Am I being paranoid?

Ivrytwr3

Can't believe your OH is actually going to go while you have to stay and work!!

Person_one

August is the cheapest? Are there any school age children going? If there aren't then she's lying to you I'm afraid.

Your OH might not want to believe his mother is an evil *@*!* but I'm afraid it seems like she is to me. I bet all along she wanted a holiday with her son without you tagging along and now she's got it.

Can you afford to go somewhere for a few days in the time you've got off after begging your boss?

delain

mumslave wrote: »

so no school kids coming then? In other words you have bent over backward to try to get something suitable around your work, done exactly as she has asked and she has...crapped on you. To put it politely. Your OH should be furious with her. Personally if I was him I would stuff the greek holiday and go on the £9.50 sun holiday, I would be telling her that a cheap holiday with the woman I loved was worth far more than an expensive get away in the sun with her....

but thats just me.

I have to say I agree with you. My ex-MIL made my life a misery and always claimed to be 'doing me a favour' and all I ever wanted her to do was leave me alone!

Ex thought she could do no wrong, it did my head in.

I think the OP missed out on the sun holiday because MIL was meant to be sernding the tokens off? so the OP has been done out of TWO holidays.

Baby's name changed again mumslave? :rotfl::rotfl:And have you finished nesting yet?

LabLover

I am too nice ,thats my problem.But everytime I mention all the little digs she makes at me people make out like ive got a screw loose because they just cant see it. It hasnt been booked yet but I dont know exact details to try to compare. My OH did try to have a word with her last night and said that he really doesnt want to go if I cant. This is going to sound awful but I have this bad feeling that she will let us stew for a few days and then either book it for August and deliberatly talk about it infront of me every time we go to visit or she will change the date to one I can go on and play the super mum card. But make me feel like a spare part for the whole week and constantly talk about how much more money it cost her changing to another date.etc

BigBlackcat

No, I don't think you are being paranoid. It would appear Your MIL has done this deliberately. She obviously enjoys asserting her matriachal power and your DH has played right into her hands.
Your Dh needs to man up and show her where his loyalties lie - with YOU.
You say your partner was 'gutted' that you couldn't go. Obviously not. If he was truly 'gutted' then he wouldn't be going on holiday with Mummy and leaving you behind.
I think you're being far too meek in the way you are handling this. It's been going on for 6 years, time to start calling MIL on her behaviour. Or else I'm afraid you are in for a lifetime of misery.

BigBlackcat

Even if she changed the dates, there is no way I'd accept a free holiday from this woman. She would be holding that over your head for ages.

Lotus-eater

I wouldn't be mad at my MIL, she's beyond contempt.

I'd be absolutely furious at my OH.

If my OH did that to me and didn't back me up with her family. Or didn't put our family first....... our relationship would be down the pan. In fact she did used to be like that and it took a bit of training to get her sorted, we're alot stronger now because of it, no one can come between us now.

LabLover

Think other people have mentioned the £9.50 holiday? MIL had the tokens and didnt send them so thats that holiday ruined. Im really close to my mum and told her about it, cause I suspected MIL just wanted to take her own family away with her and not me. But my mum said if that was the case then she should have just said that instead of creating such a big fuss and going to lengths she has went to . My mum also pointed out that she accepts that me and my OH came as a pair and that if she really only wanted to spend time with me then she would just say so . I dunno I think you guys are right and I really need to stand up for myself , but no-one else sees what I see thats why I came on here today to ask if I was paranoid because I was starting to believe that maybe I was

BADPENNY_2

Personally I wouldn't want to be in the company of this woman for a whole week on holiday when you are supposed to be relaxing esp as she is the one paying for it. she will be calling the shots all week, do you realy want this. i would say stuff the free holiday it dosnt sound much fun, tell your oh what you feel if he still wants to go then you at least know where you stand in the pecking order. i dont know if you are married or not but if your not and you dont stand up to this awfull controlling wman now she will continue to control you and your oh for as long as you let her. Dont be blinded by the 'free' holiday, it sounds very far from free.

Person_one

LabLover, if you want to you are allowed to stop dealing with this woman completely. It doesn't sound like she values your company or like you get on well at all so what are either of you getting out of continuing a relationship?

You can step back, let your OH visit her on his own and don't let her make decisions or even be involved in your life as a couple. Why on earth was she in charge of your holiday plans anyway? You handed over too much control.

Speak to your OH and see how he feels about you scaling back your relationship with your MIL considerably.