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Do we have a brat camp type boarding school in the UK?

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Do we have a brat camp type boarding school in the UK?

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
173 replies 69.1K views
GIRLPOWER_2GIRLPOWER_2 Forumite
1.4K posts
edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
I have to send my 14 year old son away to school. This may sound awful but we have tried everything and it's no good.. He is now having a big impact on our 4 and 5 year old who he speaks to like everyone else he comes into contract with... like dirt on his shoe.

Does anyone know of any boarding schools in the UK or even the US that would like him.. He in the lowest classes and will not listen in lessons.. they are lucky if they can get him to take his coat off!

His good points are he does not drink, smoke, swear or take any drugs.

Please help I am deperate.
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Replies

  • I would guess that if you can pay the fees there will be quite a number of boarding schools that could accept him. If you can't pay fees, you could seek help from social services if his behaviour is putting himself and his siblings at risk. HTH
  • GIRLPOWER_2GIRLPOWER_2 Forumite
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    Thanks you for your reply.

    We could get a loan.. it would be worth it.

    I am looking for something that will not only allow us to breathe but that deals with problem children and may give him a better attitude towards life andd others. .. can anyone suggest any?
  • if he doesn't smoke drink or take drugs he can't be that bad. i dunno anyone that cud be classed as bad that doesn't do any of these things. Spending all that ,oney shows you really love him, not sure that the best answer. If he doesn;t obey teachers where he is, why do u assume he will when u paying £20,000+ a year. If he gets expelled then you'll be stuck, youll've soent loads and having nothing to show. If you kicked him out, a horrible thought i know, he'd get put in council housing, he'd learn to live like an adult. My friend got kicked out and lives like this, and is probs better off. Although he is a few years older.
    Wouldn't it be better to look at the reason why ur son is badly behaved, maybe a phyciatrist (sp) as opposed to admitting defeat.
    Im lost as to what your sons issues are to be honest?

    Laura
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    Hi
    Going by your 1st post I'm assumming he had 9 years of being an only child before the younger children came along and went from only child to eldest of 3 at the same time all the teenage hormones were kicking in.

    Is the programme teen angels still on? There used to be lots of tips and advice on that. Do they do the 'mentor' scheme at his school?

    Hopefully someone who did/does have troublesome teens will be along soon with advice and suggestions.

    good luck, big hugs

    xx
  • KatgoddessKatgoddess Forumite
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    What about a childrens holiday where they get to do adventure type stuff and you can have a break from him for a couple of weeks.

    http://www.campbeaumont.co.uk/residential/index.asp

    I don't think that sending him away to boarding school will solve the long term problems, but I'm not a parent. :confused:
  • GIRLPOWER_2GIRLPOWER_2 Forumite
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    it's very hard to explain but if you were with him for more than 5 minutes you would want to kill him I promise you.

    He's not like anyone one else I have ever met.. his attitude towards his family..(he has no friends) is shocking.. he talks to everyone like dirt and when I challage him he knocks me out of the way.. I then remove everything from his bedroom he loves and he kicks off... same old day in day out... so you start to stop saying anything as it just drags you down.. then the younger ones see this and they think it's ok for them.

    He has a new teacher at school who rang last week to ask me the best way of getting his to remove his jacket without it spoiling her class...

    E.g.. 5 mins after lesson has started he still sitting in it.. she asks for him to take it off.. he replys "well when such a body had a jacket on the other day you said nothing to them.. teacher asks again.. he replies..your alway picking on me. 10 minutes later the coat is still on...he woud have preferred to set his head on fire before he would ever just take the coat off and he see's it that everyone else has got the problem.

    This is the last resort.. I am paying him to go to army cadets at the moment which he hates but thought it would help.. but no. I have tried to get him to goto the duke of edinbrough award scheme, kick boxing.. we have family nights, 1 to 1 talks, us time without his brothers, talks with the doctor, his teachers..grandparents have spoken to him.. it's banging your head against a brick wall.

    I need to get him away ferom the younger children before it's to late.
  • GIRLPOWER_2GIRLPOWER_2 Forumite
    1.4K posts
    Katgoddess wrote:
    I don't think that sending him away to boarding school will solve the long term problems, but I'm not a parent. :confused:

    I don't believe that anyone can help him... but I do know that he is destroying the childhood of a 4 & 5 year old who do not stand a chance whilst hes around.

    Thats a good idea to send him for a few weeks but he would not go.. I have tried to talk him into it before.
  • Penny-Pincher!!Penny-Pincher!! Forumite
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    Hiya....Hugs!!

    Has he been assessed by Social Services? You may be able to get some help from them or at least guided in the right direction! Have you spoken with your GP about this? Maybe he can be refered to your local mental health team for assessment.

    What is it you are worried about? Has he threatened you or the other children? Has he harmed himself before? Are there any signs of abuse?

    PP
    xx
    To repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it,
    requires brains!
    FEB GC/DIESEL £200/4 WEEKS
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    what's happening at army cadets? Does he try to pull stunts like I'm not taking my jacket off there and if he does what happens?

    Has he always been this way? I do know of several teenagers who come close to what you have described.

    could ringing these people help

    http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/le
  • GIRLPOWER_2GIRLPOWER_2 Forumite
    1.4K posts
    Hiya....Hugs!!

    Has he been assessed by Social Services? You may be able to get some help from them or at least guided in the right direction! Have you spoken with your GP about this? Maybe he can be refered to your local mental health team for assessment.

    What is it you are worried about? Has he threatened you or the other children? Has he harmed himself before? Are there any signs of abuse?

    PP
    xx

    Hiya PP.
    Not been assessed by SS.
    Gp says hes normal!
    No threats to me but he screams them at the young ones all the time.
    Defo no signs of abuse..

    It's hard to say how bad it's got but his attitude and manor is shocking.
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