Do you call mil mum or by her name?

lostinrates

My MIL is dead. When talking about her I refer to her by her name or as ''dh's mother''. He adores my parents and calls them by their family nicknames....which I often use too, and so do their grandchildren.

lisawood78

Sometimes Mum, sometimes her name, depends on the situation.
Cards etc always go to, and come from Mum and/or Dad.

CallaLily

Zziggi wrote: »

I've been with my DH for 18 years. More than half my life. I see my MIL once a fortnight but more usually about once a week. In all these 18 years I have avoided calling her anything. I don't know what to call her - her first name? mum? How bad is this....

At least it's not just me with that problem then .

Agutka

In Poland, you get invited to call parents in law Mum and Dad during the speeches at your wedding. But then you have to be close to call each other by your first names anyway, so it's either that or Mrs Mr X.
My OH can't bring himself to do it though. I usually call my MIL nothing, as I am really self conscious - but I call her Mum to OH.

savingmummy

My parents brought me up to call close friends of the family aunt and uncle, even elderly neighbours. I still do so.

My in laws i call by their name, i can`t call them mum and dad - feels odd!

Newly_retired

My MIL told me to call her either by her first name or Mother. I do neither. I don't call her anything unless I am writing to her then I put Mother which to me is very impersonal.

Bennifred

Zziggi wrote: »

I've been with my DH for 18 years. More than half my life. I see my MIL once a fortnight but more usually about once a week. In all these 18 years I have avoided calling her anything. I don't know what to call her - her first name? mum? How bad is this....

I am exactly the same! And this has been going on for 30 years.....LOL! None of the available sounds "right" so I avoid addressing her directly unless she happens to be looking at me and I can say "you". I'm so conscious about how awkward it is that I make a point of introducing myself to my sons' girlfriends by my first name (Son: this is my Mum...Me: Hi! I'm Bennifred, blahblahblah) I am also much nicer to them than MiL has ever been to me:D

musicmam

I'm in the 'camp' of not knowing what to call my MIL and also try to avoid it somehow. If I'm speaking about her to someone else I usually say OH's mum.

One problem that did crop up was that when we've sent Mothers Day cards and it will be signed just from my hubby. MIL took exception to this one year and promptly wrote in it herself from me as well. I pointed out to her politely that she wasn't my mum as I already had one.

*Louise*

I tend to not use either as well (didn't realise so many other people did the same!!!) :rotfl:

I started off years back calling her mum, then I overheard her when she was drunk telling OH to leave me as he was too young to settle down etc (bearing in mind he was 25 and we had a child!) also I had different parenting ideas from her.....you know, really OBSCURE ones like not allowing her to smoke around my kids, not drinking when I was pregnant, not allowing kids sweets as babies etc...therefore my child was 'wrapped in cotton wool' :think: ('rolling eyes' smiley has done a runner!)

So I never called her mum again. We do get on a bit better nowadays though, esp since she gave up smoking.

Cards get sent to 'mum and dad' but only cos it would be daft not putting my name in xmas cards etc.

valos_mummy

jellymid wrote: »

Caller Display says "Danger! Dragon".

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:brilliant! I don't know what to call my OH's mum, thankfully I haven't had to call her by anything yet. Same with his dad. My OH has no problem calling my mum by her name though.