How much to give OH for rent bills etc?

Errata

I think a percentage which relates to bring home pay is a fair contribution to all the bills, and I'm absolutely certain the household tasks should be split percentage wise according to the hours worked ! And good luck with that

Lotus-eater

Well I'm a smug git, we have separate accounts and full access to the others account.
I trust her to the max and would even if we split up. I trust her not to spend too much without discussing it with me and vice versa.


When I earned alot of money, it went into the pot for either of us, now I earn almost nothing, her money goes into the pot for either of us.

We've never argued about money, apart from she's always trying to get me to spend more on clothes.
However, she nicked my big bar of caramel the other day (I was saving it for that right night) and we're still arguing about it!

Greener_Grass

I don't agree that having a joint account and splitting everything 50/50 depends on how long you've been together and if you're married or not. I am not married and have had a joint account with OH since 2 months of moving in together. 6 months after meeting. I agree it just wouldn't feel right if we had seperate accounts. I would hate to have to be struggling and ask him for money or vice versa.

determined_new_ms

Me and my OH have a joint account for all of our household expenses and going out etc. He earns a 1/3 less than I do so I put 2/3 of our outgoings into the account and he 1/3. As he gets payrises he puts a little more in and I a little less - he recently had a slight rise and that is what has happened.

We both have some debts - mine I accured when I was a single parent and not earning enough to survive so ended up living on credit and then paying for the pleasure!:o And in Dec wrote my car off in the icy weather and had to buy a car on my CC. He acrued his travelling the world and living the high life. So we pay our own debts separately. We discussed this tonight actually as I will have my DFD around June/July and wondered how we will do it then, but he is very clear he wants to pay this himself. When the debts are paid we intend to have one economy, probably live off my salary and save his - if we can be that frugal that is!!

BUT I will be having my own savings account. I love him dearl, we have a great realtionship and he is a wonderful man who I trust would never hurt me or do anything to make my life bad. But it doesn't hurt to "keep something back", many ppl have thought their husbands/wives/partners are the ppl they will spend their life with, and things go wrong and then the joint account gets wiped...

The way we work our finances as a percentage works really well for us and means we can afford to go out and do the things we want to

Oldernotwiser

brians_daughter wrote: »

I would bet that if we did a 'poll' on those who keep finances seperate and those that are joint we would find its the people who have been together a long time ie 20 years plus that have joint finances. It simply is a change in societies norms and values that has us differing in opinion

!

Perhaps the people who have been together for 20 years have managed to do this because they believe in the importance of being a couple and don't feel the need to keep finances separate "just in case" they split up?

seven-day-weekend

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Perhaps the people who have been together for 20 years have managed to do this because they believe in the importance of being a couple and don't feel the need to keep finances separate "just in case" they split up?

Agree, ONW. I fear for any relationship where the partners make contingency plans 'in case' they split up.

kindofagilr

brians_daughter wrote: »

I would bet that if we did a 'poll' on those who keep finances seperate and those that are joint we would find its the people who have been together a long time ie 20 years plus that have joint finances. It simply is a change in societies norms and values that has us differing in opinion


!

Nope, I have been with OH for 3 years now, we are engaged not married yet, we bought a house together in April 2009 and have had a joint account since.

I trust him with my life, I can certrainly trust him with our money too and vice versa

floss2

laura.1984 wrote: »

We always split the things 50/50. I earn less money but i dont eat less food or use less power than him. I dont get people who do % its not fair on the highest earner

Equally, I don't think it's fair to split everything 50/50 - would you feel it fair that I could not afford to contribute to joint savings for our wedding or to buy my OH a birthday present because I have had to add that money to my 50/50 share of the bills, because I don't?!

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Agree, ONW. I fear for any relationship where the partners make contingency plans 'in case' they split up.

it is not a "contingency plan" - I was on my own for over 7 years before moving in with OH, as was he, and we both had our own independent finances already set up. Another factor is that my credit rating is very slowly improving from being absolutely rock-bottom, whereas OH's is very good, and we did not want to jeopardise that by pooling our money into a joint account and bringing his rating down as we have plans for our future which involve borrowing.

I have also been in the situation, as other posters have, of having a joint account that was emptied after payday when my ex left after 15 years of marriage, leaving me & 2 kids with £3.76 to live on for a month - he even took their family allowance!!

Finally, if you take the value of my 5 week-old car paid in cash by OH, the balance of my ISA and the balance of my wedding savings account (see earlier post!), I probably have a reasonable 65% share of our available funds.....so why fret over not having a joint account?!

Lotus-eater

Maybe it's just better to say that different things work for different people. I wouldn't want to be anything but totally open with my OH, yet I haven't met anyone else I would want to be the same way with.
In my other relationships I would have held my money separate for me only, had I lived with them full time.

nearlyrich

This is one of those emotive subjects which polarises opinions, why does it have to be one way or the other, just accept that different people do things differently. A joint account is not a symbol of eternal love and security and the lack of one doesn't mean they are ready to call it a day or don't love each other enough.