Help for my mum please!!!!!

GemBlueTopaz1984

Hi All,

I am in need of all you knowledge, yesterday my dad told my mum he wasn't coming home and that he had moved in with another women who he works with, essentially your typical midlife crisis, 45 year old man runs off with the younger receptionist, seriously could he be more cliche, now all the emotional stuff aside I need to know what my mums rights are, they have a lovely house that only has a mortgage on it for 1/3rd of its value. My dad was already talking of selling it before we knew this, we thought is was because he wanted to buy his mothers house as he was close to his dad who passed away last year and it's now too big for his mum. Turns out he just wants his share of the money to set up home with her. My youngest sister is 15 also my 21 year old sister lives with them with her 3 year old daughter, now my mum only has a part time job so there is no way she could take over the mortgage payments and all the payment of running the home, Mum earns maybe 10k a year dad is a 100k + earner. Now what i need from you guys is knowledge, i know i won't get sound legal advice but i'm betting there are people on here who have been through or seen something similar. So I need to know is can my mum occupy the marital home with my dad paying the mortgage and other such payments, if so how long can she hold him off forcing a sale. My mum won't see a solicitor because she is sure that he will come back that he will see sense and not want to throw 25 years away, I want to prepare her and protect her from the worst whilst also hitting him where it hurts. HELP PEOPLE PLEASE

mountainofdebt

Tell your mum to get her backside to a solicitors asap - regardless of what she thinks she needs to protect herself and her rights.

Tell her also to put a stop on all joint accounts (just in case your dad goes on a shopping spree or clears out the account) or take out at least half of the account balance and make sure her salary goes into an account in her name only.

Speaking as someone whose dad everyone else said was having a mid life crisis and royally stuffed my mum in the divorce

snapping_crocodile

Sorry to hear you are having problems. Well I am not to knowledgeable on this and I am sure someone else will come along soon to help, but the way I understand it is that your dad cannot force the sale of the house whilst your youngest sister is still in fulltime education. He still has an obligation to continue paying the mortgage until the house is sold as it is a joint debt. Does your sister with the little one contribute to the household bills or anything? But she does need to get some professional legal advice!

Mee

Hi

Sorry about your situation. I'm no expert, but would suggest that you:

Get her to read the transcript of Money Box Live, Wednesday 10 February 2010 - On Wednesday's Money Box Live, Paul Lewis and guests answers questions about divorce and separation @ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/moneybox/7813519.stm

Check the CAB website helpsheets (http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/)

Contact your local CAB or check their website to see if they offer a FLAG (Free Legal Advice Group) service - some local solicitors offer 30 mins or so free advice on set days in partnership with CAB. Some CABs open Saturday mornings, but normally for appointments only.

Check the Law Society (find a solicitor) website before paying for a solicitor...

borrow or buy The "Which?" Guide to Divorce: The Essential Practical Guide to the Legal and Financial Arrangements for Divorce - again so she's prepared even if she doesn't want to go down that path.


Good luck

GemBlueTopaz1984

My younger sister gives 225 a month towards bills and things although working full time her daughters child care costs make it impossible for her to give any more, as for the joint accounts it seems he has been spend on credit cards leaving his wage to go towards the houshold bill, although he told her yesterday about the other women he actually moved in with he mum a month ago stating that he needed time to deal with his dads death, he was getting deeper down all through last year them it got worse over xmas then finally in jan he said he needed time alone to deal with it, we all thought he had a breakdown and to have seen him anyone would agree, not sleeping losing alot of weight always looked like he was just about to burst into tears, little did we know it was guilt not grief. we had no idea that this was happening and neither did my mum or even his mum who was getting to the point where she was really worried he was suicidal. More fool us for worrying about him. He claims that he will make sure my mum is ok financially but I want her to be more then ok, chances are her share of the sale of the house won't buy much in the area, she has been used to a life of big 4 bed house swimming pool is the garden and will probably end up back where they started 25 years ago, in a council house. whilst he lives the life of riley, i'm predicting that there will be a pregnancy soon cos isn't that how the cliche goes.

GemBlueTopaz1984

does anyone know if there is anything more we can do to hinder my dads plan to sell, i was wondering if say my sister who lives there the 21 y/o can register an interest on the property making it even harder for him to sell.?

Mee

I really do feel sorry for your mum, but as someone who lost their father a few years ago, I wouldn't be so sure it "was guilt not grief" affecting your father. A death of a close relative, especially a child or a parent affects us all in different ways which means we may do the wrong thing when seeking comfort. On the other hand this may have happened anyway - that doesn't make it any the less painful I'm sure.

On the issue of the house - your mum may well need to consider advice from the local housing officer or CAB again.

chesky369

As Mee has already suggested, google the CAB Advice guide. You and your sister do it, rather than your mum, who is obviously still in shock and not quite ready to do it yet. But it will give you a better idea of the legal situation. After a couple of days, you mum might be in a better state to go along to your local citizens' advice who will probably direct her to a free interview with a solicitor. Don't think your sister would be able to register an interest.

GemBlueTopaz1984

any votes for punching him then?

mountainofdebt

Gem - not sure it would do him any good but if it makes you feel bette,lol!

Seriously another thought has occurred to me - how is your parent's house held - is it in both your parent's names or is it held in just in your dad's name?

Don't know if this will help your mum or not but its worth knowing all the facts so that you know where your mum stands.

GemBlueTopaz1984

I believe it is jointly owned although mum didn't get involved in the financial side of the marriage she is on the mortgage so it must be in both names.