Who should pay?

Pepzofio

I know someone who once told me - and I quote -

"Y'know, I've lived on the breadline, I know what it's like to literally be living hand-to-mouth - I mean, I went on a lot of dates"

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!

I would always offer to split and like to pay my way but have no problem with being paid for on occasion - although like others I would try to get at least a token round in out of principle. I don't necessarily think the asker should foot the entire bill just because they did the asking, but if they know the other party is skint it's a nice thing to do. I do the same when I'm just going out with mates.

What I do take exception to is people inviting you out & then expecting you to foot their bill too! I had a mate who used to do this all the time - he was well known for suggesting a drink at lunchtime then saying (once the drinks had been poured) 'oh you're going to have to get these I've only got the bus fare home/left my wallet at home/haven't got any money til payday'... :mad:

Once he invited himself along when I was meeting a mutual friend, then when we got to the bar & realised neither of us had any cash on us he suggested we wait outside the pub for our other friend to arrive (with money) rather than just walk 100yds to the cash point up the round!! Another time, when forced to buy a round, he just asked one (out of 4 of us) what drink they wanted. When one of the others added 'and I'll have ***** please' he begrudingingly asked the rest of us, and actually tutted when I asked for a glass of wine (rather than a lemonade!) Needless to say, he didn't get invited anywhere very much after those episodes.

xmaslolly76

I would go expecting to be paid for but if an offer of going halves on the bill is rejected then i just say a polite thank you. subsequent dates would usually either be taken in turns or 50/50 :-)

Chinkle

The asker should pay for the first date - if they like each other and a second date is agreed then the other person should offer to pay. After that it should be 50/50 or proportional unless its a treat or special occasion.

If you expect someone to consistently pay for the pleasure of your company - would that continue to the point where they were leaving you folded notes on the bedside table in the morning???

notakid

Wow, I can't believe the attitude that if you are invited then you don't put your hand in your pocket.

I mean you wouldn't accept if you didn't want to go would you? Its not like you are doing them a favour?

Pay up your own half. I loathe the idea that people in this day and age still expect to be paid to keep someone company. Its horrible, it really is. Demeaning.

kegg_2

my 12 year old son took his girlfriend to kfc at the weekend.

He paid for a bargin bucket for them to share. I must have a word with him about equality:rotfl:

starbump

The man should always pay. I'm long since married/attached but when I was dating, if I paid then there wouldn't be a second date. No exceptions. If you can't afford two cups of coffee then a stroll in the park is free and quite romantic.

I really don't care for quibbling over a few pence and splitting bills. If it's a friend (not a date) then we take turns paying the whole bill. It's easier, less stressful and works out pretty even over time.

SandC

If I was asked out I would always offer to pay half but would not argue if they wanted to treat me. If I had a meal paid for me I would probably buy a round of drinks at the pub afterwards if we went on somewhere.

When things become a bit more established I will either go 50/50 or take turns but if the bloke earns loads more than me (which is usually the case) I'm now happy for them to treat me if they want to. It would work the other want around if I earned a lot more than him, of course.

My last ex earned loads more than me and we were long distance so I used to let him pay for meals and drinks but I would always pay half the hotel bill when we would meet up about halfway between our two homes. I could not have afforded to do the hotel/weekend away stuff insisting on paying 50/50.

Hermia

notakid wrote: »

Wow, I can't believe the attitude that if you are invited then you don't put your hand in your pocket.

I mean you wouldn't accept if you didn't want to go would you? Its not like you are doing them a favour?

Pay up your own half. I loathe the idea that people in this day and age still expect to be paid to keep someone company. Its horrible, it really is. Demeaning.

If I asked someone out on a date I would expect to pay (and have done). A lot of guys that have asked me out have insisted on paying and been horrified when I tried to get out my purse. I would expect to pay for the second date.

The problem with asking someone out and then expecting them to pay half on a first date is that you don't necessarily know how much they can afford. In my experience the first date asker chooses the restaurant. A guy once took me to a very posh restaurant on a first date. He earned tens of thousands more than me and if he had expected me to pay half I literally would have used up my entire food budget for that month! If you expect someone to pay half when you ask them out then you need to take the time to find out their financial circumstances which could make for an awkward conversation!

griff2010

Some of the woman here make me laugh. There is another name for people who EXPECT men to pay for everything. I personally would never be with a girl like that. If I wanted an escort or a hooker i'd pay for that but not a person who was my partner. Yes I treat my girlfriend quite a bit but she also treats me to and that's the way it should be. If people think they need to be paid for there company then it kinda shows what type a person they are And I don't know of many men who would do this for a long time unless they were either desperate or had very little self esteem.

notakid

Well, then you arrange something else, a cheaper place. I've never been on a date where I've had no input or been asked where I'd like to go.

Expensive places to eat are nice but I think, for most first dates they are rare and far between. Tbh once I'd been on a few dates with someone of course I'd let them pay for an expensive meal if thats what they wanted to do, but on a first/second date?

But then again, I've never gone out with anyone that rich! :rotfl:

Casting my mind back over my dim and distant past, I've been married over 20 years! I had been on dates where the man paid, but I always offered to go half and I'd always make sure that I'd pay for something, drinks, taxi, popcorn. I would never want to feel "brought". I was a poor student too, so money was always an issue!

I had a male friend who asked a girl out and let her choose where to go, she said Alton Towers, so he drove there, paid entry fee, meal, drinks, she then demanded a bag of pic and mix. It was the straw that broke the camels back. He said no, buy it yourself. She threw a massive strop and wouldn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Nice girl!