MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

lynnzal

There are several factors to consider here but the main point is simple. Do not lie about the source of the ring, because the truth will always come out in the end and that could likely bring about a state of permanent distrust between you.

Other considerations -

Gold and diamonds are commodities jewelry carries an additional mark up for the creative work of the band and the crown that holds the diamond. Between the two rings there should not be a massive difference in price if the amount of gold (weight and carrat) and quality of diamond are identical. Therefore the issue is probably down to quality.

Designer name. Well it is unlikely that this item of jewelry will have any obvious markings to show it's original sale-point, so it would seem irrelevent where the ring came from.

Advice... Talk to her, go view both rings. If she goes for the cheaper, you could consider buying her a classic designer watch from any savings made. At least the watch will carry the designer name visibly on the face!

Also note that gold and diamonds have a good chance of holding and even increasing in value over time, so should you both fall on really hard times, there is a chance to cash in. Likewise, a decent designer watch will always have a reasonable second hand value.

As mentioned elsewhere, the tradition is to spend equivalent of 1 months salary, so I hope she appreciates any extra investment that you make!

sabretoothtigger

Personally I'd buy a packet of hula hoops and give her ten rings with her choice of flavour of course. However that would give her the option of very easily, accidentally even dissolving the engagement

macavity

no, definitely, don't start out on a lie. to even think about deception is a pretty bad way to start a marriage anyway, i think.

Richard019

[quote=[Deleted User];29988983]Arent you hoping to get a job before 63 weeks? :-)[/QUOTE]

I'm hoping to earn more than I currently do within the next year, I still measure any spending by my current wages though.

nicola1986

Coming from someone who is planning a wedding, she is bound to appriciate the money being spent on the day and not on the ring....and £4000 is still a massive amount of money....on average yiou should be looking at spending one months wages on an enagagement ring - so if you are earning that much a month then fair play to you!!

Definately dont lie - and you will find as well that peices that have that price tag on will normally come with a certificate of authenticity to prove where it came from!! If you lie then it wont have this!

I am sure is she wants to marry you then she will do whatever you give her!! Girls always know what kind of ring they want, but even if they get something they would never have picked in a million years, as long as the person the loves them gave it to them it doesnt matter and you forget about that 'dream' ring anyway!!

I would suggest go for a seriously cheaper ring, something that is beautiful but practically priced and then use the money to have a brilliant wedding (and even better honeymoon!!)

hamzramz

whether it is £4,000 or £7,000. There would be no point in hiding it in a fancy jewellry box, a ring that is worth £4,000 it is definately an extravagant one. 7k is like half the bill for a wedding, shouldn't he save for that? Or for a first class honeymoon? Unless he's just won £56 million pounds in the lottery (and would not need this site at all) and is splashing out extravagantly. (Which makes someone wonder why someone with so much money wants to shave off 3k by putting a cheaper ring in an expensive box)

It's about the ring, not the box, Heidi will be wearing the ring for the rest of the life, the ring box will end up in the back of a drawer.

Why would Spencer lie anyway? Its not like he's putting a £40 ring in a box and passing it off as a £7k one.

penguin_mr

"We don't live in a world of reality; we live in a world of perceptions." (Gerald J Simmons).

Based on this I'd give her the cheaper ring, allow her to believe it is the more expensive one and stash the cash away in a high interest account (if such a thing currently exists).

tupibcn

Rings from "cart-anys" and other high-brand jewellers have a brandmark so she would immediately know it wasn't "the real thing" and thereby making the use of the box completely irrelevant.

pilot.pete

MrParr wrote: »

Personally, this is an interesting dilemma as although my OH is not materialistic enough to want a £7k ring, or even a £4k ring, I find it interesting that some people think that £4k is a lot to spend on a ring.

As I am thinking of buying one shortly, I was just interested in finding out how much is acceptable (and not an insane) amount to spend on an engagement ring?

The traditional rule of thumb was always a month's salary (no idea where it came from though)

So, if he's on £84k, then fine, LOL!

Pee

I think that if they can't discuss this and decide the best way forward together, they shouldn't be getting married.

I really can't imagine wearing a ring that cost more than £400, but on the otherhand, I do think honesty is important.