shall we have a wedding chat thread?

nessie216

Hi guys,
Thought i would share my fears/problems/joys about my wedding
Im getting married 27th August this year - so far i have booked register office(£107), wedding breakfast venue (£900 approx - H2B parents paying for (after i said everyone could pay for their own meal! lol), reception venue (£300 room hire - £12 per head for buffet), brought dress (£625 which includes alterations), brought shoes (2 pairs!!! (1 for £23 & 1 for £18)), disco (mate of brothers dad for £100) and photographer (mates auntie £50 and prints at cost!)
Hoping to stick within £3,000, i will if i don't include the wedding breakfast because we are not paying for it.
Have done invitations for ceremony but then H2B mother complained about my poem about asking for money & b&q vouchers (we already have house & all bits for it). So have to change the invitations for her side of the family! My side have already got theirs! So i hve now refused to do those invitations H2B has to do them himself! (been 2 weeks and still not done them!
Also annoying cos H2B mother said we had to invite 12 of their side (only allowed 20 at ceremony (my 10 sorted!)) even though she was 90% sure 2 wouldn't turn up. SHE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
To top it all off i got blackmailed into having a 18month old at ceremony & breakfast (i didn't want children there cos i don't have any of my own) who i don't even know! Now i have nightmares about kid screaming at ceremony and throwing/putting food on my dress at breakfast.
20 Weeks to go - still so much to do! Have already lost nearly 3st but would like to loose approx 2st more in 14weeks! It is do-able!
Just needed to rant and get things off my chest!

Q: How are you spliting costs of wedding between you and H2Bs and/or parents?

bubbles0169

hi and welcome nessie this is theee place to rant dont worry lol x
im sorry S2BMIL is doing your head in if i was you id just tell her straight all the things youve told us about why you cant have the things she says you must have on your day!!
we are paying for it all ourselves, thats why we arent getting married til 2012 as itll give us time to save up!
my grandad says he would like to give us some money but i dont know how much and dont want to ask so im leaving it out!
well done on the weight loss your doing well
come back whenever you want to say how its all going x

Lexxi

In laws to be told my mum that they needed to sit down and discuss who was doing what. We're all a little confused as me and oh are paying ourselves and they know that.

Raspabarbas, can you get in touch with your photographer and tell them about the roadworks, your photographer should know some places in the area to take pics, or include the roadworks!!

we have a 2nd interview next week so hopefully shold be back in work soon... Fingers crossed!!

Alyssa_C_2

I am a little peeved my H2B family has not offered anything, my parents are wonderful and have given us £1K and my sister is also wonderful and given us £500 . However, not a sausage from his family. I've asked him about it and he shrugged. :cool: He nearly died that day.
I do sometimes wonder about families, they do their best to test us don't they?

Sazbo

Alyssa_C wrote: »

I do sometimes wonder about families, they do their best to test us don't they?

Never a truer word! We're paying for everything ourselves, but then we are a bit older and not exactly starting out in life, so can afford things, altho saying that we are still having a very modest wedding. It still upsets me a little though that my parents haven't offered to pay for anything. This is entirely in keeping with their tendency to 'self-absorbedness', shall we say! So not surprising, but still a bit hurtful. H2B wouldn't have things any other way, he wants to pay, he wants us to have the perfect day and doesn't care if no one contributes. My parents are long retired and don't have any money, but it's not even about the money, a little contribution of their time to help out with something, to give support in other ways... but they're not going to change now, so there's no point me even saying all this really:o Thanks for reading. I'll stop now lol!

xx

nessie216

My parents have offered to help with money - but due to my mum not working, dad struggling to get paid they cannot tell me how much. But my mum has helped with the invitations and choosing the dress etc.
I spose i am lucky in that respects. Also my Nana is making the cake and getting it iced/decorated by a friend, which is her contribution - considering she is retired and my grandad has just been made redundant - i think it is a huge contribution!
I shouldn't moan about S2BMIL really, they are paying for wedding breakfast, but just find it so annoying that she can pick faults in eveything - even the photographer. We had some pics taken for mothers day for her, my mum and nana and S2BMIL said there was a shadow where it shouldn't be! My mum & nana didn't have a single problem with them! (well not to my face). What annoys me most is S2BMIL doesn't say this to me, she tells H2B who then has to tell me!

bubbles0169

Lexxi wrote: »

In laws to be told my mum that they needed to sit down and discuss who was doing what. We're all a little confused as me and oh are paying ourselves and they know that.

Raspabarbas, can you get in touch with your photographer and tell them about the roadworks, your photographer should know some places in the area to take pics, or include the roadworks!!

we have a 2nd interview next week so hopefully shold be back in work soon... Fingers crossed!!

i can just imagine a sepia background with just the colour of raspas dress and shoes showing, her wearing a yellow builders helmet, one foot perfectly poised on a shovel with H2B opposite her with another shovel it would be very urban!:)

AFAIK my mum wont pay for anything as shes always skint!
my dads(him and my mum split up when i was little) dead so i cant have his money!
H2B's family are very generous, they paid for us all to go to a theme park yesterday! ive a feeling that they will offer to pay for something but i wont ask them

Sazbo it is a shame your parents arent contributing thier time, do they even think you want help though?
maybe they just need a nudge and for you to say 'actually could you do so and so for us'
and do not stop telling us how you feel, thats what were here for!!:)

bubbles0169

fair does nessie she sounds like a right nit picking ninny!!
it looks like your going to have to join that very common club of 'ive got a mother in law from hell'
im sure you wont be the last to join either

RainbowDrops

Helllooooo!
After making a few posts in other threads I thought I'd join in with this one!

Got engaged in December on a trip to Oz

We've held off making any plans untill the last few weeks as the OH is trying to get a job (long story).
Anyway, we decided to get started on planning a June 2011 wedding.
Been looking at a few venues & tried some dresses already, and I'm starting to get over excited :rotfl:
I'm finding it all very distracting, and I keep sneaking on here when I should be working :shhh:

Looking to have a civil ceremony in a Tudor Style barn, or an out door ceremony just north of London.
I originally come from a Welsh Farm, hence the farmy theme!

The OH has a big family, which might cause number issues, but we've made it clear from the start that we don't want to sacrifice our friends for the sake of a long lost 2nd cousin once removed

Got some more venues to see this weekend (although I feel like we've already foun "the one").

I should REALLY get back to work....

Sazbo

bubbles0169 wrote: »

Sazbo it is a shame your parents arent contributing thier time, do they even think you want help though?
maybe they just need a nudge and for you to say 'actually could you do so and so for us'
and do not stop telling us how you feel, thats what were here for!!:)

Aww thanks bubbles You're probably completely right - I've never been very good at asking for help, so maybe they don't know. And tbh, everything is pretty much done anyway, but I guess I thought it would have been nice if they'd at least offered. But it's all cool tho really

RainbowDrops wrote: »

I should REALLY get back to work....

Me too! :rotfl: