Breaking up!

loftus

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

How on earth am i bitter and twisted? My only concern is for the wife and daughter he has recklessley abandoned.

Perhaps you can all pop round to Mark's house and tell his family that you all are supporting him because he is such a wonderful guy??

If the wife or daughter was on here telling you THEIR version of the story i'm not sure you would be happy with the pedestal you appear to have placed Saint Mark on.

But this is true in the case of the majority of posters. You hear the OP's side of the story and people offer advice based on that. Here the OP admits he has done wrong and appears to want to do the best for everyone, so people are trying to help the situation based on that. I don't see anyone approving of his behaviour nor has the OP asked for that.
I think this site has improved a lot recently but it is still the case that a man posting details of relationship problems can get a tougher time than a woman, with more criticism and more cries of "we have only heard one side of the story".

Gemsgalore

loftus wrote: »

But this is true in the case of the majority of posters. You hear the OP's side of the story and people offer advice based on that. Here the OP admits he has done wrong and appears to want to do the best for everyone, so people are trying to help the situation based on that. I don't see anyone approving of his behaviour nor has the OP asked for that.
I think this site has improved a lot recently but it is still the case that a man posting details of relationship problems can get a tougher time than a woman, with more criticism and more cries of "we have only heard one side of the story".

I think men only get a tougher time because it's mainly women who talk on forums like this. Men mainly talk on DIY, cars etc forums. It's nice to see some men on here though as most of them on seeing the word "relationships" leave skid marks as they escape

Mark_the_owl

loftus wrote: »

I think this site has improved a lot recently but it is still the case that a man posting details of relationship problems can get a tougher time than a woman, with more criticism and more cries of "we have only heard one side of the story".

It's true though. You have only heard my side of the story & my wife would tell you exactly how she feels. I know how I feel and she'll feel a million times worse.

I'm not looking for sympathy, and if people feel the need to abuse me then fine. I understand the hurt my actions have caused, and the reality of them is hitting home. I'll end up with nothing. No one to love me, no one to share my life with and believe me no matter what abuse I get it will never make the loathing I feel for myself any more.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror, and I have to say it's the worst feeling in the world. I am staring up from the bottom of a giant abyss and I can't see any way out.

loftus

I realise that Mark but thats true of everyone that posts here who is having relationship problems - we only hear one side of the story, but in some cases people become more judgemental than in others (some, by no means all and I guess in many cases that is totally understandable because it may be that the post strikes a chord with their personal experiences).

And I agree with GemsGalore about this being the case because of the balance of male and female posters. However the advice and support given is, in most cases, excellent despite toe occasional gender issue.

Lotus-eater

Gemsgalore wrote: »

It's nice to see some men on here though as most of them on seeing the word "relationships" leave skid marks as they escape

I'm sure the picture you meant to paint, is not the one that currently sits at the front of my mind.
_pale_


ugh

Gemsgalore

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I'm sure the picture you meant to paint, is not the one that currently sits at the front of my mind.
_pale_


ugh

No, I did mean on the floor .....but since you mention it, I have yet to see mens undies that don't have the aforementioned......sorry to be gross, but I've had that conversation with GF's many a time and it's true

loftus

Gemsgalore wrote: »

No, I did mean on the floor .....but since you mention it, I have yet to see mens undies that don't have the aforementioned......sorry to be gross, but I've had that conversation with GF's many a time and it's true

How many :eek:

euronorris

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

How on earth am i bitter and twisted? My only concern is for the wife and daughter he has recklessley abandoned.

Perhaps you can all pop round to Mark's house and tell his family that you all are supporting him because he is such a wonderful guy??

If the wife or daughter was on here telling you THEIR version of the story i'm not sure you would be happy with the pedestal you appear to have placed Saint Mark on.

If you're only concern is for the wife and daughter, then why haven't you contributed ANY advice? Let alone advice that would benefit the wife and daughter!

He has not abandoned them. She has asked him to leave.

He realises he was wrong and is now trying to leave (as requested) without causing too much damage financially or pyschologically.

All I've seen you do is criticise his behaviour. I don't see how that helps???

If his wife were to come on and post her side of the story, along with how willing he was prepared to be with sorting finances etc, then I would advise much the same as I have here. I would also ask her if Relate/therapy was an option as there is a child involved.

Each situation is individual and should be treated as such.

ie, Mark could've immediately decided to leave, be totally uncooperative and refuse to pay a penny to his wife for child support etc. Trust me, he would receive a far different response then!

rachel6188

Mark, I have got no advice just respect for you. You are aware of the mistakes you have made and are genuinely trying to sort it out. It honestly shocks me at how nasty people can be. I really hope your marriage can be saved but if not i wish you the best of luck in the future. take care rach x

mackemdave

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

How on earth am i bitter and twisted? My only concern is for the wife and daughter he has recklessley abandoned.

Perhaps you can all pop round to Mark's house and tell his family that you all are supporting him because he is such a wonderful guy??

If the wife or daughter was on here telling you THEIR version of the story i'm not sure you would be happy with the pedestal you appear to have placed Saint Mark on.

"recklessley abandoned"....is that what your ex did to you...if so he would have my sympathy....READ THE THREAD....Where does it say he is abandoning them...You are reading what YOU want to read into this