Who should pay?

Lotus-eater

I did assume right though, didn't I?

I just do as I was taught by my Dad, to be a gentleman, my OH appreciates it, I couldn't give a rats ar*e what anyone else thinks about it.
Some women like it and some hate it, you are in the hating it camp, some aren't, which it is why as I pointed out, it's hard for men.
Which you don't agree with, or you do?

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I did assume right though, didn't I?

I just do as I was taught by my Dad, to be a gentleman, my OH appreciates it, I couldn't give a rats ar*e what anyone else thinks about it.
Some women like it and some hate it, you are in the hating it camp, some aren't, which it is why as I pointed out, it's hard for men.
Which you don't agree with, or you do?

I don't agree that its hard for men actually. As I stated earlier, reactions to traditional chivalry are a good early indicator of compatibility. You've found someone who feels the same way as you do about it and it makes you both happy.

I don't think its hard at all to behave the way you feel is right and decide based on people's responses to it if they are people you want to know or not. Isn't that what we all do all the time? Surely your goal isn't to impress all women all the time is it? Because that would be impossible, us being unique individuals and all!

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

I don't agree that its hard for men actually. As I stated earlier, reactions to traditional chivalry are a good early indicator of compatibility. You've found someone who feels the same way as you do about it and it makes you both happy.

I don't think its hard at all to behave the way you feel is right and decide based on people's responses to it if they are people you want to know or not. Isn't that what we all do all the time? Surely your goal isn't to impress all women all the time is it? Because that would be impossible, us being unique individuals and all!

You're just running around in circles and agreeing with me now, apart from saying you think it's easy for a man to treat a woman the way she wants to be treated.

I haven't said anything about impressing women all the time, I have merely said I treat them the way I think they ought to be treated, I suspect I would hold a door open for you the first time, see the contempt on your face and not bother again.

The facts are that men of reproducing age are pre programmed to try to impress women anyway, if they do that by instinct or not. They just do it in different ways. You want us to be all the same, we can't, it's built into us for us to be different.

GSXRCarlos

As a bloke, i'd expect to pay - end of

It's the price you pay for that persons company

It's about respect, but if the other person wanted to pay, i'd have a jovial arguement about it and still pay

On of the girls from work (friend) now owes me 3 pub lunches, she'll be lucky if she can ever pay me back - she'd have to put the money in my bank before i'd take it off her

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

You're just running around in circles and agreeing with me now, apart from saying you think it's easy for a man to treat a woman the way she wants to be treated.

I haven't said anything about impressing women all the time, I have merely said I treat them the way I think they ought to be treated, I suspect I would hold a door open for you the first time, see the contempt on your face and not bother again. Actually, I smile and say thank you whenever someone of any gender holds a door open for me.

The facts are that men of reproducing age are pre programmed to try to impress women anyway, if they do that by instinct or not. They just do it in different ways. You want us to be all the same, we can't, it's built into us for us to be different.Hmm, I'm fairly sure I've said the opposite repeatedly. I want people to be treated like the unique individuals they are rather than have assumptions made about them because of their gender.

I think we might be poles apart on this one I'm afraid.

griff2010

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

As a bloke, i'd expect to pay - end of

It's the price you pay for that persons company

It's about respect, but if the other person wanted to pay, i'd have a jovial arguement about it and still pay

On of the girls from work (friend) now owes me 3 pub lunches, she'll be lucky if she can ever pay me back - she'd have to put the money in my bank before i'd take it off her

You shouldn't have to pay for someones company to be in a equal relationship. Why do you feel the need you have to pay? It's not going to be a hooker you are with if it's a supposed relationship. No self respecting woman would allow this and i'm guessing you are single now at the moment? Also any woman who does allow you to pay for EVERYTHING then I am sure she is with you for all the wrong reasons. Do you feel the need that you have to buy woman for them to like you? As I said earlier in this thread it's good to treat 1 another and be good to 1 another but for 1 person to pay for EVERYTHING then that is wrong.

rabbitsmush

Every date I have ever been on the man has paid though I have always offered to split anything. I would always make a nice 3 course dinner the next time, if there is a next time. Feminine and nice to show off your cooking skills .
People seem to put too much thought into dating nowadays like it is a job interveiw whatever happened to the romance? My OH won me over with a first date to a waterfall full of fossilised shells :rotfl: but it wouldnt have mattered where he had taken me, I already adored him. Do whatever feels right on a date, a guy who doesnt ask you out again because you offered to pay/didnt pay ect, isnt worth your time anyhow.

Phillspad

Am I glad I do not date anymore!! I agree with what was said before "a man is dammed if he does and dammed if he doesn't". I am a male and know my heart. If I am misinterpreted then it's not my problem. It is a shame though. I opened a door for a woman to go through to the office first (she was carrying a coffee from the machine at work). Her toned reply flabbergasted me "don't you think I am capable of opening it myself".
It does boil down to state of one's heart. I am very polite to everyone. Shame their is so much anger around especially women acting with such a chip on their shoulders. They won't admit it. I agree men can as well. We are all human but nothing wrong with manners and having a caring heart.
From what I read here, and if I was in that situation, I would expect to pay on the first date and see how it goes for future dates. If it becomes a true heartfelt relationship then what suits will exercise its course.