Breaking up!

Michelin

Mark, sorry to hear about your problems. Firstly on the financial side, have you and your wife been able to talk abou this at all? I think a lot of it will depend on the final outcome of this situation. If there is a chance that you could make this work - and I know that at the moment, she thinks she can't - then a separation could be good for you both to get your heads straight; for you, you need to determine why you did what you did and for her, she needs to decide if in the long-term, she can forgive you and whether to two of you can work at this and stay together.

If you do split up permanently, then will she be able to stay in the house or will you need to sell and split the proceeds jointly? For the moment, you need to sit down and work out how much you would need to finance your life ie, rent, bills etc, how much she needs and then see if that is doable. As you have a child, you need to take this into account as well when working this out. If there is definitely no chance of a reconcilliation, then you may need to sell the house so that you can both have chance at a new life.

Hope you get things sorted Mark.

maggied_2

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

The truth hurts and people have to live with the consequences of their actions.

Good God give it a rest! He hasn't come here so you can lord your moral superiority over him! He sounds like he is going to be living with the consequences doesn't it? Losing his wife, living apart from his daughter. I do hope you are perfect in every way.

Mark_the_owl

Thanks to the majority of people who can see past their prejudices and have offered advice

Ivrytwr3

not at all. But HE is the only one to blame and has got himself into this unfortunate situation.

You reap what you sow.

Yes, well done for wanting to take responsibility for ensuring your ex and daughter are looked after. Yes, well done, *clap* pause *clap*

DKLS

Mark, Sorry to hear your having a crappy time I wont judge as I haven't always been an angel, the situation will probably get worse over the next few weeks, but things will settle down and you will get sorted and your life will improve.

Hang on in there, and if you can sort things amicably without involving solicitors all the better.

Michelin

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

not at all. But HE is the only one to blame and has got himself into this unfortunate situation.

You reap what you sow.

Yes, well done for wanting to take responsibility for ensuring your ex and daughter are looked after. Yes, well done, *clap* pause *clap*

For goodness sake, have you actually read his posts? He is taking responsibility for what he is done - all he is asking for is advice on the financial situation not your judgemental rubbish.

Do you actually have any advice for him on the financial side of this? If you don't, then why not go and find another thread to comment on.

maggied_2

Ignore the holier than thou attitude from a certain poster.....seriously how bl00dy pious can you be?

Your ex can claim 25% reduction on the council tax - she'll need to contact the local council and advise she is the only adult living there.

If you go to www.entitledto.co.uk she can plug in the figures to see what working tax credits and child tax credits she can claim.

Assuming your DD stays with her she will keep the child benefit.

You need to pay her 15% of your net income per month with a reduction if your DD stays overnight with you. See here to get a figure https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp (sorry don't know how to do those short urls).

DFC is correct in that your mortgage lender really don't care where the money comes from for the repayments. You do need to speak to your wife about this. If (for example) you stopped paying and so did she you would still be jointly liable for the repayments.

If (again for example - worst case scenario) you end up getting divorced she may be entitled to spousal maintenance on top of child maintenance and also entitled to a portion of your pension. (this is definitely where you'll need some legal advice).

You do also really need to talk about that overdraft! Do you have a joint account? It would be wise to ensure you don't have your salary paid into it while things are undecided.

I hope you manage to get something sorted either way.

angelicmary85

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Surprisingly, this is not the case ....

Both parties are still responsible for the whole repayment - the lender doesn't care how it's split.

When a party owns part of a property, but doesn't occupy it, then they can charge the other party rent. So Mark could charge his wife rent if she is occupying the whole of the property. In practice, her rent will cancel out his share of the mortgage repayment. See Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996.

On the other hand, Mark will still have an obligation to ensure that his child is housed, clothed & fed. Will post a reply to him separately

Thank you...I like to pick up little bits of info like that so I hopefully pass it on in the future!

wrangler360

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

not at all. But HE is the only one to blame and has got himself into this unfortunate situation.

You reap what you sow.

Yes, well done for wanting to take responsibility for ensuring your ex and daughter are looked after. Yes, well done, *clap* pause *clap*

He has already accepted the blame and repeatedly said his pants stayed up. Chill out people make mistakes and so often people leave relationships and dont consider their other partner and children.

Mark you will need to pay a min 15% to your wife for your daughter normally until she is 18 but sometimes the agreement in the divorce is until the child leaves full time education Uni etc.
Your wife will automatically get a 25% reduction in council tax and if she is working then she will be able to claim Child Tax Credits and Working Tax Credits. Most of the time the parent with child gets to keep living in the house until youngest child is 18 and then sell it or buy you out.

She will need to consider what happens once your daughter turns 18 as all of the child benefit tax credits etc will stop. The government states an "applicable amount" that each person needs to live from and when you are only a single person it drops a lot. from approx £150 per week to approx £65 per week.
This may not be relevant but if your wife has a disability then there is other various benefits that she would be entitled to.

The best thing I would say is to make an appointment with CAB and if you go together then they will be able to go through everything with you including benefit forms.

Im sorry about your troubles and hope everything works out for you and your family.

pinkshoes

Are you sure your wife thinks it's definitely over? From what you've said, it sounds more like she just needs a little convincing to know that you're sorry for what happens, and you love her.

Could you not move out for a bit into a cheapo travelodge, or a house share?