MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

pennypinchUK

Tell the truth. Don't waste the lies now - you'll need them later on to get through married life!

Philycheesesteak

I agree marriage is all about communication and should be from day 1.
My view is if she's that shallow that she must have the expensive brand then I'd rethink the whole marriage commitment with her. At the end of the day will it be engraved 'Armani'? No. Even if it was you're giving them FREE advertising.

Having been married 10 years this year, it does help if you're both like minded in terms of financial priorities. Yes it's one of the best days of your life but it's 1 day... use the money on more important things like a deposit for your house.

rosemary54

MSE_Penelope wrote: »

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

Would you replace the shoes?

Spencer wants to propose to Heidi. He knows she's always dreamt of owning jewellery from the famous 'Cart-any's' brand. Yet that costs £7,000 while he can get a virtual identical one with the same daimond from an independent jeweller for £4,000. His friend has a 'Cart-anys' box which she's offered to lend him so he could put the cheaper ring in and his fiance would be non the wiser - but he'd have more cash to start their lives together. Should he go through with it?

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he should dump her,£4K on a ring is crazy anyway,does she love him or jewelry?:eek::eek::eek: lying is not a good start to marriage anyway,they should both grow up and think of sensible uses for money

Tricia_^^

awe rc3675 thats lovely

if you are even asking the question...... then something is wrong ~ I would love any ring my hubby gave me for my engagement... the fact he went out and picked it himself (probably the 1st and oh the last time) means more than any designer label.
Can you imagine paying that much.... then 2 months later getting told the engagement is OFF!!!!

irrelevant

Agree with most on here. Marriages work best when you are open and do everything together. Don't start off on the wrong foot!

As for the cost, well, it'd be silly to spend that if it wasn't completely affordable, and if she knows £7K is too much for you (and if she doesn't, that goes back to the being open with each other question) and still insists on it, then it doesn't bode well for the future, sorry.

maxy27

Ehhhhhhhh ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!! Never start a marriage off on a lie ... can you imagine if something happened to the ring and she wanted ot take it back for repair or something? ... honesty always the best policy

RuthnJasper

No - this is too important an issue for him to lie about. Spencer should buy from the independent jeweller's and present it to her in the box it came in.

Maybe he can save up for the 'Cart-anys' ring as a wedding anniversary gift in the future.

If Heidi really loves him, it shouldn't matter - I know that if I was proposed to by the man I love, I wouldn't care if the ring had come out of a Christmas cracker!

A.Jones

He shouldn't lie about it - they should discuss it. But this isn't because of getting off to a bad start by telling a lie. It is to show her that he thinks about purchases, and going for brand names is not necessarily always the best option. If he buys the cheaper one, and lies about it now, then she will think she can always go for brand names.

If she leaves him as he is not prepared to pay over the odds just for a brand name, then he is lucky it is now and not later.

MrsJones76

irritable wrote: »

Easy one. Spend around £500 on a ring. If she doesn't like it she is instantly exposed as a worthless future prospect. Buy a new set of golf clubs from some of the difference and the rest can be set aside for a simple registry office wedding should she accept the ring without condition.
Should she prove her worth and still be around after 25 years of happy marriage then the expensive piece is definitely appropriate as a token of the ongoing loyalty which she has shown.

Honestly Irritable, no wonder irritable is your name, what a load of rubbish! No romance at all and basically what you are saying is that you should see marriage as a job therefore getting paid for marrital duties (albeit after 25 years- why 25 by the way?) I'm sure there is another name for someone who gets paid for "marital duties". Maybe you should pay one of those instead and save your money all for yourself! Thank goodness my husband doesn't come from the same stingy school as yourself.

Mrs J.

custard_monkey

brokeinwales wrote: »

shame on all the judgemental "she's so shallow" types. I totally get this - I'd love to own a pair of Manolo Blahnik sandals, I just accept that it's probably unlikely to happen - what's wrong with dreaming? Just because you have a taste for something expensive doesn't automatically make you a bad person

Totally agree - isn't it interesting how so many have demonised the woman when the actual wording of the dilemma doesn't support this view at all. Maybe Spencer is the man of her dreams and she'd be happy with a ring out of a cracker. He is the one who one who has come up with the idea of duping her at one of the most special moments of a lifetime, perhaps he's the one she should dump?
It also says his friend has only offered to lend him the box - it's the kind of thing most women would want to keep so how's he going to explain asking for it back?