need someone to talk to

Savvy_Sue

To be honest, unless you've got a signed agreement from him which says "I've borrowed £1500, I'll repay at £50 per month", I'd not bother trying to get that money back. Even if you do have such an agreement, I'd consider it a price well paid to be shot of him - may I remind you he was waving guns around?

If you do try to pursue it, he'll continue to have a hold over you, an excuse to maintain contact etc.

Get him off the bills, get him out of your hair, get him out of your life.

Stryder

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

To be honest, unless you've got a signed agreement from him which says "I've borrowed £1500, I'll repay at £50 per month", I'd not bother trying to get that money back. Even if you do have such an agreement, I'd consider it a price well paid to be shot of him - may I remind you he was waving guns around?

If you do try to pursue it, he'll continue to have a hold over you, an excuse to maintain contact etc.

Get him off the bills, get him out of your hair, get him out of your life.

You may be right about it being worth the loss to get away no strings attached. However, it is not necessarily true that you need a formal agreement. It just becomes much more difficult to prove responsibility. Plus, we do not know if he is willing to pay some.

He may have acted like a thug, and he was clearly in the wrong, but no one here knows him but the OP. Its best she speaks to the advice/support lines for these issues as they will be able to take an informed and individual response. It maybe that he pays up.

THis is why OP needs to get as much support and advice as possible. thankfully most people do not have experience of this kind of situation.

Good look - and if you cant get the money - keep on MSE-ing.

captainscott996

well i am so so tired now - hopefully will get a decent sleep.

dad keeps going on about money which in a way is worrying me more... he does not know about the loan - he would go nuts if he did...

think that what i need to do is an soa post it on here and then show dad. will have to do this on friday or weekend...

work was ok - spent most of day on my own because everyone else was in meetings but i was getting paid and it was better than sitting here on my own.

boiler is playing up now - what else can go wrong?

had pancakes at mum and dads and watched eastenders. have already made pack up for tomorrow so no naughty spends on lunches.

going to dry my hair and put tv on for half an hour before trying to get some sleep

Stryder

Men, and especially fathers, tgend to go on about money.

Its in their nature

shimmershelly

Have you got any civil protection or is just the bail conditions? I'm 3 weeks out of a DV relationship and mine was not given any bail conditions unfortunately, soI got a non-molestation order through the courts.
The conditions not to harrass, threaten you etc last longer with a civil order too and it's extra peace of mind.

SouthernBellE*

Hi Hun,

Oh dear, don't be disheartened. You've dealt with the hardest part by getting him out. Sorting out the aftermath & practicalities will take time. Make a list and prioritise. Each problem sorted will help you feel more in control. It's easy to overact with smaller issues when you feel overloaded, (I'm sure the bin men didn't do it deliberately!!!!) but remember, you have a mountain of support on here and excellent advisors in both emotional & practical issues. Follow the advice on getting your money back but try not to rely on it for your bills, If you regard it as gone, it'll feel like a bonus if you do get it back. I know that this doesn't help with immediate money worries, but even being repaid would take time. We all live and learn my love and you may end up having to cut your losses. I tend to agree with advice given that it was still a small price to pay to be shot of him. You realise that debt could have been far worse had you stayed with him.
'The little engine that could', you must know it, the doubt will go and a new positive you will emerge. Don't worry about dad. If he's ranting about money its because he's worried about how you'll manage. Be honest but remind him, you realise it was a mistake but you are taking care of it. If you were my girl, I'd rant too, but it would be because of what he did to you and the problems he's caused you, I'd still be so proud that you got yourself out of it.
Stay busy and try and spend more time with friends. Invite them round for girly nights, it won't cost you anything and a giggle with your mates will do you the world of good.
Give the council a ring & your bins sorted!!! I know your struggling with cash at the mo but if you're worried about the boiler, you don't want an expensive repair, maybe you could look into cover. I think homeserve do cover for around £7.99 a month. Just a thought.
Don't let the little things drag you down, you're doing really well. Keep your chin up my love, life will be good again! xxx