Am I being hard done by? Warning Rant Ahead

Gingham_Ribbon

aliasojo, I don't for a minute think that what you are doing is unfair. You're making sure your children are treated fairly and are obviously loved equally. That doesn't mean they have to be treated identically. We all have different needs and shouldn't expect to be treated the same as our siblings. But there needs to be an effort to ensure that one doesn't feel 'lesser'.

aliasojo

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

But there needs to be an effort to ensure that one doesn't feel 'lesser'.

Completely agree GR. What we don't know in the OP's case is whether she is the type of person who is understanding of circumstances (if there are any to consider that is) or if she is the type of person who feels things should be cut and shared equally no matter what and maybe has a black and white view on things.

That's the drawback of the internet, it's hard to offer advice sometimes when you just don't know the types of people involved and how they view things. The OP's situation could be down to an uncaring Mum, an unthinking Mum or an inconsiderate 'child'. We only have example's of the Mum's actions through her disgruntled daughter's eyes, she could well have good cause to be upset but equally she might just not be seeing the situation in the same way the Mum does.

Whatever the situation and whatever the reason, it's not nice to feel the way the OP does so I hope she is able to reconcile her feelings and move on. Even if that's without financially equality with her siblings.

pigpen

aliasojo wrote: »

Excellent idea, and so helpful. Don't miss out out an opportunity to show how someone else's choices are not good enough for you, will you. < Doesn't really help does it?

Sorry, this could sit in my 'unfair' category that I mentioned earlier.

Oh don't be so childish.. if the OP thought it was a wonderful place to shop she wouldn't have even mentioned it, hence the .. because I refuse to go near the place and I am certain given a choice she wouldn't either, so it was showing empathy.. understanding why she believes it unsuitable.. Would we choose to dress our children in cheap crap given half a chance, or would we all want the designer stuff? Though I would bet they are always clean and tidy and that is what counts more than where they are from.

You however can shop where you like.. see how gracious I am.. and stop looking for malice where there is none, trying to impress your own feelings of inadequacy onto other people is not helpful. You ARE good enough.. This can be your new mantra.

Elvis_Jones_3

The whole lot should have gone to charity ... sorted.

aliasojo

pigpen wrote: »

Oh don't be so childish......


You however can shop where you like.. see how gracious I am.. and stop looking for malice where there is none, trying to impress your own feelings of inadequacy onto other people is not helpful. You ARE good enough.. This can be your new mantra.

Is it hard for you to be pleasant?

Edit: Your earlier post did not come across as showing empathy which is why I responded as I did. Perhaps if you re-read it with fresh eyes you would see what I and others like me saw. Rather than stepping back and considering your post, you chose to post ridiculous comments about my 'feelings of inadequacy' that I apparently have. If ever there was a good time to use one of those banned smilies, it's now.

Sorry OP for taking this OT. I hope you feel more settled with things soon.

pigpen

aliasojo wrote: »

Is it hard for you to be pleasant?

One could ask you the very same question and be justified.

aliasojo

pigpen wrote: »

One could ask you the very same question and be justified.

Just for the record, my original reply was made to defend the OP. I didn't post simply to nitpick, I felt she had enough to contend with without being made to feel bad about her shopping habits.

As you said in a later post, this was not what you intended, you intended to empathise but that was not the way you came across.

I'm going to leave this here now, my interest isn't in fighting. I felt you were unfair, I said so. If you choose to continue to make comments about my character then feel free.

retro_bluebell

Maybe its not a case of favouritism maybe your mum thinks you dont need the money as much as your sister (you've said yourself you are comfortable) and would appreciate a little bit of "play" money to do with what you want?

onlyroz

If there is a circumstance where one sibling has a greater need for money than the other then I don't think it's a problem to give them more. For example, my parents have given my brother quite a lot of money recently to pay for some medical bills - and I don't begrudge him the money for a second, or expect my parents to give me an equal amount of money in return. At the end of the day it's their money and they can do with it as they please.

Although, having said that, I suppose that if I required money for a similar reason, I might feel peeved if my parents refused me when they'd helped my brother.

gingin_2

Okay, well as it sounds like you are definitely being treated differently, I really do feel for you. And I apologise for getting the situation wrong earlier. It's not about the inheritance, I guess, more being unfairly treated.

Don't rant or get angry, it's never a way to win an argument. Just keep a level head and simply ask "why". I would say she owes you an explanation but she might not feel that way.

Good luck and always appreciate what you do have, don't dwell on what you don't.