MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

janineo

Don't lie. She may really want the designer ring, but he should only buy it for her if he can realistically afford it. For some people £7000 is nothing. For others, it's 6 months or more wage.

hillijx wrote: »

The general rule of thumb is 2 months salary

Really? When I got engaged 8 years ago, I was told 1 month's salary was the rule of thumb. Inflation, eh?

I chose my ring, and loved visiting the jewellrey stores to try on all these gorgeous rings, but the one I picked, and still love, was well under that £4000!

It's not the price that's important, it's the sentiment behind it.

kemoss

Don't lie! Always a bad idea and would leave a taint over the beginning of your marriage.

We got engaged fresh out of uni when we both had nothing. My ring cost £100 which took everything we had at the time and I wouldn't swap it for anything. We are lucky enough to be comfortably off now and my husband could buy a much more expensive one- but this is the one that has the memories and the love attached. That is the most important thing.

irritable

Easy one. Spend around £500 on a ring. If she doesn't like it she is instantly exposed as a worthless future prospect. Buy a new set of golf clubs from some of the difference and the rest can be set aside for a simple registry office wedding should she accept the ring without condition.
Should she prove her worth and still be around after 25 years of happy marriage then the expensive piece is definitely appropriate as a token of the ongoing loyalty which she has shown.

brokeinwales

She may have always dreamed of owning a certain type of jewellery (by the way, shame on all the judgemental "she's so shallow" types. I totally get this - I'd love to own a pair of Manolo Blahnik sandals, I just accept that it's probably unlikely to happen - what's wrong with dreaming? Just because you have a taste for something expensive doesn't automatically make you a bad person.) but if Spencer isn't able to stretch to £7000 right now (who can?) then now isn't the time to indulge the dream, and I'm sure Heidi will understand that - he should get her a beautiful, but cheaper ring, be upfront about it and let her know that if he ever wins the lottery jackpot he'll get her any Cart-any jewellery she wants. He definetly shouldn't be starting a marriage on a lie, especially about something so trivial.

robpw2

id be happy with a ring from argos or somewhere cheap its the man i want to be with the ring is just a symbol

but if we won 56m last week then of course i might want the 7k ring too lol

walrusoflove

And what happens if it needs to go back for repair/cleaning? They will spot it instantly as not their product, and how stupid will that make him look? If it gets lost or stolen, he'll need to produce an receipt for the insurance claim - lying about this is just storing up trouble for the future!

bosch_3

I'd happily disguise it, although maybe avoid making a big thing out of it (i.e. come clean immediately and jokingly if she suspected)

surprised at the number of people saying otherwise - this sort of camouflage hardly qualifies as "lies and deceit". this is what the jewelry business is all about, you are certainly a mug to consider dropping 7k on something that looks the same as the 4k one.

Justamum

If she wants a £7,000 engagement ring, how much will she expect to spend on the wedding!

Maybe I'm just odd, but I don't particularly like jewellery, and as we were (and still are) dirt poor my now DH bought me a cubic zirconia ring. (Let's face it, the price of diamonds are kept artificially high by the DeBeer family, but I digress). Our wedding cost us nothing (got married in court in South Africa).

rc3675

My suggestion is that Spenser should look at how much he can sensibly afford. Then take Heidi along with him.
If it's "only" £4000, then she can decide for herself if she wants the cheaper no-name, or a different style of Cart-any's brand.
If Spenser could afford £7,000, then Heidi still may decide on a no-name but better style ring.
As I was on very low wages when I proposed, I could't afford very much, so a budget was set and my fiance chose the ring she wanted from a large chain. To add value, I then checked out the same ring in a couple of the stores and bought from the one that had the nicest looking diamond.
After being (happily) married for 9 years, I had a bonus at work and between us we found a dress ring that she really liked. We bought it, just because we could and just because we wanted to, so now it's her very special 'just because' ring.
The value of both rings are much more than just monetary, and the brand is 'our love'.

samarajames

Definitely buy the cheaper ring, but be honest about it!

We supply rings that are just as good quality as a top name brand, and have lots of happy fianc!es as a result! Mainly because the choice isn't usually £7k or £4k it is that the customer has £4k so can either buy a smaller, branded, diamond ring or a bigger (of equal quality) unbranded ring - simple, buy the bigger one:T!