need someone to talk to

captainscott996

Pee wrote: »

If it's a first offence, he is unlikley to be going to prison. If it's not a first offence, then prison would be the best place for him by the sounds of it.

he was waving a gun at me - i think it was only one of those air guns (mind still would have hurt alot if aimed at me) but the police were very interested and searched the house last night

Lotus-eater

captainscott996 wrote: »

i own the house so at least

So he goes then. Don't let him back in the house.Not sure if you can get the police to take his keys off him or not.

See I know you are going to turn round now and say, I can't kick him out on the street...
Yet you said you were worried about yourself because there were weapons in the house, jesus flippin christ.....

eklynne

I would call the police and get an injunction order on him, so he can't come near you or the house for the time being, to give you some breathing space.
I would also 100% go through with a formal charge of assault. I have been in this situation before, feel free to PM me if you need any more advice x

bertiebots

captainscott996 wrote: »

keep asking myself did i wind him up - did i push him too far.

he just snapped.

in a way i don't want him to be charged because i love him - silly i know...

sat at home on my own feeling really low.

dont feel like i can speak to friends until it is over and sorted out.

what if he goes to prison - what will i do with his stuff

wish the police would tell me something.

what do i do if his mum phones the house - i have to answer in case it is the police. will the police have told his parents or siblings?

There is NO justification for any violence. If he is ill that still doesnt give him the right to abuse you. And you do not have to take it. I doubt if he will go to prison tbh and could be home by tea time to do it all again or say sorry untill the next time.
Been their ,got the t shirt etc and if you dont break the cycle he certainley wont ......you know what to do,get away and quickly.

bertiebots

captainscott996 wrote: »

he was waving a gun at me - i think it was only one of those air guns (mind still would have hurt alot if aimed at me) but the police were very interested and searched the house last night

Ok you didnt mention a gun before . I am going to be blunt here. Go NOW somewhere safe and stay there until you have some sort of protection , be it him staying in custody or a court order keeping him away.
Sympathy for him on your part could end up with you getting seriously hurt or worse.
I say this in the kindest possible way because you really need to see that it is not right.

Person_one

A gun? Even air rifles can do serious harm, people have been killed by them. You need to stay well away from this dangerous person.

If you own the house on your own then don't let him back in it! Change the locks today, put a chain on the door. Put his stuff in bags for now, you can deal with it when you have an idea where to send it but get it all packed up so it feels as though you're on your way to being rid of him.

If he starts harassing you go to the police and get an order.

Pee

He was waving a gun and threatening you and you felt scared?

Speak to the Police, discuss with them the next step forward, see a solicitor if they suggest it and get an emergency court order to keep him away from you.

(That might get him into prison... but still think fairly unlikely unless he fired it or had weapons that he shouldn't have done, i.e. without licenses, hand gun that is now illegal.)

I would think about what you will say to his Mum, how about that she needs to speak to him and you have decided that you have to put yourself first. Don't try to get her on your side. If he threatened you with a gun, you want rid and that probably means no more contact with the rest of the family - that would be easiest.

captainscott996

eklynne wrote: »

I would call the police and get an injunction order on him, so he can't come near you or the house for the time being, to give you some breathing space.
I would also 100% go through with a formal charge of assault. I have been in this situation before, feel free to PM me if you need any more advice x

when i spoke to police just before posting it didn't even sound as if he had been interviewed...

now that i have you guys on here i am more upset than before

a few years ago i had such high hopes - look where i am now.

a year ago me and a friend got drunk and i remember saying that i didn't feel like me anymore - i used to go out every weekend and have loads of friends.

since i have been with him i have hardly been out and the only time we went out as a couple was to tesco.

he didn't buy me a birthday present because he was made redundant. i had the day off (hoping to go to cinema or something) and he refused because he was ill. i bought myself some flowers from the supermarket.

god it sounds so depressing

bertiebots

This could be the start of a new ,better, possitive life for yourself. Help is out there for you. Grab it with both hands and run. You only get to do this once so dont waste your time with someone who does not deserve YOU.
Instead of thinking about what was ...write a list of what you want!
{{{{hugs}}}} you need them.

Lotus-eater

captainscott996 wrote: »

now that i have you guys on here i am more upset than before

!!!!!! happens, anyone on here will be willing to talk to you by pm, some by phone as well I suspect, or contact your RL friends and ask for help. Or your Mum, imagine if your daughter had gone through this and she hadn't asked you for help?

Sounds like a lot more than just this one thing has gone wrong. In some ways it could be a good way to make a clean break.