Breaking up!

Gemsgalore

Mark_the_owl wrote: »

Thanks again. I know I didn't tell her enough before. Not enough hugs despite her telling me that's what she loved! I was trying to change and since Christmas I thought I was. Obviously not enough for her, I have done nothing but tell her how much I love her since but I bet it comes across as shallow and without substance. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Sorry for bearing my soul on here, if anyone needs support from others it's her. She and her daughter are my world and life without them seems too bleak to contemplate

Have you ever wrote to her telling her how you feel Mark? Sorry , I know you just want financial advice but I know with many women a letter can speak volumes. It's something she will probably pick up again and again .....and who knows, maybe.......

Wish you both all the best anyway.

Mark_the_owl

Michelin wrote: »

But to be honest, just cuddling her more and telling her you love is not going to make this right. There is more that needs to be done first starting with you both talking to each other and separately, determining in your own minds what you want. You need to ask why you did what you did and try to get to the bottom of that. She has to be able to trust you again and that could be causing her issues right now. You don't say if this talking has happened/started so maybe you have already gone down that road. Do you think there is any chance that she will change her mind or is she completely sure this is over?

I'm 90% sure it's over, but I'll fight with every breath in my body for that last 10%. Thanks to everyone for their kind words (and for the nasty ones too) but I'm not sure it can go any further. I've an idea what lies in store for us both, and it's confirmed my fears somewhat.

Thanks again.

determined_new_ms

Mark I agree with the last two postings. Listen to Aretha Franklin "Until you come back to me", send it to her, and keep trying If something's worth having its worth fighting for. I'd want my OH to fight for me, and spend as long as it took to convince me that he realised he'd how much I meant to him and what he'd loose if I wasn't in his life.

And as time goes on, you'll want to feel that you tried everything you could and didn't have regrets.

Michelin

Mark_the_owl wrote: »

I'm 90% sure it's over, but I'll fight with every breath in my body for that last 10%. Thanks to everyone for their kind words (and for the nasty ones too) but I'm not sure it can go any further. I've an idea what lies in store for us both, and it's confirmed my fears somewhat.

Thanks again.

Then there's still a 10% chance.... good luck - really hope you can make this work because you really do sound like you want to. Just keep fighting!

Lily_The_Legend

Mark_the_owl wrote: »

I'm 90% sure it's over, but I'll fight with every breath in my body for that last 10%. Thanks to everyone for their kind words (and for the nasty ones too) but I'm not sure it can go any further. I've an idea what lies in store for us both, and it's confirmed my fears somewhat.
Thanks again.

Hi Mark, sorry don't have much financial advice for you. When my parents divorced back when I was 12, my dad paid money towards the mortgage and had to find a place of his own, which ended up being a rented room in someone's house then a bedsit. It was so sad to see him in a place like that. Would your wife really want that to happen to you?

I should point out that my dad did eventually buy a house, and obviously it depends on how much you earn etc.

You sound absolutely gutted about what's happened, and I hope you can get back together. If not, just make sure your daughter doesn't get in the middle of it all, and make sure however your wife feels about you, she doesn't badmouth you to her daughter.

Sorry that you've had someone on this board passing judgement without even reading all of the thread.

Best of luck, whatever the outcome. x

euronorris

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

not at all. But HE is the only one to blame and has got himself into this unfortunate situation.

You reap what you sow.

Yes, well done for wanting to take responsibility for ensuring your ex and daughter are looked after. Yes, well done, *clap* pause *clap*

Is the air getting thin up there on your high horse? Because, your spouting rubbish for no good reason!

He is not the only one to blame for this situation. People in happy marriages don't look elsewhere. Not saying it's all her fault either, but it isn't ALL his fault.

That's besides the point anyway. I fail to see what benefit your comment brings? (Seriously...I don't get it. He knows he was wrong and now he's looking for advice to deal with the fall out. So what exactly is your point?) Or do you just like saying these things to get a reaction? I think you do!

euronorris

Mark_the_owl wrote: »

She does think it's over. Maybe the way I have come across is me hoping for the impossible. We're still living together but it's quite hard, although there's no hate on either part. Part of me wants her to lash out at me.

What I can't come to terms with is that she took me back at Xmas (I know that's a very emotional time) and I thought I'd got the opportunity to put the past in the past and work towards a fantastic future.

Seems she had second thoughts and now says there is no way back. I get all sorts of conflicting advice, people telling me not to leave under any circumstances. Others telling me to leave her and let her get on with it all on her own. I can't do that to her, I love her too much and I know people will say "You didn't love her enough" but I just want to care for her and give her the life she deserves.

I guess the life she desreves doesn't involve me and that's like having your insides ripped out.

Sorry this has turned into a ramble, I did want some advice but it's turned into a thread about what's happened rather than what needs to happen

Hi Mark,

Sorry to continue on this, but sometimes we have to focus on the past (to learn lessons, understand what/why/how it happened) before we are able to move forward.

Have you tried/suggested therapy for you both?

Dave101t

an affair is far more hurtful than simple sex, if thats the way your 'dirty' was heading. i know you said no sex was involved.

how is/was your communication with your wife? did you talk about anything and everything including extra marital activities? there is no denying your in a tight spot but you cant be kicked out your own home, remember that and dont offer to leave, she can leave.

mackemdave

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

The truth hurts and people have to live with the consequences of their actions.

Ok know it all.....tell us what these actions are!!!!!!

mackemdave

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

not at all. But HE is the only one to blame and has got himself into this unfortunate situation.

You reap what you sow.

Yes, well done for wanting to take responsibility for ensuring your ex and daughter are looked after. Yes, well done, *clap* pause *clap*

WOW!!!!...what bitter and twisted person you appear to be