MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

GrumpyOldGits

I dont think its right to lie in any situation, but lets face it, a ring that dear could cause her to be mugged or burgled in this day and age that we find ourselves in. Id seriously spend the 7k on a house part-deposit, or some decent furniture to sit on when they eventually get the house of their dreams, or something far more constructive than a bloomin ring, one that she may even lose down the waste disposal (if they can afford one after their latest extravagance!!)
SO the answer is definately not lie but definately not spend that obscene amount on a poxy piece of jewellry either... What gets me is who the heck comes up with these prices anyway? and how do they know they are even right? I guess its THAT price if youre buying but something completely different if youre selling, thats the thing!!
Tutt tutt! Thats all
Have a lovely afternoon peeps! ((*_*)) xx

Laferge

Absolutely not. If there is a size issue with the ring or the stone comes loose or any issue with at all and she tries to take it back to 'Cart-anys' they will know immediately. This could be very embarrassing for all concerned.

beans

Start deceiving now, where will it end?

If his potential other half can't cope without the very expensive frippery, then maybe he should 'ditch the b!tch' and find someone else that he'll be much happier with.

If her happiness is so dependent upon material goods, she would most likely dump him for someone else who's richer later anyway. Perhaps she should marry a banker.

Simple, straightforward honesty is what's required, deceit is a bad way to start.

Ultimately, if he can't talk to her about it, then he certainly shouldn't be considering getting married to her.

Primrose

A relationship shouldn't be founded on deceipt. If she expects a £7000 ring, it might be better to ditch her now because she's going to give him a really hard time if he ever loses his job and can't keep her in the manner in which she expects to be maintained.

ShakeyStacey

I'm a traditional girl, I'd expect my husband-to-be to pick out a ring solo, or with the help of my best friend. I'd hope the person I would spend the rest of my life would know me well enough to pick out something appropriate, besides if I felt we were getting there I'd be dropping ring hints :P

I totally disagree with everyone who's putting the poor girl down. She's not demanded a fancy ring, it's just something she's always wanted and I can relate to that. The boy should think about what is a reasonable spend for him. Again being traditional I'd go for the 2 months wages (thats what I've always heard it to be). If the more expensive ring fell in that bracket he should go for the more expensive one, if not, he should get the cheaper one. If that was still over price he should go for an even cheaper one. But he should NEVER lie!

cit_k

Spencer should find someone less interested in designer goods, she sounds shallow.

sharalee99

MrParr wrote: »

As I am thinking of buying one shortly, I was just interested in finding out how much is acceptable (and not an insane) amount to spend on an engagement ring?

My engagement ring cost £125, and is beautiful. I chose it. I'm not so shallow that I think spending a ridiculous amount of money on a ring, will make my marriage any more solid. I love my white 18k gold and diamond ring, but I love my new husband more :smileyhea

Pellyman

Don't do it Spencer - the vast majority of posters are spot on and, with your luck, 'the truth will out'!

What does puzzle me is the apparent majority opinion that £4000 is too much to spend on an engagement ring. It seems, from hearsay, that many couples getting married spend at least that on a wedding and/or honeymoon which is 'here today and gone tomorrow money'.

As 'Money Savers' shouldn't we be extolling the investment potential of a good diamond, and, often, a good brand name to back it up. A ten year old diamond, that has been worn every day, is almost certainly going to be worth more than a ten year old wedding dress that has only been worn once and it should last longer than the honeymoon tan as well! One problem with the ring, of course, is the ongoing insurance costs and the biannual valuations that go with it, not to mention the hassle if you lose it (I've been there and done that).

Yes I know - I'm just an old romantic! It does seem however that the cost of showing your love whilst you are young, is invariably disproportionate to your current income (unless you are a bonus earning bank executive).

My suggestion is to ask her to accept a three figure priced ring (that comes with the same amount of love as the one in her wildest dreams) AND the promise of an even more costly 'Cart-any' ring to celebrate your silver wedding anniversary. That might concentrate her mind and it would be money well spent if you get twenty-five years of married bliss - it won't be all bliss of course but, as they say, you only remember the good times.

Tulgey_Wood

If he's even considering lying to her, then the marriage has little chance of success......in which case he might as well save himself a few bob now, because if she's really that high maintenance, he's gonna be skint for as long as the marriage lasts....and probably a long while thereafter.

CJE

Kemiera19 wrote: »

My fiance and I (actually called Spencer!) discussed 'the ring' before we bought it (very unromatic I know) - I put two options to him, we buy a cheap second hand ring (not superstitious so wouldn't bother me) or we invest in the 'Cart-any's' ring (i.e Cartier) and look upon it as something that will be hopefully treasured by our grandchildren as a quality piece of jewellery, possibly our only decent heirloom.

We decided to invest in the Cart-anys ring, spending 1 months salary (no-where near £7k or £4k). When we picked the ring up from Sloane square it was the most magical, memorable experience with exquisite service and the after-sale service is exceptional too (invited back annually for a clean and check).

Back to the dilemma – He should stay within his means & not lie to her. P.S He’d be a fool if he thought she wouldn’t notice the difference. She’d know it wasn’t Cart-anys, if that’s the one she wants, she’d know it would be marked ‘Cart-anys’!

I'm curious. You say "we" does that mean you put a month's salary towards it as well?

As to the question I agree that lying is not a good idea. Opening up a can of worms for later on!