MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Spencer trade in the engagement ring?

Rah

MrParr wrote: »

Personally, this is an interesting dilemma as although my OH is not materialistic enough to want a £7k ring, or even a £4k ring, I find it interesting that some people think that £4k is a lot to spend on a ring.

As I am thinking of buying one shortly, I was just interested in finding out how much is acceptable (and not an insane) amount to spend on an engagement ring?

I got enagaged recently and my husband-to-be bought me a really beautiful engagement ring that cost £130 (I chose it).
How much you should spend depends on your circumstances, but personally I think anything more than £500 is a complete waste of money.
I would say £500 is a mid-range, acceptable-to-the vast majority of people amount of money.
If you earn loads of money then spend £1000. And if you are on a low income then £100 is perfectly ok.

Hope she says yes!

puddings_2

debtdesperado wrote: »

I once had a very expensive piece of jewellry which when I wore I was always paranoid about being mugged for...it took all the pleasure out of wearing it.

When I used to work in insurance, we had this client, a woman who had this huge diamond ring, worth over £60,000 and she used to walk round with it on her finger all the time, it was the highest value single item that our brokerage ever insured.

She also held another "title" in our office... that of being the most miserable, cantankerous old whingebag of a client that we had.

So anybody that says money brings happiness is obviously wrong!

... and she wasnt scared of losing it to a mugger because apparently it wouldnt come off her finger!!

mogwai

i think whether he spends 7k on a ring is up to him - its no less extravagant than spending 20-30k+ on a car. If he earns enough then 7k maybe easily within his means...
I think he should take her ring shopping and see which one she prefers - if she really wants the expensive ring he should decide if he can afford it. I do think an engagement ring is more than just a trinket or token, and certainly worth paying more for than a car
I don't think he should start his marriage with debt or deceit though

Saetana

My engagement ring was a £22 secondhand one (21 years ago) with sapphires and cubic zirconias and I loved it because we chose it together, the cost was irrelevant and all we could afford as we needed all our money to furnish our flat (not to mention a large contribution from my parents as a wedding gift!). I was gutted when I lost it about five years later (it was a little loose at the time) and I've never wanted a replacement, although my husband wants me to have one for our silver anniversary. We were very young (I was 19, he was 23) when we got married and didn't have much spare cash at all, luckily my parents could afford to pay for our moderately sized wedding, although we would have got married in any event - a wedding can be done extremely cheaply if necessary, for example cater one's own "do".

Admittedly I don't see any problem in spending thousands if you've got them to spend but in this case the money is obviously needed for more important things and he should be honest with her. If he can't then they shouldn't be getting married at all. Honesty is one of the main reasons my husband and I are still happily married after almost 21 years.

brucie24

For goodness sake lets get some reality here. For those who critisise the girl - she has a dream, so what? More worryingly the Guy has considered being deceitful before he even gets to the alter, ALARM BELL TIME.

Practically, of course shes going to know it's not from the 'dream' jewellers. Ever heard of Hallmarks? Let alone Valuations/Cleaning/Repairs.

Financially, tradition has generally been to spend between one and two months salary. To some 4-7K is a ridiculous amount to others it will seem perfectly sensible the amount is immaterial within the context of this dilema. The actual is all about HONESTY.

pippinpuss

MrParr wrote: »

Personally, this is an interesting dilemma as although my OH is not materialistic enough to want a £7k ring, or even a £4k ring, I find it interesting that some people think that £4k is a lot to spend on a ring.

As I am thinking of buying one shortly, I was just interested in finding out how much is acceptable (and not an insane) amount to spend on an engagement ring?

The normal amount that is spent on a ring used to be a man's one months salary or just under.

But either way 4k is far too much to spend on a ring to wear for everyday, I'd be frightened to lose it. I would rather spend the money on either the wedding or the house.

brokeinwales

Anyone else wondering why this dilemma is titled "Would you replace the shoes?" btw?

tizzicat

Proofraider wrote: »

No - these things always get found out! What happens if she ever gets it valued for insurance??

Exactly - I work for an insurance broker and if you have just bought a piece of jewellery, the company would prefer to see the original purchase receipt

sian55

Lying to his new fiancee is not a good start! He should tell her the truth - if she's not happy that he's already spending £4K on a ring for her, then he should seriously have a rethink about the relationship!

Angelwhisper

Definitely do not start a engagement/marriage on a lie, personally I wouldn't want my intended to spend £4ooo never mind £7ooo on an engagement ring however it depends on your personal situation and what you are used to. A ring is only an outward sign of commitment and if all is well in a relationship the cost of a ring won't matter. Don't be embarrassed to sit her down and go over financial matters and how you would prefer to use the extra money to begin your life together, you never know you may get a pleasant surprise. I know that at times we say we would like certain expensive items however when faced with the reality of achieving it to the determent of something more realistic we let sense take priority.