Who should pay?

Jarvissa

HE should pay for the first and second dates at least...

"If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning!"

(My personal mantra!)

hieveryone

Jarvissa wrote: »

HE should pay for the first and second dates at least...

"If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning!"

(My personal mantra!)

Quite like that!

Lotus-eater

I think this thread shows how hard it is for men today, He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.

I like holding doors open for women, but I'll do that for men as well, but I will let women go through the door first.
Contrary I'm sure to popular belief, I'm actually very good at treating women like women, problem is, some want to be treated like men, or non gender specific persons :cool:

As for not looking at breasts, poor poor men, we're indoctrinated in our teenage years by a bosom infatuated society, to do nothing but dream about and look at them, then we spend the next few years learning not to do it.

Brallaqueen

We need signs. Colour coded ones!
People who expect to be paid for are then easily identifiable to those who expect to pay. Perfect match, and saves awkwardness with those who prefer to split.

Chivalry etc aside, as long as people know and are happy with the way they are being treated I can't see a problem with it. Problems arise when expectations are mismatched and miss "woo me" ends up with mr "share with me" or whatever.

I actually make a point to tell my dates that I prefer to split. If that's not their bag they are free to cancel.

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think this thread shows how hard it is for men today, He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.

I like holding doors open for women, but I'll do that for men as well, but I will let women go through the door first.
Contrary I'm sure to popular belief, I'm actually very good at treating women like women, problem is, some want to be treated like men, or non gender specific persons :cool:

As for not looking at breasts, poor poor men, we're indoctrinated in our teenage years by a bosom infatuated society, to do nothing but dream about and look at them, then we spend the next few years learning not to do it.

Well if you are someone who wants to behave a certain way in a relationship and she is someone who doesn't appreciate that particular behaviour then you were never going to be a match anyway. Better to find out early on and avoid wasting each other's time!

I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'treating a woman like a woman' though. What does that entail? What does my second x chromosome mean in terms of how I function in society? Personally I much prefer people who treat everybody like human beings.

Bufger

I always do what honeypop has said (im male by the way). I'll always be the first to get my wallet out but i would be very suprised if my date just sat there and smiled, most women dont like to be in anyones pocket so it would say something about her character to me. If it was the other way around i would say 'next ones on me and no arguement!', this just shows you're willing to pay your own way, you're strong and independant and you're willing to put as much into the relationship as you get out of it (not just financially, it does potray this in a symbolic way i think).

I like an independant woman, i also like a balance where im allowed to pay where i really want to with minimal resistance and she can do the same where she insists.

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'treating a woman like a woman' though. What does that entail? What does my second x chromosome mean in terms of how I function in society? Personally I much prefer people who treat everybody like human beings.

I have a feeling it would be acceptable for a woman to say, I am a woman and I want to be treated like a woman.

But not for me to say what I did. Mmmm, as I said, we really can't do right, I suspect we just keep doing what we do until we find a woman that fits into that.

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I have a feeling it would be acceptable for a woman to say, I am a woman and I want to be treated like a woman.

But not for me to say what I did. Mmmm, as I said, we really can't do right, I suspect we just keep doing what we do until we find a woman that fits into that.

I wouldn't know what it meant if a woman said it either!

So you can't explain it then?

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

I wouldn't know what it meant if a woman said it either!

So you can't explain it then?

Well I could explain what it means to me and that is to treat a woman with more respect than a man, but I suspect you don't want to hear that, which is why I didn't specify it.

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Well I could explain what it means to me and that is to treat a woman with more respect than a man, but I suspect you don't want to hear that, which is why I didn't specify it.

There you go assuming things again!

I believe in equality, which is exactly what it says on the tin. Women are no better or worse than men as a whole. We are all individuals and we ALL, male or female, deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

Putting women on some weird pedestal doesn't help anybody.