How much to give OH for rent bills etc?

Gemsgalore

I have only seen messy splits when the finances were seperate in the relationship. When I split with my OH we split everything equally as that was how the relationship was.

Because there was no 'his' and 'hers', there were no arguments or animosity.....and I hated him with a passion when we split!!

euronorris

Gemsgalore wrote: »

I have only seen messy splits when the finances were seperate in the relationship. When I split with my OH we split everything equally as that was how the relationship was.

Because there was no 'his' and 'hers', there were no arguments or animosity.....and I hated him with a passion when we split!!

Well, we've clearly had different experiences in our lives.

It's great that you were able to be so civil when you hated him so much. And I know others manage to do this also, but the majority I've seen have been.......god awful. What starts as a little disagreement about this or that easily gets blown out of proportion.

specsappeal

Me and DH have always had joint accounts regardless of who is working or not (sometimes i have been in work and he hasn't and vice versa). For us personally our relationship is about commitment in every way including financially. If we ever split up then everything will get split down the middle.
I understand that this doesn't appeal to some couples and each to their own i guess but i have to admit that i find the whole separate accounts thing plain strange.

seven-day-weekend

Gemsgalore wrote: »

That kind of set up is my idea of hell. I can't imagine arguing over who bought what and who paid more for something.....it's alien to me. We have never had an argument over money and to the poster who said that she wouldn't like to ask if she could buy something......it's just not like that at all....it's just respecting the other person by saying ''can we afford this or do you think we shouldn't buy it''. I guess it's just everything is 'we' rather than you and I.

What happens if one of you give up work to have kids then.....does the other person not pay the bills because one isn't earning? What if you have a disabled child and can never go back to work. What happens if one of you is taken ill and is unable to work again.......does the other person then do a runner because you have no money? What would happen to couples who keep money seperate if these things happened and only one wage is coming in?

I really wish I coould thank you more than once for that post.I agree with everything you have said.

We also (in over 38 years of marriage) have never had a disagreement about money.

emsywoo123

Well isn't this thread full of smug people :mad:

Congrats on having such financially sound relationships.

seven-day-weekend

Sorry if you don't like the fact I've never argued with my husband about money.

It's just a statement of fact. I'm not trying to be smug about it or better than anyone else. We do know what it is like to be in debt/ scraping the barrel / broke/ on a small income.

I agree it must be difficult if you and your partner have different ideas about how to organise your finances.

emsywoo123

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Sorry if you don't like the fact I've never argued with my husband about money.

It's just a statement of fact. I'm not trying to be smug about it or better than anyone else. We do know what it is like to be in debt/ scraping the barrel / broke/ on a small income.

I agree it must be difficult if you and your partner have different ideas about how to organise your finances.

My post was not directly aimed at you, but at the general theory that there must be something wrong with couples that have to seperate finances, or organise them differently.
Perhaps, for these couples, the fact that they do this is the very thing that makes them successful!;)

Sunshine12

Gemsgalore wrote: »

I have only seen messy splits when the finances were seperate in the relationship. When I split with my OH we split everything equally as that was how the relationship was.

Because there was no 'his' and 'hers', there were no arguments or animosity.....and I hated him with a passion when we split!!

Generally, I dont think amicable splits necessarily happen because of anything to do with sharing money etc. Granted it may make it easier but I think its generally a bit more complicated than that. Ive seen lots of messy splits in my time and the reasons for them being messy had nothing to do with whether they had a joint bank account or not.

euronorris

Sunshine12 wrote: »

Generally, I dont think amicable splits necessarily happen because of anything to do with sharing money etc. Granted it may make it easier but I think its generally a bit more complicated than that. Ive seen lots of messy splits in my time and the reasons for them being messy had nothing to do with whether they had a joint bank account or not.

Agreed.

But if other areas make the break up messy, then having your own finances to fall back on is extremely useful, and eases the process.

I'm not sure how much access you have/are entitled to with a joint account in the event of a split. I mean, if you had 10k in a joint savings account, what's to stop the other person from withdrawing a substantial amount of that without your agreement, during a split? How would you ever prove it was without your agreement?

Edit: There are pro's and con's to both ways of doing things.

Person_one

OH and I don't pool finances because we like our own independence and not having to consult the other or feel guilty over our purchases/spending decisions. We might be a couple but we're still two people, we haven't merged into one being just because we live together and love each other!

We both know that if we were struggling we would obviously support each other and there would be no question of 'owing' each other for the bills etc if one of us were to lose a job, go back to uni, be ill etc.