Am I being paranoid?

LabLover

As the title says really. My MIL to be often makes comments that I feel are a dig at me , but then I actually start to question myself because no-one else notices it ,so then I end up feeling bad for thinking that she could be that nasty. fast forward six years and I still keep thinking that she does things out of spite
We had been saving up tokens for the £9.50 holiday and Mil was going to fill it out and send away because she wanted to go at the same time. I was getting a bit pressure from work mates because I hadnt put in any holiday slips and we all like to work around each other so got OH to phone his mum to ask if she had heard anything. OH came off the phone and said "shes not sending them she wants us all to go on a "proper" holiday to Greece" OH was clearly excited and I was quite excited too, we are saving for a deposit for a house so havent been abroad together and so this was going to be great and what was even better was that his mum was going to pay for it. I was just slightly miffed that she hadnt told us what she was planning sooner because we actually like our caravan holiday for the dogs and we could have went ourselves if she didnt want to come instead she left it till it was too late for us to send away tokens before she told us. BUT being a grown up and being really excited about this trip to Greece I didnt mention it. However she then asked us what dates we could and couldnt do . As I work in sales environment (doing invoicing and accounts ) there are certain month end dates that I cant take and certain whole months that I cant take either ( in my contract) so I wrote it all out for Mil stating that this year I COULDNT go in August. Well I think you can guess what happened.OH phoned me at work to say his mum had been to travel agents and it was working out pretty pricey for holiday so the only month that it was suitable was ...... August . So my partner was gutted that I couldnt come. MIL phones to say could I not be reasonable and at least ask my boss if theres anything I can do to get time off !!! I was fumming but to humour everyone I went in and begged my boss who then said I could have one week in that month if I got everything done etc. I would literally need to polish his shoes for the next month , lol Was so happy rang Mil to give dates and youve guessed it.. ... those dates werent suitable for her . So my partner is gutted that I cant come , Im being really grown up and have told him to go and enjoy himself etc , but inside Im really hurt it all seems to much of a coincidence
So my question is am I being paraniod. I obviously understand that if its cheaper that month then it would be silly not to go but I offered to pay the difference if we went another month and was told that that wouldnt be fair ?

deedee71

I always find August is the most expensive month to go on holiday, but I've never been to Greece....

On balance, I think she is being a cow.

red_devil

I think your partner is despicable for thinking of going off without you. What about your right to a holiday its hardly your fault its gone pearshaped?

delain

You're not being paranoid, she's done that deliberately imo.

LabLover

To be fair to my partner the date they have decided on is the month before OHs dads birthday so they are going to have a party at some nice place in greece that they went to as children so he realy doesnt want to miss it and I am trying to be grown up and say that I dont mind when inside im really hurt and upset.Although I have drawn a line at being the source of transport to and from air port for him as I do think its a bit much to ask.

red_devil

I think you should tell him you are hurt and upset and tbh he shouldnt go. His loyalty is to you not his mother.

Boot on other foot also springs to mind!

carefullycautious

I would go out of my way to accommodate everyone that wished to go, even if this meant changing dates.

Nasty w**** if you ask me

mumslave

august, in the school holidays...the cheapest time...yeah right. Totally on purpose unless there are school age kids going in which case it would be cheaper than july.

BADPENNY_2

I would be fuming, especially as the holiday you where originally planning isn't happening now. August is the most expensive month of the year to go on holiday anywhere esp abroad due to kids being off school ect, and i would be having serious words with your oh for even considering going without you especially as you have done so much to try and compromise. no you are not being paranoid she has done this on purpose. are YOU not able to have a holiday now?????????. I am outraged on your behalf:mad:

aliasojo

Maybe if your partner developed more of a backbone, then his Mother would be less likely to try stuff like this. She does it because she can.

LabLover

I did try to say as much last night , I said that I was really hurt and because he really doesnt see what I see he told me that his mum would never do anything like that on purpose. So i was left feeling the bad one for even suggesting that she would do something so nasty.I do want him to go because me , my mum and my sister go on holiday together every 3 years for a girly break -we started doing it after my brother died and we go exploring places we know he would have loved .and I feel bad when I go and he doesnt ,so I respect that he has a right to go on holiday but the difference is the break I take with my mum and sis is for a reason and its not a family holiday as such this holiday with MIL was supposed to be a family holiday