Anyone Child Free By Choice?

con_fused

Yes I am child-free by choice and it's just ended my marriage lol (after us agreeing from the start that we didn't want kids he changed his mind).

But glad to be child-free

jojododd

Hi Im child free too. Think Im abit too selfish to have them. That sounds terrible doesnt it! Dont get me wrong I love being an auntie and godmother, would do anything for them. I love children (just couldnt eat a whole one Joking) I will babysit anytime I can. I suppose Ive just got set in my ways and I like my life the way it is. I dont judge people, like sombody said earlier its your choice. I understand the fact that people constantly go on about the patter of tiny feet. Personally, I would never comment unless they bought the subject up.

Do what feels right and its your progative to change your mind or not.

Jojo:)

gull5426

Ilovecubbage wrote: »

gull5426 - It is not odd at all.
You choose what is right for you no one else can do it for you. Ignore the peeps telling you otherwise, they are eather yellous or have nothing to talk to you about. (in that case change your friends)
I was in a late teaneger stage and hated my mother, so told her I will never marry and have kids. My mother told me that I was selfish and horrible if I didn`t have kids. I coudn`t care less. It is my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even if she bothered to give it to me, I am sure I didn`t want to come to this "lovely" world, but she wanted me to.
I always wanted to have children though, don`t know why, it`s just that maternal feeling. I would have more , husband permitting.

Not everyone is destined to have them. There are some parents , which should never have any, even if they want them.
Hey, just think of the money you are saving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have three and they are eating us alive!
Just kidding , of course, I could not be with out them. So much fun. But if I didn`t have them I am sure that I would have a great time too in a different way. Travel is my way.

Don`t feel bad, ignore those people and enjoy your life to full, with kids or without. You don`t need to fill other peoples boxes!

thanks,

glad you are happy with your kids.

my sister has 2 kids and we see them maybe once a year, it does not concern me when we see them


i know kids are not for us and everyone gets it now as we are now in late thirties

sure the money we are saving is good.. so we can afford to do some nice things in our life...


i have now finally read to whole topic and it makes a very good read.

con_fused

It's weird because my husband cannot see why I don't want children - even though he had his own reasons for not wanting them initially! I guess people change.

I agree with Jojododd - I am too selfish for children but I would rather be selfish without them than have children and continuously put myself first, which you cannot do.

BubblyMumbles

con_fused wrote: »

Yes I am child-free by choice and it's just ended my marriage lol (after us agreeing from the start that we didn't want kids he changed his mind).

But glad to be child-free

I'm really sorry to hear this. Hope you're doing ok

ashleysly

i childfree aswell but some times i wish i had children to spend money on and look after to show respect

auoq86

ashleysly wrote: »

i childfree aswell but some times i wish i had children to spend money on and look after to show respect

Hi ashleysly

Have you considered investing some of your time and energy into supporting, volunteering or working with children? You don't have to have children to fulfil these roles, and you may have a lot to offer.

Barnardo's have a volunteer befriending scheme - http://www.barnardos.org.uk/volunteering_with_children_and_young_people I know someone who does this (they are CF) and really enjoy it. There are also youth clubs and groups that are often looking for volunteers.

There's also the 'Appropriate Adult' volunteer scheme where you can support young people and vulnerable adults - http://www.appropriateadult.org.uk/volunteering

Just beacuse you are CFBC doesn't necessarily mean that you don't like children, or that you have nothing to offer young people.

Bufger

i was child free by choice, both myself and my OH had both decided that kids werent for us, we wanted to have more money and do nicer things without having to plan life too much.

She's now 9 weeks pregnant and we were scared! we werent sure what to do for ages. I'm not worried about being selfish as i dont think you can be with a child, i know i'll give all my time and my energy to my family so that isnt an issue, my main worry is whether my OH will be ok and whether having kids is for her. We were so set on not having any we started to debate whether we were worthy as it wasnt wanted - with no good reason to terminate (own house, stable relationship, good jobs etc) it seemed wrong to come to such a decision.

So thats the predicament! we've now accepted the fact that we're going to have a baby and i can honestly say im delighted and im pretty sure she is too! Its still a scarey thought and i still feel bad for initially even questioning whether we wanted it but i know we can give our child an excellent start in life so why not.

Just another view from another angle for ya! :-)

poorandindenial

Hi Bufger

Congratulations (I think) on your OH's pregnancy (understandable that you are still coming to terms with the idea), I am glad that you are both happy with your decision to carry on with the pregnancy. I say don't feel bad, you thought about it probably more than people who have always wanted kids do.

Each to their own and all that (and of course everyone reserves the right to change their mind, whatever side of the child-wanting/child-free fence they sit)

Fingers crossed for you and your OH for a trouble free pregnancy.

jackieglasgow

I thought I would bump this as there's another thread on the go now, and the OP might be intersted in this one.