costs £3,000 :cool:

blue_monkey_2

roses wrote: »

I think you've got your susms wrong there, what kind of car insurance costs £3,000 :cool:

BMW? Audi? Subaru? What kind of person has to pay this amount on a small car? Maybe a young driver that has already had 2 accidents in their short driving career.

My friend had to get her daughter Insured in her own name because a 1.4 polo cost over £2000 to Insure. With her mums name with her NCB on it the price was just over £1000.

I am dreading when my kids want their first cars.

Wow

blue_monkey wrote: »

I am dreading when my kids want their first cars.

Make sure you spend exactly the same amount of money on each of them if you do buy their cars for them.

chesky369

The sad thing about this whole thread is that you are hurting yourself more than your mother ever could. Your sister sounds as though she is actually quite frail - or at least hasn't come to terms with life as most of us know it. Your mother knows this and tries to compensate for her in the only way she can at present, by giving her a car, to try to show her that she's loved and wanted. You have a loving partner, so does your sister. Your sister on the other hand, only seems to have an empty life, and your parents.

I have a son and a daughter. You start off trying to treat them the same. But in the end this doesn't actually work - all you can hope is that in the long run, things work out evenly - give or take. This is because all human beings want different things at different times in their lives. I helped my daughter a few years ago (without telling her brother); now I can similarly help her brother, who now needs some assistance - a few years ago, it would just have been a waste, since he didn't need anything. It just wasn't at the same time, nor for the same things, so it's swings and roundabouts.

blue_monkey_2

Wow wrote: »

Make sure you spend exactly the same amount of money on each of them if you do buy their cars for them.

Very, very, very long before that happens and there is no way we would have £200 a month (minimum) for insurance for the both of them and get them cars - this is what I was getting at. They could have them if they had jobs I suppose - the same as what I had to do.

Arthurian

I think the OP should ask mother, politely and calmly, if each sibling has been given the same amount, and if the answer if "No" then ask "Why?" - but don't start an argument. If the answer is "Yes", ask again if they've all had £3,500. Just because mother has enough money to go on nice holidays, etc, it doesn't mean her memory is as good as you think. Even if Alzheimer's isn't setting in (and it can be hidden for ages), traumatic times can affect the memory, and she has just lost her father (and has to deal with the daughter).

On the other hand, mother might have decided to give £3,500 to each of your generation of her family. I think, OP, your assessment of the car insurance seems very high, so younger sis might have got £3,500. Your other sister (she of the £7,000) and her boyfriend got £3,500 each. Is there some reason why your mother might think her boyfriend was going to marry into the family? Maybe some older people might see a fiance as almost family whereas a 'partner' is not officially a member of the family. I'm not saying that's my point of view, just that it could be her reasoning.

Wow

blue_monkey wrote: »

Very, very, very long before that happens and there is no way we would have £200 a month (minimum) for insurance for the both of them and get them cars - this is what I was getting at. They could have them if they had jobs I suppose - the same as what I had to do.

Its a changing world. You will end up paying for them.

Frugalista

OP I know exactly where you are coming from and I totally understand it's about more than the money - my mother is just the same .

She plays constant mind games and tries to cause conflict between my 3 sisters and I. She always spends different amounts on us and then pretends to be discreet about it but "accidentaly" let slip how much more she's spent on the others.

And Yes I'm the one who always gets the least - I'm also the one who got married, saved up and bought our own house, etc, etc. I try to maintain a distance from her but she knows exactly what buttons to push and how to hurt the deepest. Fortunately, my sisters and I are very close and talk to each other most days. We all know what a liar and manipulator she is but it doesn't stop her. It's almost like she wants us all to be at each others throats :mad:.

Just take the money and enjoy it.