Who should pay?

timberflake

Person_one wrote: »

A night out with a man you aren't remotely interested in is not most women's idea of a good time, no matter how much free food is included! You might want to consider that there could be other reasons for not getting some of those second dates...

Yea, maybe they know that most men arent stupid enough to keep putting their hand in their pocket to keep taking them out so they quit why they're ahead!

hieveryone

A question for all the girls who have said 'equality' etc: would you find it rude if a man didn't open a door for you? Or didn't give you a seat on the train/bus/ etc as someone else said?

It seems that there are certain standards that a man used to have to fill to 'impress' a lady, but that these are slipping and women are willing to accept more and more?

Person_one

hieveryone wrote: »

A question for all the girls who have said 'equality' etc: would you find it rude if a man didn't open a door for you? Or didn't give you a seat on the train/bus/ etc as someone else said?

It seems that there are certain standards that a man used to have to fill to 'impress' a lady, but that these are slipping and women are willing to accept more and more?

I think its rude to walk through a door and not hold it for the person following you through, whatever genders are involved. I see absolutely no need for the big song and dance of the man getting to the door first, holding it open and standing to the side to let the woman through.

I don't think I'm entitled to a seat on a train just because I'm female. I think you only need to give up your seat for people who are elderly, disabled or heavily pregnant.

All chivalry does is create a weird void between men and women as though they are different species and put women on a completely artificial pedestal. Women fart, snore and fall on our backsides sometimes too, we're not so special!

notakid

But as a fit woman why would I expect a Man to give up a seat he had paid for? Just because I'm a woman? Would you really expect a male OAP with hip problems to move because you are female?

Same with opening doors, I'll open doors for others, its polite. And I can open my own doors without help if no one is there. Why would it matter?

I want to be treated equally, I don't want to speak to Men who address my chest rather than my face and I don't want to give them excuses to treat me differently.

Pepzofio

hieveryone wrote: »

A question for all the girls who have said 'equality' etc: would you find it rude if a man didn't open a door for you? Or didn't give you a seat on the train/bus/ etc as someone else said?

It seems that there are certain standards that a man used to have to fill to 'impress' a lady, but that these are slipping and women are willing to accept more and more?

Not at all! I find it charming if they do and appreciate it - but I never expect it. In fact I'll often hold a door open for a male friend to walk through first. I'd find it rude if they shut a door in my face, but then the same would go for a woman doing that to me!

I don't see that as 'accepting slipping standards' though. I'd rather open my own doors and have (in theory anyway) equal access to jobs/opportunities, equitable salaries etc.

ETA - The whole seat on a train thing I actually find a bit awkward, especially if it happens with a stranger! I agree it should purely be on the basis of infirmity, not gender.

hieveryone

Just to make clear, I've not stated that I would want someone to stand for me, I was just opening up the question to others.

However, in the case that I am seeing someone, 'dating', or whatever it's called, yes I'd expect them to open a door for me or if we were on a crowded train, to let me sit rather than him rushing ahead to nab a seat. I remember being shoved aside when getting on a train only to look ahead and see that it was a man who had pushed me aside to get his own backside on first, totally rude.

I don't see anything wrong with expecting a bit of chivalry from a man, someone who knows how to treat a lady. Men and women are not equal YET, no matter what anyone says.

Person_one

hieveryone wrote: »

Men and women are not equal YET, no matter what anyone says.

Absolutely not, there's an incredibly long way to go! But perpetuating the idea that woman are dainty and frail and to be handled with kid gloves is not going to help us get there.

jamespir

i always pay

PolishBigSpender

hieveryone wrote: »

A question for all the girls who have said 'equality' etc: would you find it rude if a man didn't open a door for you? Or didn't give you a seat on the train/bus/ etc as someone else said?

It seems that there are certain standards that a man used to have to fill to 'impress' a lady, but that these are slipping and women are willing to accept more and more?

I don't expect a stranger to give me a sit (not until I'm old at least), but my fiance gives me a sit every time. He didn't at the beginning and was surprised I found it bad manners, but he learnt! I do expect a man to let me through the door first - all my friends and family do that, even my grandfather!
On the other hand, I hate when a man tries to kiss my hand - especially old, sleazy guys. Ewww!

flowerscotland

When I was single and actually going on dates I went out with a lovely guy, he insisted on paying for everything and gave me a talking to when I bought him a drink :rotfl: I offered to half, but he just wouldn't have it.

My ex was a total tight get, and would let me pay for everything.

My b/f and I half for everything now. He has a house to run and a daughter to look after so it's not fair to expect him to pay for everything.

It is nice to be spoiled once in a while though