MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

Former_MSE_Penelope Posts: 536 Forumite
edited 17 February 2010 at 6:34PM in MoneySaving polls
Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

Spencer wants to propose to Heidi. He knows she's always dreamt of owning jewellery from the famous 'Cart-any's' brand. Yet that costs £7,000 while he can get a virtual identical one with the same diamond from an independent jeweller for £4,000. His friend has a 'Cart-anys' box which she's offered to lend him so he could put the cheaper ring in and his fiance would be none the wiser - but he'd have more cash to start their lives together. Should he go through with it?
Click reply to have your say

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  • olai99
    Start off marriage with a lie? Why not talk it over with Heidi and let her decide - what is most important to her? A brand name bling or money for the marriage?
  • scotsbob
    scotsbob Posts: 4,632 Forumite
    Obviously the brand name label is all is that is important to these types of persons. Therefore give her the box and stick a £400 ring in (yes £400 not £4000) Unless she is an experienced jeweller or diamond cutter she will never know the difference.

    PLUS if she tries to dump him and be greedy and keep the ring she will get an unexpected surprise.
  • bc3000
    bc3000 Posts: 758 Forumite
    If I was Heidi I wouldn't want Spencer to spend £7,000 on a ring.. even £4,000 seems ridiculous!
  • reluctantworkingmum
    I would ask her - if she chooses to spend the extra three grand to get the name - I would take that as a serious warning and get out fast!
  • WhyIsSavingSoHard
    I wouldn't want £4,000 spent on a ring either, as to me that's nearly 63 weeks of Job Seeker's money!! To some though, it's only a day's work.

    But, back to the question, I would advise strongly that he doesn't disguise it. DO NOT start marriage on a lie. If she loves that £7,000 ring that much, chances are she'd know the difference. My marriage ended due to lies, so I'd definitely say no
    :j I'm not supposed to be normal, I'm supposed to be me:j
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  • Talent
    Talent Posts: 244 Forumite
    Start life together with a lie? Think not! Also, two people already know about it, truth will out for one reason or another. Mind you, unless you can afford to set fire to 7 grands worth of notes, you shouldn't be wasting it on a ring....
  • hermum
    hermum Posts: 7,123 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
    £7k on a ring. Absolutely no way, lie, definitely not. If she's that superficial, run, man, run. Else you'll need to work every hour to keep up with the Joneses.
    Give her a ring for a couple of hundred & pay upfront for the rent on an allotment for life, save the rest & have an MSE holiday every year with the interest & money saved on fruit & veg.
  • *Louise*
    *Louise* Posts: 9,197 Forumite
    If he is daft enough to spend and extra 3k on just a name he is letting himself in for a heap of trouble. That would be MENTAL.:D

    Likewise I wouldn't advocate putting it in a famous box either - why lie to someone you love.

    He should buy a ring (even 4k is riduculous, I would be terrified to wear something that expensive!) and he could always buy her a 'Cart-any' piece of jewellery for a christmas present at a later date.
    Cross Stitch Cafe member No. 3
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  • silvertree
    He should go for the £4000 ring - its still massively expensive and if its virtually the same, she'll love it anyway. If she doesn't, then she does not deserve it anyway! He shouldn't deceive her though, (not a good start to a marriage!) I reckon she would rather know - it would be no good if she starts going on about her Cart-anys to people when its not - she could up looking a fool.
    "One owl, get outta here! Two owls - now thats a party!"

  • Bright_Eyes_3
    Spencer should cut his cloth in an honest way from day one. And they should do it together.
    Don't Lie, but if £7000 (even £4000 sheesh!) is beyond your sensible budget for a 'token' talk it over. Discuss what income you have, what you NEED to spend it on (Essentials for life) then what you WANT to spend it on (frippery) and decide together on what you may sacrifice for such a trifle.

    And if you cannot agree on that?????????????????

    Unromantic? So is a life of deceit and debt!
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