Diplomatic dilemma re: in-laws and moving - any advice?

[Deleted User]

DebtHater wrote: »

Why not charge the OH's parents "house-keep"? Charge them money as if they were lodgers....

My OH seems happy with the plans we've put in place and I think we shouldn't charge them if they do stay...easier to change attitudes bit-by-bit rather than turfing them out and then demanding money!

That said, if they do get shirty I might buy them some 'do not disturb' and 'please make up my room' signs to put on the spare room door...then they should take a hint

I think that all of the advice here is going to make a difference and I'm quite confident that in the new house we'll be able to set out the groundrules quite confidently.

poppysarah

Deleted_User wrote: »

That said, if they do get shirty I might buy them some 'do not disturb' and 'please make up my room' signs to put on the spare room door...then they should take a hint

No they won't. They will expect a turn down service and a complimentary chocolate on their pillow. ;-)

[Deleted User]

poppysarah wrote: »

No they won't. They will expect a turn down service and a complimentary chocolate on their pillow. ;-)

Welcome to Hotel Bungle - I will guarantee them a bad night's sleep with my snoring!

Grandmama

Just a thought. Do they still pay Income Tax in the UK. If not and they are taxed in Malta they can only spend 91 days in the UK before the Inland Revenue will start wanting some money back. This does not solve your problem but it would lessen the amount of time they are in the UK! Might scare them off. If they are getting their post directed to your house they should also be on the electerol roll and the Inland revenue might class your home as their UK abode and they will lose all ex-pat benefits (including any offshore account Tax Free status!)

LuluBlue_2

Definitely make sure the new sofa bed isn't terribly comfortable so they aren't inclined to stay as long!
I really feel for you, this is a difficult situation. However, I would certainly suggest that they move their belongings into storage in readiness for your house move, so you have that all packed away and sorted (to their satisfaction of course) well in advance. The fact that it isn't coming back out of storage is another matter entirely! As you won't have room for it straight away what with all the decoration etc you will be doing.
Maybe by the time the decorating is done you'll be ready to start that family!
Best of luck with it though.

redlady_1

Funnily enough, that was my thought. If they are non resident then they are spending way too much time in the UK and HMRC will be on their !!! in no time! Just think about the guy who has been clobbered millions and he was classed as non resident in Sri Lanka.

Grandmama

I mentioned the UK tax situation as I live and work in the Isle of Man. I have lived as an ex-pat since 1991 and I have to watch how many days I spend in the UK (IOM not part of UK). This is difficult as with family in UK I visit the UK just under the 90 days. Over 91 days and I will be liable for tax on all my offshore accounts and earnings! I do pay my due taxes to the Isle of Man Inland Revenue which are a great less than UK.

RacyRed

Grandmama wrote: »

Just a thought. Do they still pay Income Tax in the UK. If not and they are taxed in Malta they can only spend 91 days in the UK before the Inland Revenue will start wanting some money back. This does not solve your problem but it would lessen the amount of time they are in the UK! Might scare them off. If they are getting their post directed to your house they should also be on the electerol roll and the Inland revenue might class your home as their UK abode and they will lose all ex-pat benefits (including any offshore account Tax Free status!)

A good thought.

HMRC's FAQ on residency issues says...

Q13: In what circumstances will I be treated as a UK resident for UK tax purposes?

A13: To be treated as resident in the UK you must normally be physically present in the country at some time in the tax year. You will always be treated as resident if you are here for 183 days or more in the tax year. There are no exceptions to this. You count the total number of days you spend in the UK - it does not matter if you come and go several times during the year or if you are here for one stay of 183 days or more. If you are here for less than 183 days, you may still be treated as resident for the year if you visit the United Kingdom regularly and your visits average 91 days or more a tax year over a period not exceeding 4 years.
The normal rule is that days of arrival in and departure from the UK are ignored in counting the days spent in the UK.

FatVonD

You've had some great replies so not too much to add but I'd be stressing how the house move was a good time to have a good clearout and the new home was going to be much less cluttered. I'd definitely pack their stuff off to storage telling them you've kept enough stuff out for them that they might need for 'short visit'.

I think a sofa bed is definitely the way forward and I'd not let them get comfortable in any one room, I'd move them from one to another as you decorate, 'oh, this one is going to be our spare room while we decorate such and such other room' and then make your spare room the smallest, when they comment say, 'we opted to use the bigger rooms for our office/gym/whatever as it didn't make sense to give over one of the biggest rooms for a spare room that'll only be used occasionally when we use the others all the time'.

I'm sure there are certain types of lock where you have to order a key by post and can't just get them cut. I'd consider installing one of those and saying it came with the house and that you only have two keys and then 'loan' them one of those for their visit making sure it's got lots of fluffy keyrings and a personal photographs attached!

Have you considered prompting them to buy a caravan or chalet for when they're over here? Park Resorts were selling (fairly run down) chalets from £10,000 at Camber sands the last time I was there! Maybe even offer to go halves with them, tell them how fab it'll be, they'll have somewhere to stay and you can go down and stay with them some weekends, etc, etc. Better still, get their other children to come in on it too, stress how much fun it'd be for the ones with kids. When the others realise they paying a share of the rent to house their parents you'll have a bit of back up at least!

Good luck with it all, I don't envy you!

Jowo_2

Grandmama wrote: »

I mentioned the UK tax situation as I live and work in the Isle of Man. I have lived as an ex-pat since 1991 and I have to watch how many days I spend in the UK (IOM not part of UK). This is difficult as with family in UK I visit the UK just under the 90 days. Over 91 days and I will be liable for tax on all my offshore accounts and earnings! I do pay my due taxes to the Isle of Man Inland Revenue which are a great less than UK.

Apologies for going off topic to respond to this, though it could have ramifications for the OPs in-laws. Recently, HMRC won a court case against an expat who was diligent about the 90 day rule as they proved that he still had strong ties to the UK despite the limited time he spent there. I think they cited his ownership of a property in the UK as a determining factor to show he was domaciled in the UK but there were other factors, too, which they used as supporting evidence, I just can't remember them.