DLA for incontinence

MrsHelpful

bestpud wrote: »

FWIW, my dad has an colostomy bag and he sunbathes on the beach (or used to) - he just makes sure he wears high waist shorts. Come to that, he wears high waste undies and trousers anyway.

I'm sure he could find some swim shorts that are high enough for the bag but baggy enough to hide a pad? I would hope so anyway as he's young to be covering up like that.

I used to tell him that all the time, I think that it is a psychological body image thing, once ever he took his top off on the beach, the stoma nurse had given him a cap to put over the stoma so he did not have to wear a bag, this was covered with an adhesive surgical dressing about 5" by 3", he was fine with that as it just looked like he had had a small op or something. However when he went to remove the dressing that night it also removed the skin because it is so friable, so he never used it again.

I can't understand why he prefers to soil his clothes rather than wear a different type of pad (I thanked the 'nappy' post as I could see it referred to pads, although I will be honest and say I raised an eyebrow at the use of the word nappy). I do know though that a lot of people call them nappies.

Maybe it is just me then, I worked in a nursing home years ago and the nappies were the big green pamper type nappy, we also nursed my gran at home and she wore those too the others were pads. I think the next step up for him would probably have to be those, in which case he would no longer be able to work, he would find that even more humiliating I think, but his urology nurse has never suggested these anyway, possibly because of his age.

Tell him to get some advice and hep completing the appeal if he decides to go down that road, but I do think it depends on whether he is like this because he refuses to accept alternatives, or whether there is no other options for him.

If it's the latter, I think DLA would be appropriate as he has mobility needs that are likely to make life more expensive for him.

Also, has he got a RADAR key for public toilets?

He doesn't have a RADAR key will suggest he looks into that.
Thanks

MrsHelpful

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I am not in the habit of either lying or being called a liar. Care homes I know have used the term nappy as a general term for incontinence products of any sort.

Also, in post #17 you say "refusing to go in the pool as the incontinence pad would become saturated and visible through a pair of swimming trunks." which I took to mean he didn't use them, rather than that he used them but couldn't swim in them; this is why I thanked someone for suggesting he use something.

You are obviously a deeply rude and troubled person and your ex is obviously well rid of you. I hope, for his sake, he doesn't have as big a chip on his shoulder as you do.

Have been advised of your frequent contributions and belittling of posters , I think in the latter paragraph you are indeed referring to yourself. I am never rude, I merely reciprocate in the same manner I am spoken to.

johnwayne

MrsHelpful wrote: »

He doesn't have a RADAR key will suggest he looks into that.
Thanks

A radar key is definitely a good idea. They are a godsend for me as I have mobility issues.

http://www.radar.org.uk/radarwebsite/tabid/41/default.aspx

May I just add that I think you are a very good person to be doing this for your ex. It must be hard putting up with all of the hurtfull remarks on here.

I too assumed that nappies are indeed nappies, as when the nurse came to see my grandad she made the difference between nappies and pads quite clear. I do think however that it depends on what nurse you get and what experiences you have had with regards as to what people call them.

Mupette

pendulum wrote: »

You are the one who has put a quote from Oldernotwiser in your sig, which is childish and unnecessary. Reflects badly on you.

Umm whats that to do with this thread, will it help the OP?
Don't even go there with me please.

Sorry forgot to add, (where are my manners)

Thank you for your non judgmental, impartial input.

MrsHelpful

johnwayne wrote: »

A radar key is definitely a good idea. They are a godsend for me as I have mobility issues.

May I just add that I think you are a very good person to be doing this for your ex. It must be hard putting up with all of the hurtfull remarks on here.

I too assumed that nappies are indeed nappies, as when the nurse came to see my grandad she made the difference between nappies and pads quite clear. I do think however that it depends on what nurse you get and what experiences you have had with regards as to what people call them.

Thanks John, I love him to death and he feels the same, we just didn't work as a married couple :rotfl:. He is like a brother to me, the remarks did upset me last night, but had a number of PM's in relation to things that were said so now it is water off a ducks back.
I have never heard of an incontinence pad being called a nappy, so I guess you learn something new every day. To me a nappy is something that covers you back and front and fastens about your waist, and a pad is something you place in your undearwear.
I did take it to heart though as he has suffered enough, and the thought of him walking around in a giant tena nappy which is how I took it really upset me, as I believe if that day comes then he won't leave the house.
There have been many kind and helpful posts, for the minority I guess you have to take it where it comes from.

quietheart

welshmoneylover wrote: »

What a sad post and what a dreadful condition. Glad he got his badge, sounds as if he needs it.

Just what I was thinking, some people have it tough.
I can't quite believe the lack of empathy some people have.
And op, how sweet of you to still care and try and help despite him being your ex.:T

skcollobcat10

I have just come back from holiday, the hotel I stayed at was built specifically for wheelchair disabled. There must have been about 120 wheelchair users there nearly all of them were using the 3 swimming pools and there were quite a few quadraplegics, but with help they managed the pools no problem.

I was just thinking that there must be some incontinence product suitable for going swimming in.

bestpud

Mupette wrote: »

Umm whats that to do with this thread, will it help the OP?
Don't even go there with me please.

Sorry forgot to add, (where are my manners)

Thank you for your non judgmental, impartial input.

Do you actually believe what you are coming out with, or are you a WUM?

You are the one damaging this thread - the very thing you are berating others for!

Give it up, for goodness sake - you are making yourself look daft now!

Mupette

bestpud wrote: »

Do you actually believe what you are coming out with, or are you a WUM?

You are the one damaging this thread - the very thing you are berating others for!

Give it up, for goodness sake - you are making yourself look daft now!

Oh dear someone seems to have got their knickers in a twist.

Since when was it not allowed to say thank you to someone in a thread

would you like to explain to me what a WUM is please?

bestpud

Mupette wrote: »

Oh dear someone seems to have got their knickers in a twist.

would you like to explain to me what a WUM is please?

Quite!

WUM = wind up merchant