Do we have a brat camp type boarding school in the UK?

seven-day-weekend

How about Summerhill School (A.S.Neal's place)? I believe they are very good with difficult/unhappy children.

seven-day-weekend

http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/

seven-day-weekend

Toto wrote:

Then don't argue with X just send him out of the class where he won't get street cred. .

Not allowed to do that these days. You CAN give detentions, but a lot of the kids just don't go to them and their parents don't make them.

seven-day-weekend

I think he may feel pushed out because of his younger siblings and think nobody loves him.

Prudent

seven-day-weekend wrote:

http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/

Summerhill don't enroll children over 11, although children already enrolled can stay until about 17.

Counting_Pennies_2

Another suggestion, an alternative to sending him away in the holidays if you can't get in anywhere, or it proves impossible.

In the school holidays different organisations offer activities.

Tennis academys (for beginners and others for improvers)
Football or Rugby training
Horseriding
There are also non sports clubs.


I wish so much I had been allowed to do something extra out of school. I am sure things went down hill for me so much quicker because every night I came home and made supper for the family because my mum worked late, I didn't have chance to mix with friends or do activities.

I now crave doing things and will try to offer my son as he gets older a variety of activities so that he has something to look forward to other than school and home.

In all your despair you may think you are taking a bashing from our responses over the last few days, but hopefully you can take some of our advice to help. Remember him in the good days and remember to love him despite the fact he may not be terribly likeable at the moment. Try to see the trigger points for him having a go at his siblings, I know it sounds like many at the moment. It really is a family thing, someone doesn't become bad, they develop a behaviour through situations and experiences. Try to have a good hard look at the family, do you offer him individual time, to go out just him and a parent to do something. Do the little ones unintentionally always come first. Has he been sidelined unintentionally within the family. Does he do anything outside of school, did he previously, could he do again? Is it possible to sit him down and tell him you love him, but that he isn't helping things with his behaviour, could you ask him what it is that is troubling him, beit in the family or outside.

I really do think that despite all the rejections you will get in the early stages that if you persist, give him personal time with yourselves without the little ones and work on it as a family and not just seeing him as the problem and be prepared to change yourself it could work.

Good luck

**purpleprincess**

I just wanted to say (((hugs))) this makes me think so much of my brother. He was like this, but in addition to this was smoking, drinking, swearing, taking drugs and got expelled from school. We're still having problems with him now at 18 (not wanting to alarm you though) ...................... It does sound as though he needs someone to talk to, being a teenager and 14 years old is the hardest time, hormones are everywhere, you're not a child, yet not a grown up. I have worked with young adults and young offenders (as a result of dealing with my brother) and often they just want to talk to someone, but without someone "having a go" . Is there a mentoring scheme in your area? ............................... Couldn't you ask him if there was something he would like to do over the holidays, just the two of you? So that you get some quality time together? Without the younger siblings? This also could be hard for him too, they are of a similar age so can play together but he probably feels a bit left out??? dunno hun!! Just my two-penneth worth xx

mandi

Oh Girlpower, please dont send him away.. In my opinion it would probably be the worst thing you could possibly do. im afraid..

Hes 14, still a boy, but wanting to be "one of the lads" and wants to think hes grown up.. hes realised that hes his own person, and has his own opinoins.. Yet hes still very immature, and needs much love and attention ..

Im going through something similar with my 12 year old, he hardly speaks to me, wont do anything with me because hes " embarrased" to be seen with me, and I dont even get a kiss off him at bedtime..anymore in case it riuins his " street Ced!!!:eek: "

What I do know is that he needs, stability, reassurance, the odd cuddle ( when he feels like it..) and to know that hes loved..


If you send your son away, imagine how he will feel..Mum hates me, doesnt want me at home, and loves my Brother/sister, more than she loves me.. He will feel totally rejected, and it will impact on his future adult life..

My advice to you is get the help thats been suggested on the other posts, & in the meantime try to understand that as BAD as he is, he still loves and needs you..


Good Luck


Mandi

GIRLPOWER_2

http://www.completemindtherapy.com/childrens%20issues.htm

I have calmed down a little now.. It was a really bad week with him. and have done some searching and have found a life coach for him..(see above link) and it's only 5 minutes away from my house.

I thank you all for you advice it's really made me think and whilst I can understand people thinking he may be pushed out after 9 years as an only child it's really not like that.. he has always had a odd attitude.

I love him withyout question, I just do not like how he's turning out and it's having a big effect on the younger two.

The reason as I see it as to why he has no friends is he is bone!! They knock on and I hear him at the door asking what you doing?? where you going??? a million questions followed by a No, I carn't be bothered.. they have stopped knocking now.

I really do not think he's being bullied at school. He is the sort of lad who if he thinks he has been wronged in any way he will shout it from the roof tops! but it is something that I had not thougt of so will monitor that one.

Thanks again.. will let you know how the life coach sessions go.. let me know what you think or if anyone has tried it before with there children.

GIRLPOWER_2

pavlovs_dog wrote:

do you have any relatives nearby (parents/in laws/ siblings) who could take him off your hands, even for a week, just to give you a breather?

and are you getting any sort of support from the school, or do they see him as your problem?

This grandparents are crap.. not interested realy just do the duty when we make them feel guilty that we need a break. And he hates going when he has to anyway.

The school have given up on him. they know he will leave without any qualifications and hes always on report for.. never taking a pen into lessons. always late and his back chat.